30 Bananas a Day!

I used to hunker around here a lot, with the hopes that someday it would just click and going LFRV would all of a sudden be simple for me to do. I chased the simple and failed. I started drinking coffee again, I began to eat unthinkably gross food, and I put a little weight on. Ironically, I dont even care about the weight that I put on, It was only about 10lbs. I just feel really bad, Mentally and physically.

 

I have always had issues with anxiety and I have this awful mental fog, almost feel like I have a slight case of ADD. My issue is that I am very OCD about my diet, and if I am not perfect, and follow what I say I am going to do exactly, I go over the edge. I have recently began thinking about going no poo and I have also thrown away and repurchased cleaning products over and over again. I think I have wasted more money trying to go LFRV then anything else. I have no idea why I am having so much trouble committing. Well, I guess it could be because of outside influences, and just the everyday struggle. I have no idea why when it comes to food that I feel I need to fit in when I am comfortable with not fitting in when it comes to every other aspect of my life. It is weird, and I do not get it. I do beat myself up over this stuff. I just want to be healthy, look healthy, and feel healthy.

 

I do not think I am horribly unhealthy, I am not overweight, however, I just feel like I am abusing myself inside. to top it all off, I have an extremely supportive fiance who supports to raw vegan diet, so what is stopping me? I have no idea, but I deff. need some friends. I am generally really antisocial which is why even discussion forums do not work out for me. But I need to give it a try or I am going to make myself insane. I woke up this morning with full intentions to only eat raw this morning, I did until I did not bring enough food to work. I know I have to plan, but I really dont want to have to think about food constantly.

 

I think I am crazy, my all or nothing attitude will absolutely drive me over the edge one day. I just dont know what to do about. For instance, I get rid of all household chemicals but then throw my hands up and say "whatever, I am going to be exposed to crap that is out of my control so why not just be "normal"." then, I say, "Well I cant control everything and it would be a good idea to not purposefully harm myself with these chemicals." and the cycle starts all over. I think part of my issues is that I have no one that can relate to the things that I want to do to become a healthier, non toxic human being.

 

I started this post with a point.....somewhere in the middle I lost it!

 

I hope some of it makes sense! I am not even sure what type of response I want. however I know that saying these things to the average person, would not get me anywhere!

 

-Sarah

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I havent tried meditation, most likely because you are right, I am extremely scattered, and trying to get my mind to calm down is extremely hard, which hopefully if I could stay on track will change. I am aware that I do not live in the present, yikes another thing to get all crazy about!

Can you reccommend any good books on meditation?
How so? What is it?
You are right!, and I know for sure I have OCD I dont need a doctor to tell me that!
I am exactly the same RB, and all or nothing girl
If you have a busy life and eating this way is important to you, you will plan ahead so you can conveniently eat this way.

Something I've noticed when trying to get my family to eat this way is that they never plan ahead and expect for it to work. They end up eating a few pieces of fruit and starve through work until they get home and binge on bad carbs. This is always avoided by one simple thing you can do for yourself: ALWAYS MAKE FRUIT AVAILABLE. Every time you're hungry, fruit needs to be an option in front of you.

If being perfect is part of your personality, own up to it. Take it from me, being a Perfectionist only works if you put the work in. If you don't, you'll take the easy way out and THINK about being perfect, THINK you aren't, then THINK you're crap. What's missing here is the "DO." Slice up lots of fruit and put them in tupperware, blend up a few smoothies, and soak a bunch of dates the night before. Take everything with you when you leave your home the next morning and you'll be 811 that day. :)

Sorry if I was too harsh; during moments I felt like I was talking to my family.
"Own up to it", I like that. And thanks for the reminder, I need to "DO".
Hiya Sarah,

Do you mind if I share some thoughts?

1. You mention you have an all-or-nothing mentality. Most of us do, but not with all issues in our lives. For example, when you were a little kid learning to ride a bike (or potty training, or learning anything else you really wanted to learn, like driving), did you throw in the towel with your initial failure to stay on the bike? When you drive a car and run a stop light, do you declare yourself a failure and just go on running red lights? Of course not!! :-) You keep reminding yourself to be careful, no? Absolutist learning isn't helpful in most circumstances. It's incremental learning that's the better way to go, I dare say...

2. Why do you want to go lfrv? Write down your really compelling reasons so you can get really clear as why you're doing this.

3. What's your strategy for incorporating raw foods into your life? Most things in life are not the wish-and-make-it-so ventures as most of us are led to believe, especially if you don't have a history of eating abundantly of fruits and veggies (alongside cooked food). When I began I committed to 50% raw for the first 6 months. This was something I was prepared to do and that I figured would lead me to daily success. Then I began amping it up from there. Just get an achievable strategy going. Then by the end of a year you will have enjoyed many successes!

4. Even if you stayed with cooked food, no matter how you slice it, you have to plan. Just eating "'whatever' in today's world won't do, in fact it will kill you. I did an experiment for a while, asking my co-workers, friends, etc. what they were having for dinner that night, and NOT ONCE was anyone able to tell me. Mostly, they said something like, "I don't know, I guess I'll pick something up on the way home." We just can't be that random in today's world. Even cooked food eaters HAVE to ramp up their fruits and vegetables, watch their fats, etc., and this takes concerted effort--the SAME effort you have to exert with going lfrv! So it's a "wash." You'd have to do this step no matter which diet you're on.

5. When I quit coffee and junk food my severe anxiety (which I suffered from all my life) went away immediately.

6. When you get clear on your values and put them into place, I'll bet you'll be amazed at the people around you who show up to support you (Like the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher(s) will appear.")

Just some ideas. PLease try to avoid being so hard on yourself. Slow the heck down and take it one issue at a time. Improvements have a way of showing up in your life exponentially--once you've gotten the basics down, then all the other stuff (no poo, etc.) will rapidly follow.

Hope something in here helps! .........ana xxoo
I am so glad to hear that there is a possibility that I can atleast get some benefits out of this for my anxiety, which is one of my main reasons for wanting to go LFRV. You gave me some great advice. And you are right, I need to stop being so hard on myself.
Hi Sarah. You were very clear in your writing. It will allow many of us to relate to our own similar experiences, and to what you are going through. It occurs to me that there are many places we can focus our attention. We can be in our heads about our diet. We can be in other peoples' heads, as in what do they think about my diet. We can also be in our body - feeling, listening, thinking from the point of view of our body cells. When I do this, I even embrace the inevitable discomfort that occurs when I feed my body something it doesn't want. But more importantly, when I focus my attention (is it spiritual awareness?) on my body, I tend to go from one good meal to the next, one good day to the next.

I hope this makes sense? However, it takes a lot of problem solving and the building new experiences to be something society is not. So don't think badly of yourself. Your head is your friend...lol. It's tough for all of us to think through new circumstances, build new habits, AND be hungry again before we're capable of doing it all! For instance, having a bag of mandarin oranges available at work when lunch break comes takes effort and planning NO ONE ELSE has to do. Just you! But staying focused in your body consciousness will allow you to move from victory to victory, and not see the difficult meals or days as all-or-nothing-losses. Your body is your friend and partner. Remember to work with it - because it's easy for all of us to be in our heads, or the heads' of others.
Rick you totally made sense. I think I live in my head, and it is because of my anxiety. Being present is something that is really hard for me, and always has been. It is something huge that I need to work on.
A load of GREAT advice! Thank you!
I can totally empathize with what you describe. It takes time and effort to adjust, but with time it will become normal and routine. Can you focus on one area first, for example, your diet, and make other changes, such as personal care and household stuff later, whenever you have the energy to focus on that? I recently got back on the path of trying to make the transition as well, and finally now I have a groove where I know how much to buy at the farmer's market each week, what to buy from other places, and how much to take to work to make sure I'm not starving any time. You won't have to obsess about food the rest of your life, because it will become a habit. Best of luck!

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