This topic is exhausting for me to write about, so please forgive me & perhaps ask me to fill in blanks, if the post is difficult to follow or is missing information that you believe is important.
Basically, I struggle with what I consider to be a bad "food addiction", because I have not met a psychiatrist or expert who has been able to help me work through this. I very impulsively consume large amounts of food to deal with emotions. Once a thought to eat a lot of food is there, the "thought" is so loud that food is all I can "see". As a result, I eat what ever high fat & high refined carbohydrates are accessible: Sugar, fats, breads, cheeses, etc. The symptomatic anxiety and depression linked to this addiction, caused me to quit a job that I worked very hard to secure. After quitting the job, I spent three months recovering from the "food relapse". During those three months, I secured another job, which, [on a positive note], I think suits by interests and strengths better. My first day was Monday September 9th. On that day, the management took the new hires out for lunch to Dim Sum. Out of "respect", I ate what was served, which was not even close to 80/10/10 HCLFRV. This has turned into three days, of not being strong enough to follow the 80/10/10 HCLFRV diet.
The consequences of this are my mind is foggy, my energy is low, and the food voice is very loud. The thought is so loud and I don't know how to cope with it. I am scared I will go off the rails again. I'm just wondering if anyone has struggled with this type of addiction. In my opinion, it's the opposite of anorexia (because I binge) and different than bulimia (because I don't purge).
Prior to my ***K up, I had been 100% HCLFRV & exercised for 15 days in a row, which was a significant accomplishment [for me]. I was able experience & enjoy "high vibrations".
You are on the right track! Eating with non vegans/801010ers can be hard. Don't be ashamed to say you are vegan. It is something to be proud of!!!!! Having lines you won't cross can help for instance always staying vegan. I find that watching videos on how animals are treated such as Earthlings can really help with this!
touch the earth eat what grows on earth and is a plant type food :) bing on good quality fruits that you love :) over time you will be in control like you allways are :)
I have experienced this before and I think the secret to overcoming it is to surround your self with better options. That way when you feel the need to eat a lot of food you have those things to go to.
I have suffered from binge eating before I became 801010 and even while I was vegan. And even though those things have stopped me from eating animal products, I would still binge. When I was vegan it was peanut butter, bread, vegan chocolate, etc. Now that i'm 801010 I binge on fruit. So late at night, after I've consumed 4000+cals (to prevent binges!) I end up binging anyways. Might have 15 more bananas, 3 to 4 smoothies, etc. So whilst being 801010 hasn't helped, the mentality has helped a lot more. I only eat 801010. Therefore anything that's not 801010 is not allowed. I'm hoping that over time this will help me recover. I keep remembering that all long-term 801010 people are fit, healthy and have no disorders, etc. So keep being positive and don't give up! :)
PS. I definitely know it's binging because I have the 'binging' mentality whilst doing it. I have no problem eating large amounts, in fact I enjoy them. But when I don't enjoy them, im not hungry, have the binging craze whilst eating, I definitely know they are binges because deep down i'm doing it to drown my emotions.
I can sooo relate to your story. No amount of will power could ever keep me on the path I desired for very long - didn't matter if it was vegan, 801010 or RV. I'd make a resolution and within weeks, days and even hours I would be breaking my commitment to myself and pigging out on whatever I could get my hands on. I'm so gratefully binge-free and compulsive eating free today and it has completely transformed my life. The paradigm shift I always longed for when I was out of control with eating. Now I help others get free of food obsession and compulsion, in the same way that a beautiful, kind soul helped me, so if you're interested in finding out more you can PM me. lots of love to you. xox
Sam, I'm sorry it's being such a rough time for you. Chin up, though... you'll find the path that's right for you as long as you keep looking.
I won't go into details here but I thought I'd pose another perspective for you to consider. Everything happens in its own good time.
Food was good to me for a very long time (I've been on the XXX SAD for 48 years and have loved it) when the world was very dangerous to me. I learned a lot about myself as well as the world around me over the years and food was my safety net. Ultimately, I learned to adore myself in my uber plus size body and to be easy on myself and those around me. And, funnily enough, as soon as I did an amazing lifestyle presented itself to me that I'd never heard of before and I was converted, immediately in my heart but physically after I went shopping the very next day. My husband is amazed at my commitment and genuine joy.
My learning lessons about the emotional side of life have taken decades and it's been a fairly gentle ride in a seemingly natural progression. You're doing it the much tougher way so you're going to get knocked about.
My preferences for poor food choices naturally faded over the years while you're going cold tofurkey.
First and foremost, love yourself more every day. You're going to in the long run, once you get the hang of the lifestyle that works best for you, so you might as well take a shortcut. *grin*
Make this as easy as possible for yourself. If you want to keep people from making a big deal about whatever you're eating, just say you're staying away from processed foods for medical reasons. Make up a reason if they get curious - make it outrageous for a secret laugh. People love stories. You don't owe anyone an explanation anyway. Have FUN with all this - it makes the tough times bearable.
To all the beautiful people who have responded on this thread - I have good news: I have NOT suffered from addictive eating for the past two and a half months (May 23rd, 2014 was my last binge). I did this with the help of many recovered fellows and a 12 step program and as a result, my life has taken a 90 degree turn. I see my life continuing to turn and heading towards more beautiful light & positivity!! :)
Much love and appreciation to you all for your kind words of encouragement and love along the way. <3 <3 <3
If any of you who are struggling still, with what I was describing in my post, please don't hesitate to message me for more information about how I got help and have thereby regained myself and a more full life!! :)
Wonderful news, Sam! Glad our community could support you before and ongoing.