Wow, I almost took down yesterday's blog post. I was like an incoherent depressed zombie. Thanks everyone for your support! I felt terrible all day. Well I got home last night, blasted through all my chores and got to bed by 9pm. Tonight I have a seminar after work from 7pm-10pm so I knew I wouldn't have time to make food for dinner and all of tomorrow. So last night I set up a "smoothie factory" and made 12 liters of green smoothie so that all my food for Thursday and Friday would be made, in mason jars in the fridge. I cut up like 25 mangoes, peeled around 25 bananas and a cut up a pineapple. Then I laid out my greens and got to work. It was fun to have a systematic process for all of it. I really had a blast doing the work. Something about setting out all the supplies, and running it like a factory operation forces me to be very present to the moment, so the whole ~1hr long process was very emotionally therapeutic. Maybe it's just the engineer in me. Plus now I have tomorrow's food already made. Don't worry, it's in mason jars and will still be good :o)
I tried to power through my chores as fast as I could but without stressing myself out. Occasionally thoughts would creep in like "oh you're taking too long, you're not going to get to bed until late" and I would just dismiss them saying that I was doing the best I could and I would still get an early night and sleep really well. I realize now that often times stressing about NOT getting get a good night's sleep will manifest that and I'll have trouble falling asleep because I worry about not falling asleep. So I just made an effort to accept myself and know that I was doing the best that I could and it really blasted away those negative thoughts and the associated stress.
When I got into bed I started reading a book called "Conversations With God" by Neale Donald Walsh. Chris Kendall recommended it to me for helping me not being judgmental of others and myself. I should point out that I am an atheist, so this was quite a jump to read this book. I thought it would be about spirituality in the sense that "god is everything" which I can accept because then "god" just becomes an arbitrary term. But it's not quite that... I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, some of it's good, some of it is a little too Christian , but I am keeping an open mind and reading it. However, about 12 pages in last night I came across a nugget that was just absolutely fantastic, and probably worth the price of the book alone.
I wish I had the book with me to quote this but it essentially said that God doesn't answer prayers of people asking for things or wanting things. This mentality of "I want ____" only manifests more scarcity, people never get that. But God (or the universe, or whatever) does answer gratitude. Gratitude being thankful for something begets more of it. Kind of like the law of attraction you are asking God, or the universe, or whatever for more of it. Just like people who are complaining about things they DON'T want are just manifesting more of it because they're putting energy towards resisting what is. I had heard about the power of gratitude before and I was kinda iffy on it but that put things in a totally new perspective for me. I will be doing much more with gratitude in the future.
Shortly after that I dozed off into a great sleep. I slept until 7:15 and woke up feeling WAY better. What's funny is I know that I can feel even better than this if I can get my SWS under control on a consistent basis. Nights like last night where I blasted through one of the most negative days, and got to bed early and woke up feeling good remind me that I *can* do this. Also, I haven't really wanted rice today :)
2L of pineapple mango smoothie
4L of banana-mango-lettuce smoothie
Maybe some snacks when I get home :0
6L of banana-mango-lettuce smoothie