So I am back on the vegan path, at least. Even if I am not completely raw yet, I am working at becoming much healthier than I have ever been and much more conscious of what my body desires. Today I enjoyed:
About half a watermelon (my favorite food, which I eat a ton of)
some brown rice with olive oil (there is not enough fruit in my house, I needed carbs)
A small Clif bar (same problem)
I would have eaten more, but I had to work and am not permitted to eat during my shift. I also jogged for half an hour, and added in some stretches and light weight training. Having not intensely exercised since I left for Germany in late February, I am easing back into regular exercise rather comfortably. As I think I mentioned in my profile, I plan to fully transition to 100% HCRV (that's what we are calling it nowadays, correct?) during the start of my final year of college, which commences in early September. I will be living in an apartment, and with a grocery store within 20 minutes walking distance, I will be able to make my own calls on what I eat and how much (aka, no more feeling guilty about eating half of the watermelon in the shared family fridge!). My campus also has a circular road, which is perfect for jogging and walking around, and also offers free fitness classes should I feel like mixing it up!
One thing I have realized about myself during the past few months is that I really don't want to have to change for anyone. There are some people in my life who I consider important to me, who do not support the healthy but personal path on which I am headed. They think my interests are impractical, and a waste of time. Aside from my ongoing interest in natural health and hygiene, I am interested in possibly pursuing a future career as an alternative health practitioner. I feel very strongly drawn to non-invasive practices such as holistic nutrition, reiki, naturopathy, massage, and Shamanism. I have always felt very, very connected to the occult and currently consider myself a non-practicing Pagan (because I have not yet found a direct path that I feel a great affinity with...I guess I could be considered an eclectic). I do believe in "supernatural" creators, but also in evolution and the power of nature, and I reject the way that Gods and prophets are represented in most common religions. I believe that all people have the ability to heal themselves and others, but most don't believe that it is possible or are too self-interested to discover these things.
I am especially struggling at the moment, because my current romantic partner is the complete opposite of me. When I am around him I feel wonderful, and we share an energy and chemistry that I do not want to lose if at all possible. We live a great distance from each, and this is has also been difficult because he is rather reserved and doesn't feel that it is necessary for us to communicate on a regular basis. I, on the other hand, believe that communication is the key aspect of a relationship, and while I am overflowing with eagerness and positivity, his work puts him in a terrible mood because he dislikes that aspect of his life, and too often takes such negativity out on me. There are also the fundamental beliefs that we do not share. I am very peaceful with those who have different opinions than me: my philosophy is that others' points of view are also valid and I will respect them while avoiding unnecessary conflict over them. He, however, is very stubborn and believes that only his path is the right one. This is problematic because: He is a devout Catholic; he comes from a very conservative family; and his family raises cattle and feel strongly that eating meat and dairy is healthy and the right thing to do. I would not have a problem with this, if he did not expect for me to exchange my beliefs for those that he views as "right." I worry that the relationship I have with this person will not progress because of close-mindedness on his part. While I like to resolve problems in relationships before ending them by any means, I am sadly not sure how much longer this can last.
I hope that my vacation next week might offer me some clarity of mind and allow me to spend some time in precious nature.