Admitted that I'm powerless over SAD--in all its forms and guises--that my life is unmanageable.
That means I must abstain entirely from SAD, because I apparently cannot moderate, manage or control it.
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I think you're on the right track Lee. :)
Coming from where you're at, it won't be without it's challenges, but it sounds like you're psychologically prepared for the task.
I actually found the AA book to be quite helpful early in my change. I recognize it's written about alcohol, but it's principles are applicable to many situations in life. I hold the outline of the 12 step program close to my heart (with my own modifications). So, even if the folks at AA aren't able to be supportive of your particular application of the program (after all, they're struggling immensely as well), the book (or just the ideas) can still be a support tool.
The beautiful paradox in recognizing our powerlessness is that when we do, a new power tends to slowly rise within. I'm not religious, per se, but I think this is what might be meant by "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." I think whoever wrote that must've understood that when we give up what we cling to (for the sake of what is good within us?), we lose that life, but gain a new (better) one. :)
Glad you've come to 30BaD. The members here are am amazing source of support and strength :D
Well said, Jon. I'm on Day Five right now. It is the start "again" of (hopefully) a complete and permanent lifestyle change. First comes the psychic change of admitting that I'm not always in control of my feelings, thoughts, actions, cravings, etc. Sometimes I can pick up a beer or a chocolate brownie--even when I don't want to!
This is a profound revelation for me: the realization that I can't seem to control my own eating, drinking and smoking, much less my own relationships, finances, destiny and death! So I'm still working on the 12-step way of thinking about reality and truth. I'm still trying to admit that I'm not as important, powerful, smart and important as I think I am. And each time I eat, drink or smoke something that sabotages my program I "start again" with Day One, until I finally get it right.
Actually, I'm not finding any support at all in any of the 12-step programs for anything other than stopping drinking! Those people don't even want to talk about anything but alcohol. So, I have renounced AA, OA and alanon--because they conflict with my recovery--which is now 30BAD.
My father (a recovered alchoholic) used to say to me: "first, save your life. Then you can worry about saving your soul". What he meant was that we need first to reach that place of really taking our lives into our own hands - we need to reach down deep and find that determination to be the person we know is waiting inside. In his case, he needed to stop drinking. In your case, perhaps the same is true for SAD.
In terms of diet and lifestyle, it's my firm belief that this determination essentially arises from an acceptance of ourselves as we are in this moment and an essential self-love that exists even in the darkest times. That self-love is the impelling force towards positive change, and where we are now is the only place we can start from. So we do what you are doing and make an honest, objective self-appraisal of our current condition. Then, take up an ideal in our mind: my ideal is simply one of optimal health, within and without.
From there... it's a matter of stepping slowly and mindfully towards that ideal. It may take years, and heck, we might not ever actually meet that ideal, but the journey of ever-stepping closer to it is worth every moment!
Start with the simple steps; work on the essentials: plenty of carbs from fruit, water, sleep and exercise. Build those up into a solid foundation, and in time you can work on refining all the details.
And when you stumble... read this friendly reminder:
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