My first blog on 30 Bananas A Day

I have been having troubles thinking of what to write for a blog on here. Well, after what had just went through today, I feel like I know what to write now.

I grew up eating regular meals, which for me was vegetables, potatoes (mashed, or scallop) and meat as the main part of the dish. I had lived this way for a long time. As a teenager I started snacking a lot. Which turned into emotional eating. Although I never connected the two. After high school, I had moved out on my own. Eating anything I could afford was my goal. I still never knew I was an emotional eater. After living on my own for a couple of years and eating whatever I could, I moved back home. Still not eating on a proper healthy diet, I ended up eating more snacks. I was eating more junk food than healthy food.

It took some time, but I started thinking something wasn't right. I had talked to my doctor and he sent me to a dietitian. My dietitian has told me that I have Binge Eating Disorder (a.k.a. Compulsive Overeating Disorder). I have only been to see my dietitian twice, I only go once a month. I don't know how much it is helping though. I've really only noticed more of my emotional eating. Especially today, after eating lunch, I ended up feeling so guilty that I crawled back into bed and cried. I had lost all motivation to do anything. The only thing that got me to stop crying and out of bed was talking to a friend.

I have also come to a conclusion that the thing I fear most now is food. It is taking over my life. I'm getting to the point where I am afraid to eat.

If anyone has any tips on how to help me, that would be great.