It's weird and hard to explain, or at least it seems that way sometimes. I started my last year of college recently and it's been a little rough, driving almost an hour a way for 5 hour classes, 3 times a week. It's been taking a toll on my car and pocketbook for sure.. but I'm surviving. Between gas and groceries, I barely have any money - which is kind of stressful. Find my self becoming sad every few days - don't really know why, guess I'm just feeling lonely and I'm just trying to find my place in this crazy world. Finishing college is kind of scary to think about because I don't really know where I'm going to end up.
I'd love to go out West, I'm not really liking the East coast anymore.. it's really wearing me out and I think it'll be time for a change around next summer. I'm just so anxious to get out of here and actually start living, instead of always "preparing" through school and such.
But anyways, just wanted to vent a little.. hopefully someone out there can understand how I feel. This place is cool because there are so many other people that are like myself and that can relate to how it is to be vegan nowadays, so I'm thankful for sure. Until next time, thanks for reading. Comment whatever you feel :)
Comment
Comment by Craig Plunkett on September 21, 2012 at 1:28am It's because you desire security. The desire to be secure and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing you see - if you try to be secure you will just feel insecure. You are assuming the lack of security in the very desire to be secure. To try to control the thing that's controlling is to already assume that you're not in control.
There is a larger 'you' than that self-conscious reflexive 'I' who you would " try to make happy", "make secure" or somehow assure something like a "certainty" for.
To look for it is to already suggest that it hasn't been found . The person who is fearful of the uncertainty is smuggling in the unquestioned assumption that there could be someone there who could be 'secured' who would be outside the flow of time.
The more than one clings to the idea of 'self' regardless of experience, the more that this problem gets magnified.
Comment by Ramona Mi on September 20, 2012 at 9:26pm Hey Brandon,
I can understand you very well. I know this feeling of beeing unhappy without a clear reason. And I am living in a flat who is too expensive (at the beginning, it wasn't, but I have started a new school and can just work 40 % now) and I am stressed about finding something cheaper.
This unhappy feeling is always with the question "for what all this sh...? There isn't any sense."
But there is also a big trust in me, that everything will be good, and after every down comes a high. So be strong and wild and free and be sure, that something phantastic is on the way to you :-) There are a lot of beautiful things in our life, nature, the love of a family...and you are not alone!
Love and greetings,
Ramona
Comment by Brandon Schaefer on September 20, 2012 at 9:43am I know what you're saying, but what I had posted dealt really little with my diet.. I don't emotional eat or anything like that, and I'm not really struggling with eating/staying on this diet. I was just talking more in general. Thanks for the advice, I do have hobbies outside of school and eating haha, I do a lot of different things, painting, playing guitar/keyboard, working out, etc.. I was just expressing the fact that school and work has been overwhelming - yeah.. I'm not sick and dying so my life isn't terrible but doesn't mean I'm all happy and chipper all the time either.
Comment by Brandon Schaefer on September 19, 2012 at 11:08pm Thanks for the encouragement Alexa :) You're right.
Comment by Alexa on September 19, 2012 at 4:17pm Keep looking up Brandon! Things work out, like DogWalker said, somehow seemingly all on their own. Soon you'll be looking back at yourself, laughing at any worry you may have had about your future. We all have doubts.... take it in a positive light and see without them we wouldn't have the same idea about what we really want in life, or the same drive to get it. Know in the meantime it all works out in the end...your job is to enjoy it for what is now :)
Comment by Brandon Schaefer on September 19, 2012 at 3:07pm
Comment by DogWalker on September 19, 2012 at 3:00pm I think it is great that you have found this community. The period leading up to and right after college can sure be tough, and it is great to create a support system for yourself to help you through. Some how, everything works itself out - even if what it works out to be was unexpected :)
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