Its all as it was ... and I am not happy

Hey guys,

I have been laying low for a while, mainly because of the way I feel mentally. My lapse into crappy junk food and inability to snap myself out of it has inadvertently brought on the feelings of depression and anxiety i felt i was ridding myself of some months ago.

My weight has fluctuated upwards by a couple of kilos, and while I haven't gained a lot back of the amounts I initially lost, this gain hangs heavy on my body and on my spirit. I don't know what happened, I was powering along like a steam train, and it is as if a huge boulder was dropped in front of me, stopped me in my tracks and left me dazed and confused, unable to get going again. I don't know what it was, and I don't know how to fix it.

I need some sort of motivation, some sort of advice, not just being told that "i can do it" and "to stay strong" cos lordy knows that hasn't worked thus far,..I was so proud of myself in the beginning, and now I hate who I am. the woman that "CANT" do it.

It is as if there is me and someone else is doing the driving, it is frustrating, it is insanity, I want to be happy SO MUCH, but I succeed at failure.

While positive words would be lovely, I would prefer a nice hard slap in the face. If you catch my meaning.

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Comment by Prana on April 23, 2010 at 4:30am: There is this saying: Resistance creates Persistence.

The more you resist something, the stronger it gets. This is why the form of behavior modification know as denial doesn't work for many people. As you resist a desire, the desire only grows stronger.

Another option is to use consciousness. When you are starting to get into the mood where your desire for junk food arises, start keeping a food diary for yourself. Before eating anything, write down in your diary what you are feeling. Are you tired, disturbed, angry, overjoyed, overwhelmed, etc.? Then after you eat, write down what you are feeling again, especially if you notice a difference of feeling.

Do this for a while, and see if you can find a pattern of feeling around the times where you are attracted to junk foods.

Once you get in touch with the feelings that drive you to junk food, you can come up with alternative ways of dealing with the feeling other than eating junk food.

Comment by Laurie on April 23, 2010 at 3:07am: What would a "nice hard slap in the face" be to you? What would you like someone to say to you? This is a genuine question--I would like to help. I do think it would be helpful to look back and see what might have triggered this setback.