Well I just had one of the worst experiences of my life yesterday afternoon/last night. On day 3 of re-feeding at just before 1:30pm I had the sudden need for my first bowel movement since the first day of the fast so naturally went to have it. Everything wanted to work the way it always had except it just would not come out. I was coming up to my next meal in half an hour so wanted to get it over with but two and a half hours later I was still on the toilet and by this time was in quite a bit of pain from trying to push it out alternating between sitting and squatting on the toilet. My body eventually turned some of it into a dark brown stinky sludge which came out but I could still feel the majority of it there wanting expulsion. I got out a few small hard bits eventually but I was in pain and exhausted so managed to take a shower in lots of discomfort and make it to bed. During that toilet stint the staff came and found me as I did not come to my meal when they told me it was ready and Loren was called in to talk me through it which was a relief. He assured me it would eventually come out and the only other option was an enema which he does not recommend and I was determined not to have to go down that path either.
I ended up eating my next meal half an hour later at 4:30pm hoping that may shift some things and that brought on the second innings. Oh God if I thought the first was bad this totally redefined pain for me! Another 2 hours on the toilet and I was a wreck but had managed to get a couple of larger bits out but still felt I was nowhere near done. I felt nauseous and had gone into a sort of fever state where I just couldn’t get warm no matter what I did. I also was starting to need to urinate but could not. I went back to bed rugged up and was brought warmer bedding. I decided to have my final meal for the night which was at 7pm and then went straight back to bed and slept.
I awoke with a bladder that was begging for relief and tried to go again which starting the 3rd and worst innings of all at about 8:30pm. The worst pain and frustrated emotional anguish I’d ever experienced. It was pure hell! I managed to get another couple of bits out but still not to completion over the next 2 hours or so. I still couldn’t urinate though but did manage to get a few trickles out during that time which gave me slight relief. I did not have any energy left and couldn’t bare anymore pain that I had no choice but to try and go back to bed. I was also shivering and needed to try and get warm. Luckily I managed to sleep again from pure exhaustion.
I awoke again around 1am to an even more pressing need to urinate so had no choice but to try again even though I knew I didn’t have the energy or could bare anymore pain. I’m not religious but did plead to whatever may be out there for at least for some bladder relief. So I gave it my all and got something shifted that allowed at least some urination to occur over an hour. Such a relief! I went back to bed still uncomfortable and in pain but feeling gratitude and fell asleep again.
Woke up again needing to urinate at 5am and was really dreading the hour long process and pain. Much to my relief things seemed to flow a lot easier although still very slowly and within 20 minutes I was relieved and back to bed. Something shifted in my bowels whilst lying there and the intense need to have a bowel movement subsided and the pain eased. Lots of movement occurred over the next couple of hours and a bit of gas later I was feeling like it could be over for now. Fell asleep until breakfast at 9am.
Well it's 1pm now I’m exhausted and sore but am so grateful my body did not persist with its attempt to eliminate. Hopefully the watermelon I’ve been eating will start being enough to form some of the next bowel movement so I don’t have to go through that again. It does feel good to have that out of my system though as it looked and smelled highly toxic (very dark brown and smelt like a combination of meat and chocolate...not pleasant!) and definitely was not from anything I’ve eaten since I’ve been raw. Wish I had not have had to have gone through it but in the end it was the majority of my bad choices that put it there in the first place, especially since I’ve known what the optimal diet is for the last 13 years and didn’t stick to it. Just glad it’s over for now!