Excited and Nervous

Hey guys!

Okay, so here I am.  I've started my training as a health coach and I did my first (practice) inital coaching session.  It was a real session, but it was free and therefore not too worrisome.  I did okay, but a little nervous. :)  I feel like I get really excited about helping people with their health, but then I question my ability to help myself  and therefore question my ability to help others... which is so stupid.

I would LOVE to just be 100% on this lifestyle and show other people, look, I can do it! So can you!!  I really did feel at the top of my game when I made it about 3 weeks on pure fruits and veggies.   Then I fell off badly.  Now I'm off and on, off and on.  So I really need to commit to this.  I give myself reasons for not doing this 100% and then I keep them a secret so they can't be resolved.  It's like some hidden intention I have to keep myself unhealthy.  Whoa!!  I should just reach out and communicate if I'm having some problem.  Not keep it a secret and doubt the diet.

Funny thing is, I know my body pretty well, and when I treat it right, it heals SOOOO quickly.  Almost like I'm scared of change, even when it is a good change.  I bet after a month or two of this lifestyle, I wouldn't even be thinking about my weight, body issues, lack of energy, cravings..  Yet, every day I look in the mirror and think- God, how did I get so fat??  I just weighed myself today (I don't weigh very often but I was curious) and I'm now up to 169 lbs.  That's 20 lbs heavier than I was just 6 months ago.  Yikes!  Crazy thing is that after I saw the number 169, my next thought was- I'l just keep eating junk until I'm 170 and THEN I'll start losing weight.  How S-T-U-P-I-D!  Not saying about myself but about the irrational thought process.  My brain probably didn't have enough carbs to make a logical decision at that point.

Another thing is the cold weather- it brings memories of hot chocolate, noodle soup and christmas cookies.  It is so hard for me to combat the social pressures and childhood memories.  It's just one more thing that makes me think- I'll just wait until after Christmas.  But NO!  I can't wait any longer.  I must do something NOW!

Good news- I ordered fresh dates for the first time- a sampler box from Bautista Date Family.  AMAZING dates.  My favorite are the Khadrawawasomething-something and the Honey dates.  YUM!!!

So, I decided I'm going on Banana Island tomorrow.  For 5 days to start with.  Then there is *Gasp* a "holiday party" at my work on Wednesday night.  If I'm brave enough, I'll survive without eating junk.  But for 5 days, nothing should be in my way.  I WILL do it.  (with a date here and there.. how can I resist?)

Okay, so that's a lot for one day. I'm gonna write on here more.  This is fun. :)

BYE!