Having to eat a lot is making me feel really weird.
After years ( 21 years , can you believe that ? ) of dieting and restricting and damaging my self esteem and being over controlling then binging and having eating disorder to deal with on top of lack of health...
I finally find myself in a position of : HAVING TO EAT LIKE A MAMMOTH !!!
My mind can't take it, after year of deprivation it is now OFFICIALLY time to "binge ".
Yes " binge " : because after months of eating 800 or 500 calories a day, when I am eating a normal amount of food it makes me feel guilty and like I have been overeating badly.
I have read a lot of informations about the physical symptoms of detoxing but there is a lot more to it :
there is the mental change happening when suddenly I have the freedom to eat and I have the obligation to sustain my metabolism by eating huge amounts of fruits and veggies.
And that is even harder and greater than eating the fruits only for my brainwashed head...