Day 53- REALLY strong cravings...

Alright idk what it is, but tonight i am having the worst cravings for cooked foods.  Idk if it was bring in a restaurant all day surrounded by it (even though i was drinking my smoothies) but i am seriously craving like...bread with peanut butter, or rice.  I didnt have the greens i always have at night tonight, because the kale salad i ate last night left me with a horrible stomach ache all night when i was trying to sleep.  All i had for my "salad" type of meal was 2 zucchinis made into pasta and 2 tomatoes.  I had 20 bananas today, 2 liters of water, 8 medjool dates, 8 deglet dates.  Nothing is stopping my craving.  I havent had these strong cravings since i started this.  After my salad is when i had 4 of the medjool dates and 4 of the deglets i ate tonight.  I was still hungry, and craving cooked food.  That didnt help. Ive been stressing more over school and the fact that since this weekend ive felt such bad migraine pains, and also not felt rested no matter how much i sleep.  I am not going to go to classes again tomorrow, and im going to the Dr's because i need this sorted out now.  I need my blood work taken so i can see what i am deficient in, and I'm pretty positive it will b B12.  I know i am craving cooked food because i dont feel well, im stressed, i cant seem to get energized, and i feel downright depressed and crappy.  I hate feeling this again, its like im back to my old self.  Ive DEFINITELY been getting enough cals every day, so thats not it.  Ive been doing really well with my greens (kale) except now i cant eat the kale because of how much it makes my stomach hurt.  Idk if juicing it will help, but i dont want to take the fiber out.  Im so frustrated!! I wish i like the taste of romaine just a smidge, but i cant stand it.  I want to love greens, i used to be the salad queen, but of course that was when i still ate balsamic dressings all over them.  I cant stop thinking about making a sandwich.  I know how horrible it is, ive never wanted a sandwich so bad before.....is this all of the stress and not feeling well speaking to me??  I cant believe this craving and anxiety i am having over the fact that i cant stop thinking about a sandwich, or why it is so appetizing to me.  I also have not have any overts in a few days, because i thought i wouldnt feel as sluggish if i didnt eat them.  It must be a combination of no overts/greens?? im really trying to put my finger on it......Grr!! 

Today i felt crappy all day at work.  I was tired (when i slept 9 hours monday night and my nap, and then 8 hours last night), not as focused, depressed, grumpy, just not happy.  On my break i went and sat out on a bench and finished reading 80/10/10 finally, and let the sun beam on my face for the whole 45 minutes.  As soon as i get back to the restaurant, i feel like poo again.  When i got to work in the morning, my coworkers noticed i wasnt my usual self.  I am just really not happy with being here in MA anymore, working too much, not being able to focus on school enough, cold weather happening, stress from my family, just everything seems to be getting me down in the dumps.  All i want to do is move to LA, go to school, and dance.  Thats it.  I dont want to work right now, i want to focus on school so i can get the best grades, focus the most on it, and then have a job later in life that pays me well and that i love.  I hate waitressing for the big fact that i am so disgusted by everything i serve.  I guess if i worked in a raw vegan restaurant, around fellow raw vegans, especially 811rv's, it would be a different story.  But no, im surrounded by SAD eaters, eating cheeseburgers and crap all day at work.  It just brings me down and im grossed out all of the time.  I need to be in LA to pursue my dance dreams.  I need to dance on a tour, movie, commercial, music video, awards show, dance show, i just need to dance.  Its my only love in life, and with being so busy with school/work, i literally havent danced since august.  this is NOT ok!!! no wonder ive been feeling so lousy.  I also had been to overworked/stressed/tired to exercise.  Im sure this is adding to it all.  

I have way too much on my plate right now, i finally want to focus on school and like learning, but work is getting in the way, and so is my tired-ness.  I just need to go to the Dr's tomorrow....find out what im deficient in....and i hope i start feeling better.....

Really not a happy banana at the moment :(...