Day 12 the worst

I had the most horrible day at uni yesterday. And been crying pretty much the whole of it. 

Worst day ever. Been good studying, eating my bananas. Everything was cool and then I just broke. I cant handle this MSc pressure anymore. 

Came back, made fruit salad... bf brought pizza and I had 2 slices. I needed to loosen up. It didnt even taste good. But it felt good not to have to watch what Im eating for once.

Im loving this diet but at this point, in the beginning, it feels more like restricting than a lifestyle. I had a tough day. I had to let it go.... 

Was it worth it? No. But it felt good... I feelt relaxed of all the restrictions and challenges I throw on myself in the hardest academic year Ive had so far. My other options were to drink or smoke. So 2 slices of veggie italian pizza on almost nonexistent crust wasnt that bad.. As I was almost hysterical I had to find a way... and exercising would feel like Im forcing myself too.

Whats done is done. I dont feel great about it, but it's too late now. 

Im back here with my green smoothie ready for a run. in rain. but i gotta go..