It felt like I had this huge mountain to overcome today, and that was in the area of my anxiety...
I did not know how I was going to get over that. It just felt more enormous than I was. I had to deal with it though, right? Can't avoid going through everything in life... one of my friends sort of coached me through, letting me know I would have to deal with this in life sometime and pointing out that I was focused on the small things and not on the big picture. So right was my friend! I knew none of it was logical or sensible. Thankfully, I was able to go through it... and somehow, I ended up having fun. Whew! I hope I can take this and use it for any time I feel my anxieties coming at me again... to know that I can channel it to where it wants to go.
Part of why I had that anxiety come at me, I think, is because I had not taken any big challenges on in a while (I was in a small world for too long) and always stayed in the safety zones. I had a lot of potential energy that was just going nowhere. When there came to be a challenge, I was a little sloppy in my coordinating of the energy it would require. When I used it, I felt much more fulfilled and glad that I did. I was finally able to laugh a lot, able to perform as I wanted to, and able to enjoy it...
I really do need to challenge myself a lot more, especially socially. To think big. To strive higher. Must think on a larger scale. Expand my horizons in that social arena. I'm so used to being safe, to not going out. I must open up to these things so life isn't so rough but can be more interesting and fun. Then I will know that I can face and handle anything and everything to my best ability... having no areas of handicap or areas of stunted growth that are ignored.
It definitely doesn't feel right when I did not exercise or accomplish anything that required high energy in the day. I want to make sure to do that, so that I can keep the high energy and my focus, and not go sloppy for the challenges that arrive!
Hopefully that made some sense. I feel like I overcame a hurdle today.
Oh, and my friend I've been keeping accountability with just raised the game. My friend says we're doing a 90 day challenge, and is saying they're going to beat/own me on this. haha. I am definitely confident I can...
