30 Day 80/10/10 RV, Day 9: Messing Up

FOOD

Bananas for breakfast, organic valencias for lunch. And nothing i'm proud of for dinner.

EXERCISE

Bicycled 9 miles, including several miles of just going up and down a local hill. I was trying to make myself tired, and it just wasn't happening. It took about 15 minutes of going up a hill as fast as possible to make myself even remotely tired, and i was far from exhausted. Even though i have messed up a few times over this week, my energy and athletic ability have still increased.

THE WORST TEMPTATION

I have gotten better at avoiding temptation while at work. I have gotten better at walking through the grocery store and skipping straight to the produce aisle. I have gotten to the point where, when i do mess up, i still eat vegan, it just might be cooked or oily. But it doesn't help that my girlfriend is choosing NOT to follow this same path. I still love her, but it makes things more difficult for me. The refrigerator is filled with foods that i don't view as food, yet somehow still tempt me.

Today, it was hummus and pita bread. The hummus was oil free, and not the worst hummus out there, but still not an optimized, high water content, fast digesting meal, like what i'm trying to gravitate towards. Now, i have acid indigestion and i woke up from my sleep prematurely. I'm not happy with that meal choice.

This is the one last, and worst temptation. If i lived alone, i would throw away all tempting foods in my house. The foods just keep showing back up next time we go shopping! If anything is going to stop me on this journey, it will be her. I just keep thinking that if i can continue down this path long enough, maybe she will want to join me. But for now, her habits are getting frustrating.

NEGATIVITY

I'm getting meaner to myself lately in my head, and i don't see that as a good thing. Despite messing up several times, i do see that there is progress. I've seen so many YouTube videos of 80/10/10/fruitarian people who have been on this path for years, and seemingly changed overnight, and they make it look so easy. I have spent 30 years eating, for social reasons, for entertainment, as a drug, as a boredom cure, and for so many other reasons. It's harder than i thought to break 30 years of habits, and i've been working on it for months now. I'm just trying to remind myself that i'll get there, as long as i stay on the path. But sometimes i want to say mean things to myself when i mess up, and that's not really helping right now. That's not a detail about myself i admit to easily, by the way, but it is what is, so i wanted to be honest about it. Hopefully that improves as i attain more results.

ONE GOOD POINT

I love it when people notice and mention my progress. Today it was a manager at one of the stores i deliver to. She said "wow, you've lost a lot of weight" I told her about how i just eat fruits and vegetables now. She said "Oh, good to hear it, i was afraid you might have been sick or something." haha, i guess rapid weight loss is kind of rare in America.

Morning Weight: 204

Cycled: 9 miles

So far: 40

Left for goal: 210

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Comment by Greenmama on June 20, 2012 at 2:02pm: I've seen so many YouTube videos of 80/10/10/fruitarian people who have been on this path for years, and seemingly changed overnight, and they make it look so easy.

I hear ya. You know, Kristina Carrillo-Bucaram and I started out on this lifestyle at the same time and she has been fully raw for 6-7 years and I have not even been close.

I know what you mean about being mean to yourself in your head, and you are right, it does not help anything at all. I love how you were honest about it but also came around and celebrated all your successes so far. It's o.k. to get down when you eat something you aren't proud of, just don't put all your focus there. The more progress you see, the more there will be!

Comment by Rocbola on June 20, 2012 at 11:23am: Thank you both for your responses! I felt a lot better today, and i tried to focus on all the ways that i had improved over the last four months, instead of my shortcomings. I never felt guilty over eating something until i committed to fully raw for a month, and didn't make 100%. The food that i ate wasn't the worst thing i could have had, but i gave a commitment and broke it, and that was what really brought on the bad feelings. Overall, i have made progress, even in the last week, and i am happy for it.

I am confident that eventually my girlfriend will eat better. It was my old SAD way of eating that rubbed off on her, and made her unhealthy. I feel like it is my duty now to first help myself out of the mess that SAD eating causes, and then help her develop better habits. She is making progress, she always includes fruits and veggies in her day, and she didn't always.

I have challenged her to eating 80/10/10 a few times, and she always says that when her current groceries run out, she will buy better food next time. She enjoys the hobby of cooking, too, and she has expressed that she doesn't want to go raw, but she is open to exploring more cooked vegan dishes.

One step at a time, i guess.

Comment by Whitedi ellen on June 20, 2012 at 4:45am: Hey that's ok Rocbola it's just par for the course. Take a deep breath and know you are on the road to health. Hey make yourself a great salad for tonights dinner. Don't beat yourself up when you find you've eaten somthing not raw. Knowing that it's still vegan cooked is way ahead of the game. You'll be fine. Perhaps your wife will come along later seeing how this lifestyle is making positive changes for you. I've been known to have sweet potatoes or fat free vegan beans along side a lovely salad and it hasn't shamed me. Remember this is about moving in the direction of sound and healthful living...not torturing yourself. give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it!