100% Raw May Challenge - May 17th
SLEEP - 8:45? - 4:50 with one toilet break in between.
I was in bed at 7:00 but still on the Internet at 8:35. Woke up tired but I didn't want to go back to sleep, just wanted to sit in the warm shower and slowly wake up.
Meal 1: 550 cals (fruit cals only): 8 new season local oranges :) but they seemed a little unripe still so I hit the greens afterwards with a bunch of pak choy leaves.
Meal 2: 1100 cals: 15 fresh medjool dates with 4 fuji apples
Meal 3: 1600 cals (fruit cals only): 6 small whole bananas followed by a smoothie with 7 small bananas, 500ml fresh juiced red apple juice and 500ml fresh juiced celery juice
Total fruit cals approx. 3250
899g carbs (96%), 41g protein (4%), 8g fat (2%) (fat for the week now down to 7%)
WATER - 5.5 litres (22 cups)
Planned exercise: none
Incidental exercise: Approx. 60min bike riding commuting to work and then to beach and around marina + a little swinging
SUN - tiny bit through the clouds
MENTAL CLARITY/STRESS - great clarity, moderate stress
OTHER THOUGHTS -
Today was such a weird day. It was like the opposite of yesterday. Yesterday in the morning I had heaps of positive energy and then negative energy all afternoon. This morning I couldn't focus on anything much positive, I almost broke down in tears a couple of times during work, but seemingly kept it together. Then this arvo I've been filled with positive energy and I'm so inspired to write :)
It was a quite afternoon in the cafe, so I pulled up a chair next to the freezer and used it as my desk. Checked my emails and one of them was a notification that I had gotten a msg from a 30bad friend. I sat and wrote my lengthy reply and was able to pass on some (hopefully helpful) advice that had been given to me.
After I sent the email Gail had completely cleaned up the cafe for me, besides one little task. I was so grateful and realized I had the rest of the somewhat sunny arvo to do as I pleased! I was quickly inspired by the words I had just written to my friend and decided it must be beach time!
Quickly getting changed and finishing off the last bit of clean up, I head out into the sunshine. It seems like the sun is setting early but it's just the clouds out hiding the sun. I put the pedal to the concrete and step on it. I wanna make this ride really burn. Work up that hunger which has been missing over the last couple of days. During the ride, I'm coaching myself, getting myself back into that positive energy. Making sure I'm taking my own advice, putting myself and my health first. I know what that takes now. Dedication. Determination. A hunger to get better. I'm now flying across the pavement, telling myself how hungry I am. If I believe it, then it's true. So the more I tell myself I'm hungry the more I believe it. The opposite is also true. No wonder I've had no appetite lately, I keep telling myself how sick I am of bananas. I'm so glad I've had his breakthrough coz now I'm thinking, "wow, imagine all the banana smoothie combinations I could come up with!"
Arriving at the beach, I waste no time getting into the freezing cold water. I want to swim out far and back but instead I get into the water and feel such a sense of peacefulness that I just want to float. Diving under the waves feels like bliss, even though it is so cold, the sensation always transports me back to Mossman (TNQ) and swimming in the beautiful river. So many happy memories.
Floating peacefully, I slow my breathing and use a mantra to try clear my head. Focusing on my breath, in and out, I-Am Here-Now All-Loving. I still have a few thoughts but I try not to beat myself up. Just acknowledge them and then refocus on my breath. I think I lasted a couple of minutes. That's really good for me, usually it's about 15 seconds and I'm off on a thought tangent.
The waves are a little rough so I stand upright but can't touch the bottom. Diving under, I swim towards the blocked out sun. Slowly I make my way into shore. The clouds are hiding the sun's rays from me but they are making stunning patterns across the sky. Im smiling. Knowing that beauty is all around. Knowing it's all in perfect timing. Stop worrying. I don't need to stress. I have everything I need. If I need something else, it will come. In perfect timing. If I want something, focus on that. It will happen. In perfect timing.
I grab my towel and drink bottle and turn to take in the ocean once more. I keep telling myself, 'All in perfect timing.'
Wrapping myself up and tying up my hair, I grab my backpack and walk calmly to my bike. Getting changed 'Mr Bean' style (that one's for you durifran :D), I'm still smiling. I start riding towards the cafe but just as I start the bells signal for the train crossing. The train is on it's way but it takes a good 5 minutes before the gate opens back up so I decide to go for an extra ride down around the marina. All in perfect timing, I tell myself again as I realize it's just another way for me to work up an appetite.
By the time I get back from riding around the marina the bells have stopped and the gate is open to cross over the train tracks. I speed towards the cafe, stopping, of course, for a swing.
I'm by myself at the swing set today, except for the birds. They are magical, singing and dancing around the trees for me. Still smiling, I push further, higher and faster, making a quick 5 minute workout out of swinging. It's really good for my arms and quads. Letting myself soar back and forth, I'm once again reminded of how beautiful life is. This is who I want to be. This is me. Happy. I'm reminded of my blog post in January. I had just come back from TNQ and I was filled with positive energy, peace and inspiration. So many happy memories.
Getting on my bike, I make the last mad dash back to the cafe. I'm pounding my legs, like yesterday except today I'm not getting soaked by the rain. I imagine getting soaked again to push myself harder, faster.
Back at the cafe I drink another liter of water and coach myself into the 1500 cal meal. I did it! I will at least have made it past 3000 cals for today.
Tomorrow I'm going to be so hungry I'll eat 4000 cals :)