Hi all thanks for being here!!!
I need some helpfull advice and I need it fast please!!
im 811 for quite a while now/few months strictly but recoverying (attemting to) from anorexia/bullimia/ED etc
so been undereating alot!!!
I posted about deciding to eat a week or two ago and I have been attempting to increase calories but keep getting stuck for a few reasons.
1) Getting enough ripe fruit at the super market- im in england and have difficulty purchasing ripe fruit- also difficulty buying in quantity larger than a little because of worries of wastage etc
2) being overfaced by quantities
3) struggles with health/pain- I feel a lot of pain in my body when eating cirtain things and I am still working out what they are etc.
A- bananas- they are a huge culprit im sure, which leads me to starch, which makes me frightened of eating, ANYTHING!!!
I have to eat them when they have caramalised inside and feel soft on the outside before pealing I think, basically the skin is black before I will peel it.
but now im worried about fermentation!!
and buying anymore to ripen incase it turns out I cant have them at all and then- lots of wastage!!!!
Also my uncle (i am staying with family at pressent as was declinig in health and well being on my own) is upset when food is wasted, I have had to hide!!! things in the compost to avoid being berated or feeling to blame for his upset also eaten some stuff past its best to keep him happy really and suffered for it, physically and emotionally!!
back to bananas- COST- they are a more readilly available and affordable fruit anywhere.
I dont know what to eat,
I feel raelly restricted because 1a)I dont like, enjoy many fruits/ food in general
2a) i have had many pain and digestive simptoms from eating the more commonly available fruits sutch as;
the list goes on
oh- citrus too
so restrictions a pleanty or so it seems im afraid, unfortunately.
im experimenting with mellons, persimons, bananas and berries at the moment and will try apples again a bit soon but frightened,
some of the symptoms include,
costipation/diarea, heart burn (imensley so), bloating, odd sensations in hips and stomache, itchy/pricklyskin- feels hot and cold at the same time, difficult to explain. odd sensations in arms, hands, legs and feet like having a turniquay somewhere constricting flow I think hard for me to explain sensations really vast and varying like nothing i can liken them too, soory, whish i could. but one of the majour fear factors involved are the pains in my knees and legs, muscles and joints, like a restrictive burning, squeezing or aching sensation feels like my feel are filling with something hands ache and have a mirriad of sensations this often comes whith the itchy/prikily heat kind a skin feeling especially the knwws and backs of the legs. this occured after eating some under ripe bananas even though the skin was almost BLACK!!!!
i dont ger it!? STARCH? ASTRINGENCY? whats going on, is it my liver struggling? any advice please?
3a) How to tell if the produc?e- bananas and other fruit is perfectly ripe. for me, as it seems to need to be really well done!! without spoiling- again.
4a)how much to buy for a week and how offten to do it? im attempting to go up to 1500 cals a day at the moment, hitting bellow that though because of the psychological/emotional/obssesive complications of the disease.
as well as the above mentioned issues.
So what can I do tho improve the situation?
Any ideas?- please please HELP!!!!
PS anyone relate to this?, the pain stuff mainly, any recovering anorexics who can hlelp?