Single and empowered

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Permalink Reply by Chris Califano on April 30, 2012 at 2:40am

Allison you're not "missing" anything. As you have evolved, and this diet proves what an evolved person you are, you become more selective with those you choose to spend precious life with. I truly wonder how many men and women are just "in a relationship" to quench their insecurity and loneliness. Is their "boredom" perhaps contributed to a little by the fact that they may be... ummm... "boring"?.. we all know the answer. Or it may be an easy one: some men simply can't cook!!! lol.

Permalink Reply by Chris Califano on April 30, 2012 at 2:28am

I've got such a terrific core of friends that I do not know what single means. I've dated. I've been maried. I was with the same woman for almost 20 years. It ended "well" in terms of us being totally mature and not hurting one another, but then, I would never get serious about anyone that I had any doubts about in the first place, nor would I use any facet of any relationship to gain power or take advantage of a person (and I get what I give, fortunately).

But I know what you mean. Been there done that. Now every season is empowering. Don't worry. Your still a baby. All will work out. Just make sure "to thine own self be true" no matter what and you will always be happy. And be on the lookout. Don't get involved with ANYone for any reason when you suspect even the slightest "hurtfulness" to them... trust your gut! On this diet it is well developed and sensitive beyond what you can imagine! 

"Trust yourself and you will know how to live" ---"Goethe"

Permalink Reply by Dezi on May 1, 2012 at 5:23am

I find it difficult to stay away from dating and relationship mainly because I dont think I have a good circle  of friends. If I could have a great group of friends it would be very easy. I hope I can find something good, especially as I will be going into nursing in the fall. 

Permalink Reply by Casey on May 1, 2012 at 3:00pm

A lot of people in relationships tend to be controlling, even if they're not conscious of it.  That isn't just by the dominant party, but goes either way.  Most often in today's world, this goes both ways (though not usually in balance), which is why so many relationships fail or simply are not very close/loving if they are sustained.

Occasionally, it's more of a one-way thing, and these relationships can last a long time, though it's terribly disbalanced and generally leads to either some form of abuse or the previously-described type of relationship..  It simply isn't fair for only one person to give love unconditionally and the other to make all sorts of conditions.

For a relationship to be really truly successful, each person must feel that they are both free to be themselves and loved unconditionally for who they are.  Neither party feels any need to control the other, because both fully respect and would do anything for one another.  Yet neither takes advantage of the other's vulnerability or places expectations/demands upon them.

The sad part is that many relationships look like the best type when they first start - two people rush in with open hearts feeling fully willing to give that sort of love.  But it isn't solid enough, and somebody ends up feeling disappointed with the other, and then the control starts, and unless immediately dissolved every time the mind creates such a thought, things deteriorate into one of the above, and usually never come back.  Though if there are two people with strong intention to make things work, with the capacity to forgive and fully re-open their hearts, they can.

Whether the ending is good or bad, if you're leaving a relationship where you couldn't fully love, then yes I think you'll feel relieved and/or empowered.  On the other hand if you are coming out of a relationship where you were able to fully love even if you did not receive this in return, it can feel like a terrible loss.  And if you've got a relationship where both fully love one another, I don't think anything but dire circumstance can end it.

I don't much care for being single honestly, but it's a whole lot better than a lousy relationship.