VEGANS: Modern Day Witches!
VEGANS: Modern Day Witches!
Sermon by Brother Harry Hardwick,
Friends, you needn’t be nostalgic for your mind to occasionally wander back to a better time - a time when the world was far less complicated, when morality reigned supreme, when life was just a whole lot easier and more care-free. I am, of course, referring to the late 1600’s.
Lucifer was easier to spot back in those days even though the people were simple-minded - even more simple-minded than the current American public when it comes to justifications for war. Satan’s minions were easy to locate. They looked, acted and spoke differently than anyone else.
Their slimy, pickle-colored, wart-ridden skin, enormous noses and jutting chins, web-like, matted hair and sickly demeanor led folks to know instantly what they were -- witches! Front porch cauldrons of bubbling fluid containing the most disgusting insects and rodents imaginable made the home of a witch easy to locate.
And the incessant rhyming of incantations made the voice of a witch easy to identify, particularly since there were no rap singers back then. A True Christian™ could spot a witch a mile away. An even better Christian could strike one with a flaming arrow from the same distance. All it took was a few wooden stakes, some rope and a torch, and the devil was defeated for yet another day.
Things aren’t so simple any more. Witches have learned a lot since the days of the Puritans. They’ve learned that if they show their hideous faces in public, it won’t just be their warts we burn off. So, they’ve had to go undercover in their efforts to recruit the weak-willed to the service of their master in Hell.
To induce these naïve innocents to join their filthy cult, they have been forced to come up with a politically correct justification for their association. They have had to conceal the real purpose of their late-night meetings, when they cast spells on the vulnerable, brew hideous potions, and sacrifice infants to the devil.
They have had to come up with a modern message that will be attractive to the weak-kneed while not raising the ire of True Christians™ that much. That message is called “vegetarianism.” Today’s witches are called “vegans.”
One needn’t look any further than Christ’s words to see that so-called “vegans” are nothing more than sorcerers and demons, mocking God while spitting on His Son’s final supper. They know God loves meat and has ordered us to eat as much of it as we can. So they poke fun at the Lord with slogans like “Meat is murder” and by insisting their members abstain from consuming anything that comes from an animal. Jesus warned us about these diabolical cretins.
Turn your Bibles to First Timothy, chapter 4, verses 1 through 3 and recite along with me:
I don’t know how Jesus could have warned us any more directly about these devils. They try to hide behind phrases like “animal lover” and “animal rights advocate.” That is devil-speak if I ever heard it! The Bible makes clear that God created animals for one purpose only - our nutritional and intestinal satisfaction. Just as God created woman solely to be the servant of man, meaning women are to obey their husbands at all times, keep their mouths shut in church and never teach (1 Timothy 2:11-15; Ephesians 5:22-24), so, too, God created animals so we would have something to fill our stomachs with after a hard day’s work.
God told us long before He used Mary to incubate His son: “Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you” (Genesis 9:3). Every moving thing - not just the ugly ones, not just the dumb ones, like chickens and fish. Every living thing. The most beautiful fawn, the most prized heifer, the most graceful swan, the cutest bunny rabbit. According to God, they’re all nothing more than sausage fodder!
When the apostle, Peter, woke up hungry, what did God give him to eat? Not a pansy platter of carrot sticks, lettuce leaves and orange slices. He gave him every type of four-footed beast on the earth and every fowl of the air, telling him, “Rise, Peter, kill, and eat” (Acts 10:9-13).
When Cain and Abel offered gifts to the Lord, Abel gave the Lord the fat he cut off the hides of his flock whereas Cain gave the Lord a fruit and vegetable tray. The Lord loved Abel’s offering of something that would stick to His holy ribs and despised Cain’s lesser offering of mere produce.
Cain became jealous and murdered the brother with the superior gift-giving eye (Genesis 4:3-8). This was the first, but my no means the last, human murder committed by these vegans a/k/a witches a/k/a wiccans.
But add another a/k/a to that list - homos. You see, veganism offers a place of solace for sodomites every bit as attractive as a Catholic confessional. Fruits and vegetables are what housewives and sissies on Weight Watchers eat, whereas meat, cheese and butter are what real men eat. If every meal you eat doesn’t contain something that lives in, or comes out of something that lives in, a barn, you aren’t a real man.
Jesus warned us that the men who would one day call themselves “vegans” are nothing more than nancy-boys looking for refuge somewhere. “For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs” (Romans 14:2). Just take a look at these losers - thin as a rail, pale as a ghost. The kind of men we used to beat up every day at school. If you asked any one of them, he would probably admit he supports feminism. The only protein these marys consume was created for a completely different purpose, the misuse of which is precisely what got Onan struck dead by God.
Watch out for these witches and fairies, my friends, for in today’s world of ailing morality, they are everywhere. They protest outside leather shops. They ruin other people’s valuable winter coats by hurling buckets of blood on unsuspecting ladies. And they try to destroy the cattle industry with their left-wing talk shows. If you spot one of these demons, detain it and, when you’re through roasting that side of beef you’re having for dinner, replace that meat on the skewer with the heathen, and help restore a long-missed moral tradition.
all i can do is LOL at this idiot.....where should one begin? I find it hard to even want to fight or spew forth any hatred ...i just have pity for such folks and more for those who blindly follow,,,,,
karma has marked him for termination
I think this guy is trying to be a comedian. I can't imagine where any of those beliefs originated from if they are genuine.
The bible verses are taken completely out of context. It's actually advocated to be at least a vegetarian in the bible.
He's a wolf in sheep's clothing whether or not he knows it. There are many out there. Apparently many so-called pastors in big and some small American churches are actually spying on their congregation's for the government; and teaching garbage like this. It's terrible.
The worst thing is people see men like this and think they're teaching what the bible says when it's far from it.
After watching some other videos of his I am 100% sure he is a comedian.
Here's an example. 100% joke :P
hahahahaha - laughed myself off my broom stick.
I've come across these guys several times before. They're a satirical and fictional cult. They seem very convincing, however! Think that's the idea.
Free speech is a wonderful thing, but sometimes I wonder about the vessel from which it comes.
This man and his eating meat for the lord has given him a big beach ball of a head. Just look at the swelling in that face. What a sad lost soul.
Well, he could probably be eating better, but just don't forget that it really is just satire. Landover baptists are fictional. Wiki it. Also, there's a Youtube video where he's "lecturing" to a group of delighted atheists and they're all laughing hysterically and you can tell he's trying to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing as well as he puts on his show. They just adored him.
A lot of Christians are calling him a sinner because he mocks their religion. And he is indeed doing just that....
I couldn't believe that this was real, so I'm glad to hear that it's satire. Although that guy does look really unhealthy...
oh my!!! reading the title, I was slightly annoyed. after reading the rest, I couldn't help but crack up! this is priceless!!! I want to copy/ paste this everywhere. like someone mentioned below, KARMA!
whooops it's satire. haha. I was convinced! glad it's not real....