30 Bananas a Day!

Feel like I'm at an AA meeting but I needed to get this out. I was raw 7 days straight and moved beyond the detox and was feeling good. Was urinating a lot especially at night which bugged but waking up alive and hopeful. Well I took my wife to the Phillies home opener today and I brought some dates but I wanted to cheat. I bought a vegan dog and a garden burger. After the game we went to Tone Luke's and I got her a cheese steak some fries and a soda. I had some of the fries a couple sips of her soda and half the cheese steak. I came home and immediately had headaches and a sick feeling. I ate a bunch of baby carrots knowing that they help detoxify. After that I had a couple handfuls of chocolate covered berries. Now Im battling huge depression and feel just terrible. I know what I did was wrong and feel my last weeks work was all in vain. Has anyone else fell off the wagon and felt this way if so how can I recover and what can I expect another detox period?

Tags: Relapse, depression, newbie

Views: 134

Replies to This Discussion

Hey...Don't beat yourself up...Look how good you did for a whole week!!! It's what you do MOST of the time that makes a difference! Take a DEEP BREATH and start again with a happy heart! This is Your Journey...You are going to be okay my friend!  ;)

Thank you for sharing Jm........Now get back on that horse and ride little buddy....No harm no foul..dont beat your self up..Use the experience to make you stronger and to help someone else who struggles the way you do...thank you for your transparency....You can do this thing....I believe in you!!!

JM, I expect and think of my raw journey as 2 steps forward and 1 back.  When I think that way I hand over the perfectionistic attitude and with it comes softer falls when they happen.  I'm not trying to go 100% RV this time because I know I always end up in a heap when I 'fall off'.  instead I'm being gentle with myself.  If I feel a need for a bit of cooked vegan at night I have it.  I figure if I'm 95% raw the rest of the day that's a massive improvement on 100% cooked and junk food!  
Be easy on yourself.  Doing this diet is like swimming against a massive torrent of societal bad habits.  You are amazing for having achieved a whole week on raw!  It doesn't have to be all or nothing.  Maybe you could just ease back by eating raw for 1/2-3/4 of the day and then at some point you'll want to replace more and more.

Don't beat yourself up - it's the worst thing you can do.  

JM,

It takes courage to share the exact nature of your relapse, especially with the temptation we all feel to prove ourselves.

Yes, I have fallen off raw majorly about 5 times (as in total crash and burn) and minorly (as in small cheats and then pick myself right back up again) a number of times (a number larger than 5...).

In the crash, the state of desire has the ability to make us forget what it is we're about to put into our bodies, and why it is we want to leave it. We're only after the taste.

You know what I've found? The longer and longer one sustains raw, the less and less flavorful cooked foods are. It's like there is nothing you can do to them to make them flavorful or satisfying. They are missing Life, and what could possibly replace Life??

As to your question about detox, do you mean the uncomfortable reactions of cleansing? You may very likely not feel them again. It's not like you have to start over from scratch; you're a little cleaner this time!

But when will you start feeling great again? As soon as you return to raw, my friend.

Best wishes on your journey! There is strength in your honesty, and I greatly admire that!

Tania

P.S. During the gentle state of detoxing and cleansing, it is important to be as nurturing as a parent is to a newborn baby, or like a tender bud attempting to flower, which will never blossom in the wrong conditions. How could I put it delicately...stay away from Philly cheesesteak joints!!

= )

Sounds like you're trying to make some huge leaps! And I respect that, but in the effort of you being successfully, this lifestyle change must be gradual.
Try being vegetarian and not stressing so much about raw Vegan at first. It takes tome for the people around you to adjust to your new habits and making gradual changes has in my life allowed me to get a feel for the environment and what was safe. Watch online movies like 'earthlings' for motivation, and decide if you are ready to be the change you wanna see. You are loved either way!! It's ok to give in because it is human, but I suspect you would feel less guilty and less pressure to eat the standard American diet.
Depression is tough. I think you will pull through. My raw vegan transition put me on an emotional roller coaster, and I was transitioning from vegan to raw...(much smaller a leap IMO)
Marshall Rosenberg has an interesting take on depression and it's centered around Compassionate communication(aka NVC non violent communication) dig around YouTube and while you're there look at some of Tim'ss videos you can find him by searching runningraw.
~with warm regards, M
Yes,many times. Don't waste energy on depression. Just restart with the next thing you put in your mouth. Meat and other things like it are very addicting to some people. One thing triggers another. After that first detox, you may have periods where you have smaller detox. You may have to avoid events that trigger that behavior. I could not go to a movie because of the snacks I wanted to eat the snacks. There was a shopping center I avoided because they sold ice cream. It gets better.

do not beat yourself up....nobody is perfect and most start off with slip ups - 

just start over today/tomorrow...put your mind back to why you are doing it - 

for health...etc...write it down - tell yourself everyday - all day if necessary, why you want to eat this clean and healthy way

keep your mind in the positives...if negative thoughts present themselves..."pop" them out of your mind and have a positive affirmations to replace it!!

do the best you can do -

Hey Bro, stop beating yourself up. Ive been on the wagon for 3 weeks and have fell off a couple of times but no big deal. Its a transition period. Don't you think its really neat that you are acknowledging how physically bad you feel after eating the other crap. When it happens to me I try and feel every horrible sensation that bit of food created and try to remember that feeling next time Im tempted by my old ways. They are pretty deeply imbedded habits we have with food. we are addicted mentally and physically and we need to accept that it will take some time to over come these addictions. Hang in there Bro and keep moving forward one step at a time. All is good.

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