I'm joining Overeaters Anonymous as a direct result of struggling and failing so much. I've tried so very hard to carb-up to an extreme and eating lots and lots of fruit, huge amounts- yet I'm still dealing with out-on-control binge eating at nighttime. I am so sick of it. I need more help than what my measly willpower can muster up. So, I'm combining raw veganism with 12 step recovery. I'm five foot 3 and stuck at 200 pounds. I've actually managed to put on a substantial amount of weight since becoming mostly raw. The more I've tried to control my eating, the more it's exploded out of control. How embarrassing!
I'm doing a lot of proactive things right now too, like going to water aerobics and swimming, and starting a meditation practice. I made it through a yoga class without hurting myself!
I've been resistant to weighing and measuring my food in-take and I'm wondering if the time has come to do that. I really do want to get healthy and stop being hounded by food demons. I'm very open to suggestions/feedback/tough love etc.!
I can totally relate to this completely!! I too am having the same problem. I am 5'6" and weigh 264. I do really great during the day and then once evening hits I binge. I am totally adding you as a friend. I too thought about the 12 step recovery program as every time I recover from one addiction I always go back to food. I thought I was alone in these habits and feelings. Nice to meet you.
Yeah Nichole! I'm a 8-year member of AA. I'm still sorting out my sensitive chemistry! I really look forward to getting to know you!
One thing I'm doing is listening to an OA meeting on the phone. It's very early in the morning on the east coast and I don't listen to it live. It's called the coffee shop, I could forward the number to you if you'd like. I listen to it while I walk my dog and clean my home. It kinda charges up my spiritual battery and surprisingly helps. I'm only averaging one meeting a week but I want to get to at least three. and, gosh, I don't want to get a sponsor, but I better do things how they're laid out!
Yes please forward me the number. I would love to listen in. Thank you so much!
Hello, you could do as you suggested and perhaps Group Therapy through your Health Plan if you have one because that would be a smaller, more intimate group of people who would share like problems and help support one another. If you don't have a health plan maybe you could put an ad in your local paper that you want to begin a group of this sort and have the meeting place somewhere safe such as a local library; they have meeting rooms that can be signed up for. Good luck and prayers. :)
thanks! I'm hoping to meet my needs through OA and 30bad and also my spiritual life.
I'm lucky that OA is healthy in Portland.
Unfortunately, I too can fully relate to your problem. I went 6 weeks good as gold with a 3 week water fast and then 3 weeks after being very good to start and then overdoing the good stuff towards the end of that period. I then relented and went out with my wife for a pub lunch and wound up having a less than ideal meal just to be sociable and from there, I started bingeing again. I am very good during the day although I can be tempted by certain types of unhealthy snacks if I'm out but in the evening, if there's anything in the house, I can convince myself that I'll just give in today but starting tomorrow, I'll be back on track. Here I am 4 weeks later still telling myself that tonight is the last night of snacking!
I really don't know where the will power has gone but I do know that it's easier to eat healthier when we're surrounded by other people who follow the same healthy diet lifestyle. Any group that will give you that support will be an advantage.
As far as weighing and measuring, I started doing that to prove to myself and others that I am getting sufficient calories. My problem for many years has been looking emaciated despite eating like a horse even but I realised that some days I wasn't getting sufficient calories even with the junk food added in so measuring on a daily basis for a few weeks helped give me the confidence that my meal plans were sufficient.
You might benefit from auditing your intake for a few days to be sure that you're getting enough healthy food.
Best wishes for your journey,
Hi Lori and John and everyone,
I'm glad I was brave and posted this- it's kinda embarrassing, you know! The thing is I know my problems are experienced by so very many people who just give up on raw veganism.
I am going to start tracking my fruit intake to make sure the carbs are sufficient and that I'm not inadvertently self-sabotaging myself.
no kidding! sucks being human!
Seriously, at least we're not giving up!
One thing you might play with is to keep a food diary. Not so much to track what you've been eating, but to track what you are feeling. Before you have a meal or a snack, write down in your food diary how you are feeling emotionally and physically. After you eat your meal, then write down what you are feeling both emotionally and physically. After you do this for awhile, see if you can find a pattern in what you are feeling when you overeat.
Hi Prana, yes, thank you, I agree that is a good idea- learning to observe my emotions, although it feels like diving into a jar of writing tapeworms.......
Really relate to your history too, Dovima. Even the OA experience, which I have had in my past. What I've noticed with my raw food experience is that I can maintain really high raw (85%-98%) really well for extended periods of time but as soon as I say "Right! Time to go 100%" that's when the wheels fall off the wagon. There is something about being perfect in there that doesn't seem to sit well with my head. I can do 100% for about 4 days and then I start eating whatever is in front of me, which just doesn't happen if just allow myself a little bit of cooked at night. Interesting...
Regarding OA - you may have a different experience than me - but sponsors are generally fairly conservative with food plans and you may find it hard to find someone who is willing to support you in your raw food choices. Sponsors can only share the experience they have and I haven't met one that has successful raw food diet experience. If you find one let me know - because I would be very interested in talking to them! Having said that I love 12 steps for the inward focus it gives you (spiritual I mean, not self-obsession).
Anyway, good luck in your journey - I think the feelings journal's a great idea.
Hi dandelion, I know what you mean about sponsors being conservative with food plans, and they have the right to be and at the same time there is a pamphlet published by OA that is a major precept that says people have the right to choose their own food plan. I know a woman who lost over 100 pounds not giving up sugar or white flour, but by giving up overeating itself.
I think there is a huge, huge need for raw vegans to have a voice with-in this structure, and I don't mean to promote veganism- that's not appropriate for what this organization is about, but that when OA says people have the right to choose to their own food plan, that they really do have the freedom to choose to do that. OA needs to keep growing in that area. Some sponsors tell their spondees to go to a nutritionist or doctor to get a food plan and it's not hard to find one that will support a raw vegan food plan. I bet there are nutritionists here on this site.
But really a lot of sponsors don't regulate their sponsees food plans at all; they guide them through the step work. There is an organization with-in OA called HOW, which stands for honesty, openmindness and willingness. It's a great program for people who need it, often folks who are morbidly obese and/or vicious binge eaters. It's more structured than general OA. People get a food plan from a doctor or nutritionist, committ to following a daily menu, weigh and measure their food and follow suggestions like calling their sponsor every day. I know this might sound foreign to an average eater but it's a huge relief and support for someone who is grossly out of control.
I've seen hundreds of people want to become raw vegans and not be able to sustain the food plan and fall back into compulsively eating junk food. I'm really clear that OA is not there to support one type of meal plan, and I'm really glad. I'm on a Facebook page for women with eating disorders who want to eat a raw diet, and the three experts discourage others from eating too much fruit. Great..... I could broaden the horizons and pave the way for other raw vegans to come in and find some space for healing.
It's just harder for some of us! Look how hotly debated it has been on this board. So many people contest it's just a matter of eating enough fruit, countered by another pool of people who say they eat thousands of calories of fruit and they still compulsively eat junk on top of that. In a few different raw vegan communities, when the subject of OA has come up, I was disappointed at how many people put it down. But I understand that a lot of people don't understand. There's an epidemic of obesity out there. Anyway we can find to overcome that is to be commended.