How to eat in front of others?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ya Mei Wolff-Smith on June 17, 2012 at 6:51pm

Thanks so much for the input! I guess when communicating with friends and/or family members "less is more". Being simple, straight-foward, and determined is the way to go. I'm hoping that by committing to this LFRV lifestyle, many positive health changes will occur (no more binging or depressive states, face clearing up, weight loss, painless periods, strength and energy gained...); and as a result, close family and friends might be encouraged to do the same! :) Once again, thanks for the insight; it's much appreciated! 

Permalink Reply by Amber Michelle on June 17, 2012 at 2:54pm

1. I would just be honest with them. I wouldn't necessarily run around advertising it at first, but if/when it does come up, I'd just tell them, "I'm following a LFRV lifestyle now." I like to use the word "lifestyle" more so than "diet" because it really is a lifestyle, not just some fad diet you're doing for 2 weeks, and also because I think people take it more seriously that way. If someone offers you something you won't eat now like meat or dairy products, just politely say, "No, thanks." If people ask about it, just explain what you have learned about it, and if anyone has a problem with it, remember that is THEIR problem, not yours. The more confident you are about it, the more people will respect that and back off. Also, you can lead by a positive example. If, after awhile on LFRV, you start to look really great & healthy and have lots of energy, people will question the lifestyle less and you may even inspire someone to go vegan.

2. Restaurants can be a bit tricky, depending on where you're at. I always try to look up the menu for a restaurant online if I know in advance that I'll be going there. That way you can see ahead of time what the place offers and what you're working with. I suggest eating fruit before you go-a decent amount. At most places, you can probably at least order a salad, although you may need to bring your own dressing. I generally try to avoid going to restaurants that won't be able to cater to me, though. Do not worry about appearing outlandish or weird. Ordering a salad is fairly common. If there are issues or the lifestyle does come up and it's a little awkward, remind yourself why you started this and that you're the one who will be in SO much better shape than those eating dead animals and processed junk. Again, if someone has a problem with it, that is THEIR problem.

3. This one I don't have as much to say on, since I didn't start this lifestyle until after I was finished with college. However, you can always keep lots of bananas around. I don't know if you're in a dorm or live at home and just commute to school, but if you keep plenty of fruit around, that should make this lifestyle easier for you, even at school.

Permalink Reply by Ya Mei Wolff-Smith on June 17, 2012 at 6:46pm

Thank you so much for the advice! I was wondering whether I should tell my parents straight away that I had drastically changed my eating habits; however, as you said, "advertising" this LFRV lifestyle is probably not the best idea (especially since I've only just started). Instead, I should practice BEFORE I preach. Also, I'm sorry I forgot to mention that I will be in a dorm this coming semester with two other girls that I do not know...

Permalink Reply by Chris on June 18, 2012 at 7:35am

1) How do I eat in public

The same way you eat at home. Eat healthy. You eat what you are- one who benefits from phytonutrients found in plants (regardless of social sanctions).

with friends and family who consume meat and dairy on a daily basis (and who may or may not approve of my change in diet)?

Friends don't make friends consume meat. Real friends and family back off on imposing the social sanctions and will understand improved digestion and overall health from berries and lettuce if they are willing to look critically at the available research or adopt a healthy diet, themselves. At first it may take some explaining on your part to defend your healthy and natural diet choices. You are going against the current and you are certainly not imagining the social and political resistance out there.

For instance, what do I tell them when they notice me not eating the foods that I used to like meat, dairy, oils, grains, etc.

Politely inform them that you are adopting a diet that minimizes your chances of acquiring the mostly preventable diseases that have become rampant. Perhaps you have someone in your family (as virtually everyone does today), who has been afflicted with some digestive condition, tumor, chronic congestion, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. Someone in the group would be able to relate to this and understand (if willing).

But often the response to this from a group member resemble: "Well I want to enjoy my life while I'm here so I'm going to eat what I enjoy."

But many young and/or naive people who are neither experienced with exclusionary diets to comprehend the difference or have not been touched by diseases of affluence are oblivious to the fact that life expectancy does correlate with health expectancy and to be healthy is to enjoy life as healthy people or animals with healthy diets don't suddenly die (aside from catastrophes or accidents unrelated to diet). “Elderly persons in better health had a longer life expectancy than those in poorer health... A person with no functional limitation at 70 years of age had a life expectancy of 14.3 years and a person with a limitation in at least one activity of daily living had a life expectancy of 11.6 years.” (Lubitz, Cai, Kramarow, and Lentzner, 2003). Ultimately, being healthy correlates with both life expectancy and enjoying life. 

Even more people are unaware of the fact that there are separate (subjective) factors that influence what people say they "enjoy" and that these factors are shaped through conditioning and reward circuits in the brain for motivation that are modifiable. (Havermans, 2009)

 2) Also, how do I order meals at restaurants without appearing outlandish or weird?

If you eat healthy, you are "weird" by today's sick standards. This is a weird group of raw foodists here. Welcome.

3) Lastly, I am about to go off to college. How do I keep up with this LFRV lifestyle during school (keeping in mind of food expenses and social pressures)?

It is not cheap to eat healthy. It does not cost less to live longer. Do your best. Chemotherapy, statin drugs, etc. may still amount to larger health expenses in the long run. "A person with no functional limitation at 70 years of age had expected cumulative health care expenditures of about $136,000 (in 1998 dollars); a person with a limitation in at least one activity of daily living had expected cumulative expenditures of about $145,000.” (Lubitz, Cai, Kramarow, and Lentzner, 2003). And missed days from work from sickness associated with diet is another factor.

References:

Havermans R. C. (2009). 'Liking' and 'wanting' food rewards: brain substrates and roles in eating disorders. Physiol Behav. 14;97(5):537-50. Retrieved online from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19336238

Lubitz, J., Cai, L., Kramarow, E., L. and Lentzner, H. (2003). Health, Life Expectancy, and Health Care Spending among the Elderly. N Engl J Med 2003; 349:1048-1055, Retrieved online from: http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMsa020614

Permalink Reply by Ya Mei Wolff-Smith on June 19, 2012 at 5:09am

Thanks for your reply! It was very clear, and I appreciate it. I would really like to make this LFRV dietary change into a permanent one - not just for a month or two. 

Permalink Reply by Ya Mei Wolff-Smith on June 19, 2012 at 5:20am

"I always have a pack of dates with me."

Haha this reminds me of the other day when I saw a movie with my family; while everyone was eating and sharing a large-sized popcorn, I was munching on my own bag of raspberries that I had snuck in.

Permalink Reply by Jenn Birder on June 18, 2012 at 3:44pm

I saw on another thread a woman say she told her Mom she was just doing a cleanse for a couple of months and then by the time her Mom realized she was always going to eat this way she was used to it!

Saying no thank-you to food is easier than you think if you just stay calm about it.  I used to get stressed about refusing food when I first became a vegetarian and people would sense that & question me.  I realized that sometimes these people were taking it personally, like I was judging them, but I wasn't.  I was just stressed out!

Once I accepted myself and my choices so did everyone else.  Now, everyone knows I don't eat certain foods and it's not a big deal.

If you are in a situation with someone who is particularly pushy (we all have someone like that!) and you are eating with them, make up some medical reason for your food choices.  I know it sounds dishonest but I have lied to people & said I had a blood test in the morning so I couldn't consume alcohol or eat junk food!

Good Luck and Good Health To You!

:-)