I'm in need of real support here.
So 4-ish years ago, I'd gone raw. Never really 100%, but a good 95%. I lost 60 pounds in six months, felt amazing, etc.
Well s*** happens, as it always does. Got divorced, moved to Australia, met someone, got broken up with in a horrible manner, and turned to food. Caramello after Caramello, timtams, etc. All the bad s***. Didn't gain much weight - was there a year, only gained about 5-10 pounds.
Came back home to Canada, utterly depressed. S*** hit the fan, gained 50lbs back. Back to my starting weight now. My clothes don't fit right, I hate myself. I wake up every day and make myself a super healthy raw breakfast and lunch, but on lunch break, at 3pm, I end up going out and loading on carbs - no meat, I'm vegetarian. Pizza, veggie fried rice, grilled cheese and fries, etcetc. I can't stop.
I'll do great and only eat for about 1200cals by lunch and then BOOM, overeat to 2000cals of unhealthy crap. I can't seem to make raw stick, and I don't know what's holding me back but I keep looking at old pics of when I was raw and I keep pining for it.
I have all the knowledge, I know it works, I know how awesome I felt, yet I *can't make it stick*.
I do great all raw til lunch break, then I mess up. And tell myself I'll start again tomorrow. Same thing happens. I can't even go one day 100%.
Why??
Help me, please. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror.
Permalink Reply by Phoenix Huber on Make a list of the things you love about yourself! You can start small, and add more to the list as your awareness of your own magnificence expands. Read it every morning! Also, make a list of your reasons for wanting to follow this fruity lifestyle. Read that every time you start your day too! These self-made reminders will help bolster your confidence and motivation!
I have written two articles that may assist:
http://phoenixhuber.blogspot.com/2011/08/what-do-you-love-about-you...
http://phoenixhuber.blogspot.com/2011/09/why-phoenix-is-fruitarian....
If you love yourself, you will be more likely to make self loving decisions such as eating the best foods. I wish I could give you a big hug! But ultimately you can't rely on anyone else, friend or lover to give you a sense of appreciation and acceptance. You are responsible for your own self esteem. Imagine the day when you look in the mirror and see an important, beautiful, lovable, absolutely ravishing Roxanne smiling back at you. Work towards that goal of loving and accepting yourself unconditionally, every day! You have hundreds of self love tools at your disposal that you can look up online, or invent with your ingenuity.
That being said, cut the cheese! It is highly addictive, and puts cows through a lot of needless suffering. Perhaps going vegan, and then going high carb vegan (less than 10% of calories from fat, like sweet potatoes and rice), would help you transition fully to 80/10/10. Currently, you are trying to eat pure, high-carb fruit and vegetables only, yet slipping back to high-fat plant foods and even animal products in the meantime. Most of the "carbs" that you mentioned like pizza, grilled cheese and fries are definitely not high carb.
Instead of trying to force an immediate drastic shift in your habits, you could eliminate one thing at a time. I would separate myself from the dairy and eggs for starters.
Although food addictions can be pretty powerful, you must understand that it is impossible to crave anything when your body is truly satisfied. If you're hungry for junk, go for the dates and mangoes instead, until you aren't anymore! As you continue filling up on the right stuff, the salt and other addictions will subside, and you'll learn to "crave" fruit.
Don't fret about overeating. It's way, way easier to undereat on this lifestyle. Count your fruit calories. 3000 daily, minimum. Make it a game to see how many you can get in one day. Get yourself in the habit of packing in as much fruit as you can, early in the day. If you've only had 1200 calories by 3 pm, then it's no wonder you find veggie fried rice irresistible at that point. I would say eat 2000 or more by noon if you can. Always have dates around the house, and carry them in your pockets or purse so you won't have any excuse to binge on anything else while you're out. Dates will make it 5x as easy for you to succeed on this lifestyle. I repeat: Dates are your friend.
You are worth it, Roxanne! I hope my words will be of use. You are a sweetheart with a sweet tooth that can't steer you wrong. Go fruit yourself!
Love, Phx
Permalink Reply by Reet on Dates really are your friend!!! I am eating granny smith apples with dates at the moment and it really gets me through the day without even thinking of cooked food. I slice the apple and put some date inside and eat it like a sandwich. I eat them all day really. I really struggled getting through a day at 100 percent as well, I usually turned to bread at some point in the afternoon but since I have increased the dates I am able to do it easily. I can even cook a meal for my family and not even want to eat it. In fact I don't really feel like eating late cause I have eaten so much earlier in the day.
I wake up a lot happier without a stomach full of bread. Embrace the date!! and good luck.
Permalink Reply by Rawfruitygoddess on 
Permalink Reply by cynthia on i'm in a similar place... for me, it's a lot about food addiction...
for me, i think i need to just force myself to stick with it for a week and then not let the confidence get the best of me. also exercise to reinforce that i'm making an investment in myself.
also get enough fruit that will go down well (at the moment, i'm pregnant and anything that's the slightest bit acidic gives me horrible tummy aches, plus i just can't stand straight up bananas, which limits things a lot), and then just eating that whenever i want something else. even the old calorie counting mind has to acknowledge that i come out ahead when you figure that otherwise i'd be hitting up the processed carbs and fats.
lmk if you want to do some kind of challenge.
Permalink Reply by BrightStar on Use this strategy as a last defense:
Just as you see the choice has been made to reach for the bad food, and you are standing in position, about to lift your arm for it, close your eyes. Imagine an immaculate and gorgeous girl reclining on a crystal clear beach with the wind blowing softly through her hair as she gazes into the sunset layered with bright pink, orange and blue clouds. She has a complacent smile on her face. You're there, standing next to her. You hear the soft waves crash in the distance. It's a scene of absolute serenity and you're there. You know everything is OK. You walk over to the girl in the chair and are so surprised. It's you! It's you. She smiles at you.
Open your eyes. You know you don't want what you decided on. You know you really want a salad. Something that will take you back to that serene beach and stay longer. You crave something light so you can bounce around and be free there, not weighed down.
Envisioning ourselves in the success holds incredible power. Try it right now ~ close your eyes...
I'm going through the same challenges with cravings. Reading your article made me think of solutions. What you wrote helped verbalize my emotions and come up with a meditative strategy that just worked for a craving I was fighting. Community holds magical potential. See yourself there
Permalink Reply by cynthia on actually, this reminds me of one other device i heard on a raw food podcast recently, it's a twist on the idea of visualizing yourself at your goal and affirming to yourself "i *am* ______" (whatever your goal is). the concept was that instead, you ask yourself "why am I so ____?"
why am i feeling so great on the raw food lifestyle?
why do i have so much energy?
why do i feel so full of life eating lots of dates and bananas? (or whatever it is you like to eat)
why does my body look so lean and strong?
Permalink Reply by VeganBabe on BrightStar, you almost brought me to tears; just what I need to hear at the start of my day!
Permalink Reply by Rawfruitygoddess on 
Permalink Reply by Kristie on I've been there many a time and although I am still transitioning to 100% I feel I am in control now. I tried for the first time probably 3 years ago. I can't say for sure what the turning point was. Maybe I stopped being an "all or nothing" kind of person, bingeing everytime I fell off the wagon? But I do know that each time I take a step in the right direction everything else starts looking up. It is a hard place to be when you know what you need to do to lose weight but the depressive cycle keeps you reaching for bad food to numb the self-hatred of where you are at. Just keep trying, don't give up and eventually you will get so sick of the way terrible food makes you feel, and you will get to a point where you WANT raw food, you want to be healthy more than you want that bad food.
Best of luck and most importantly, don't stop trying, for most people it is not easy to go raw.
Permalink Reply by ednshell on Definitely get the 811 book! Read through the 30BaD Banana Wagon Tour
Keep educating yourself, you will get there, no worries at all! :)
Permalink Reply by Jack on Personally, I like to find out exactly why I feel the way I do, how these things work. I like to think that there's always a reason, and if I find out what the reason(s) is (are), I usually end up figuring a way to get where I want to be. An approach that may not suite everyone, but let me know if it might suit you.
Here's a quick exploration into my observations on difficult emotions and how they might be connected with food. My observations began with the observation that I start to feel highly suicidal, and experience a profound wish to never have existed, after months on 100 % LFRV, no calorie restriction. I did eventually find out where that wish came from, and haven't seen it since.
As for ever again getting where you want to be, of course you can. Challenges exist to teach us.
If it doesn't kill you, it teaches you, and even if it does kill you, it's beautiful over there.
Javier Rodriguez replied to Javier Rodriguez's discussion Going to go for a record tomorrow: 7200 calories
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