If you are in a relationship with a meat eater and they are harassing you, disrespecting you or trying to convert you back you are clearly in the wrong relationship! It doesn't matter if you are dating, married, 'special friends', interested etc. Get The F--k Out!!
you owe yourself more than this.
I cannot tell you how many vegan people who are getting so pain, and heartbreak over their non vegan husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other, that their meat eating counterpart is being antagonistic, rude, obnoxious, unsupportive and worst of all DISRESPECTFUL.
Taunting you, laughing and making a mockery of your convictions
publicly embarrassing you in social situations
waving meat on your face or purposely dropping it your plate,
sneaking meat into your dishes
forcing to you cook meat dishes and giving you hell for it.
purposely buying leather items and mocking the animals suffering just to get at you.
Otherwise disrespecting you and insulting you.
The list can go on and on and on and on.
THIS IS NOT LOVE. You may have thought it was, but the right opportunity came and they are showing to you their true colors.
to me its like having a "good friend" for many years and that one moment that you are down and out the moment in which times are going bad for you, they betray you, walk out on you, kick you while you are down use you or otherwise do you wrong in a very bad way -- well it looks like to me they were not really your friends to begin with . WHY IS IT THAT WE ALL understand this yet why should relationships be any different, what because you were dating for years, why cause you are married? Is this an excuse to endure abuse? you are not anymore noble for 'sticking it out', you are a chump This is insanity!!!
Its not going to get better, and quite frankly these people are not worthy of your time.
Live abundantly, life is too short, to go out like that. There are too many awesome people out there to be wasting your time with a hater. go snag yourself a vegan who gives a damn and wont make a joke outta you, otherwise you may be setting yourself up for failure
like DR says "find someone already on the path"
otherwise don't complain and by staying you are at fault as well and are fueling the fire.
and these people with their apologizes make me sick, It reminds me of battered woman who endure physical abuse who still believe that their lover loves them, that he just has a bad tempter, how is emotional and psychological abuse any different? why just cause their are no physical bruises? Why choose to be a prisoner in a relationship Stockholms Syndrome much?
thanks for hearing I had to get that out.
tell me your thoughts
I agree hardcore, this goes for anyone in a toxic relationship in general too.
@prana good point
likely cause as the saying goes "you can choose your friends but not your family" people endure this abuse in marriages and relationships cause they likely classify them in the label of family as the nature of the beast and thus they opt for abusive mediocray.
But what if there are children. That complicates matters
All the more reason to get out! There is no such thing as "staying together for the kids" that is selfish talk for "I don't want to take responsibility and raise the little ones by myself" TRUST ME.
agreed, and children should not have to witness abusive relationships, this sets poor models of behavior and disrespect
once you go fruitarian you never date other guys again
You know reading your description doesn't say meat eater to me, it says jerk! I was a SAD eater (including plenty of meat) married to a vegetarian. Sure I would debate with her that meat/protein was SO important, blah, blah, blah. She didn't try to make me change although she would give me articles, etc that laid out the dangers of the "standard" diet. A lot of them I internally poo-poo'd, I knew better, but I respected her enough to not try to change her and she respected me enough to inform me but not push too hard.
End result? My failing health finally tweaked me enough that all the information over the years gelled and I went raw vegan. She is still vegetarian and I pass along articles n the dangers of dairy, etc. but I don't push too hard..... See the pattern? :)
So I would say do NOT leave someone because they eat meat unless they are also a jerk and could care less about your feelings. Why? Because with mutual respect you just may bring them around! And they may return the favor. :)
In the end, it's gotta be something each individual thinks about and decides for themselves.
I completely agree with you. though the word Jerk would be an understatement ;)
thats a nice case study its great that you are an awesome example and more people should follow your lead. Unfortunately its not the reality for some people, especially in the case female vegans dating males
in relationships, women and men are equally as capable of being controlling, vindictive, and manipulative. just wanted to throw that out there.
This is exactly right.
SAD eater doesn't equal jerk. My husband wants his meat, and he eats it in front of me (why not? He did this for the first 12 years we were married), but he is respectful of how I want to eat. Because I don't lecture or hassle him. That would just push him away, anyway. He eats how he eats because it's how he was trained for 35 years to eat. Changing will be really hard for him.
Love can move mountains. I hope mine can eventually move a mountain of fat off my rear end and his belly. But in the end, it's his choice.
People tend to treat you the way you ask to be treated. I've been kind & respectful to others and no one has bothered me one bit about my diet. To be honest, I shied away from vegan for a LONG time because I didn't want to be associated with the vegans who act like jerks - and there are a lot of these! That was the view I had of vegans - they were pushy, loud, obnoxious and a little crazy. I came to this for health reasons - the kindness to animals is secondary for me. Everyone has a different reason for coming to this way of eating, but the more unbending and harsh you are, the more you push people away.
I might have gone vegan several years ago, when I first became aware of the health benefits, if the name "vegan" hadn't seemed so taboo to me...
So in a way, extreme viewpoints like the one in the OP kept me away from my best health for a long time. Just something to think on.
Its obvious that at the end of the day people can be mean whether SAD diet or not and I can also see how it can a bit different especially for couples who are married for years and one goes vegan, and the other 'respects' the other
but far too often I hear the exact opposite is very true. one is already vegan or goes vegan and its nothing but jokes, insults and disputes
"People tend to treat you the way you ask to be treated"
This is very true to some extent but I cant help but think of abusers, do their victims have Victimize me painted on their foreheads?
" Everyone has a different reason for coming to this way of eating, but the more unbending and harsh you are, the more you push people away"
I would have to ask you who is being unbending and Harsh? and why should we vegans compromise our value systems? these type of judgment ASSumption is usually said by non-vegans or people who fail to understand that it veganism is a lifestyle a system of being not just a simple dietary eating preference
Fabulous answer. I am in the same situation with my husband, only we don't discuss it. He knows that I eat much more healthy. I figure when he has failing health, he will turn to me for help. See, leading by example, which is exactly what your wife did.
Good for you and her both!!!