I want this lifestyle; to feel vibrant, happy, slim, toned.
My only problem is that weight distribution after anorexia; my stomach is digusting--it jiggles, feels flabby, bulges, etc.
I'm active; exercising at LEAST an hour a day, if not more (usually running, swimming, biking, rollerblading), and I eat easily 95% raw; the only cooked food I eat is sweet potatoes and broccoli.
I've been vegan for over a year, and have been trying this lifestyle (though not getting 3,000 kcal, more like 1500 ish) since January, and it's so hard accepting this weight gain.
So, if you have an ED past, how did you deal with your weight distribution? It's driving me MAD. And it doesn't help that I'm surrounded by flat-stomach, perfect-figure teenage girls all day (I'm in high school), who have rapid metabolisms, while I'm stuck here with a fatso stomach eating barely anything.
Permalink Reply by Alexandra R. on You make good points; I think I'm going to embrace my stomach for the time being, and focus on health.
After this week (the first week of anorexia relapse in 4 months), my head is throbbing, sore throat, stuffed sinuses, etc. And I haven't been sick in well over a year. It's obvious my body is telling me something, and I am going to listen to it and ignore whatever negative feelings I have toward myself.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Permalink Reply by Alexandra R. on Oh, and I don't care for a "bf" whatsoever. I probably would NEVER date someone who wasn't at least vegetarian, though preferably vegan. No mouth that eats the carcasses of animals (and excretions) will get near mine!
Besides, I'd choose climbing trees over stupid teenage relationships any day ;)
Permalink Reply by Morgan on Hey, just wanted to encourage you..
This is a vid from Harley that addresses getting enough carbs vs. feeling fatigued..: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAI0Z_MKjdI
The point is to be healthy and have enough appropriate fuel.
Getting the carbs in, to my understanding, is what's necessary to have your body operate successfully (and not be depressed and all.) It's eating fat that packs on the fat. But we NEED carbs - our brain does, our organs do.. etc..
I used to eat low fat and was quite happy and satisfied w/ the results... I just got into the carb restriction (popular thinking) and eating a lot of fat and animal products and that's what made me gain. Then went on high protein, low carb (more like no carb) diet and it DEstroyed my thyroid (and my adrenals). I mean, completely jacked me up. At first when I started on this diet, I was eating thousands and thousands of cals in fruit. My body was just so famished when it discovered I had decided to start feeding it. I've decided to incorporate other low fat carbs because I just can't get enough because of past carb/cal restriction and my current weight (which is big.)
Just want to say that though I've had a tough run w/ health and am very much bummed about my current state of health, my two little boys mean more to me than all of that. I need to be there for them and be their mommy. I need to have the energy to play with them and live a long life for them. (And eating this way, I no longer have to take thyroid supps.)
People need you for those reasons, too.
Forget about the tummy, or other things.. Cherish them.
As far as school, take a stand in your mind that you just will not go down that road (what you see other girls doing w/ not eating.) This is a tough time, even regardless of the food stuff. It's great that you started this.. I wouldn't worry, just take it one day at a time, and know the more health foods you eat, the better off your body is.
You've been courageous to get healthier.
Btw, if you keep it up w/ eating more fruit/carbs, your def. not going to be feeling as sad or bad about your body as much.
More carbs are what helped me and the hub out of depression, major physical problems, and a whole host of other problems.
I believe you are likely also feeling physiologically depressed because you're simply not getting NEAR enough carbs.
I know it's a struggle every day, but just be patient and gentle with yourself. There are many, many on here who've struggled w/ ED's. (myself, included) Try and nurse yourself back to health and try to see food as what will help get you there. (it truly does.)
All the best and know you have a great future ahead of you.
HTH
Permalink Reply by Alexandra R. on This summer I will be 100% focusing on my health; and try not to care about my "flab".
Thanks for taking the time to respond and inspire me!
Permalink Reply by sannabanna on bravo alexandra :) good for you !
Permalink Reply by Juleve on i always remember myself, that i want to be healthy and happy LONG TERM (be superthin this summer because of fasting etc. will not help you get out of this and you know that).
so i took a big step back and looked at my situation.
then i tried to treat myself like i would treat a person that i love when he/she would come to me and tell me about his/her sorrows with the ED.
that helped me a lot!
so love yourself and treat yourself right! :)
Permalink Reply by Jessie James on I have put on weight and it's very hard to accept...at times. My clothes are so snug! And last week the thought entered my mind to give up and go back to restricting calories. The only problem with that is I only managed to take off a few pounds! I didn't feel good either. I would have a good day and only eat a little. The following day I would crash. It's a vicious cycle and will not get the results you want. You are also harming your body. It may look good on the outside but inside is a different story.
Perfect figure teenage girls do not restrict cals. Your body is in starvation mode all the time. It's not going to give up cals not matter how few you consume.
Permalink Reply by Jessie James on Another thing too, I think that restricting our cals for so long has adapted out metabolism as such to hold onto calories. As soon as our bodies know that calorie restriction is a thing of the past, things will function properly. If this were not true everyone on here would be extremely obese. The sooner you teach body that you will always have enough fuel the sooner it will start to burn calories and not store them. And remember this is a long term solution, once you get over this it's all roses :)
Permalink Reply by Simplicity on Couple things:
1) Ditch the scale.
2) Trust that this lifestyle will, in time, give you the body you want.
3) Use photos of Teri Leventhal, Megan Elizabeth, Freelea, and Kristina Carillo Buccaram as evidence of point #2. Listen to their YouTube videos for tips and inspiration.
4) Accept that it's always darkest before dawn, which means...
5) You might gain some weight doing this lifestyle. And that's okay.
6) Detox might suck. But,
7) The mental discipline required to do 811 is SIGNIFICANTLY less taxing than the mental discipline required for starvation.
8) Know that the other skinny girls in high school are likely fighting a tough battle you don't want to be a part of. If they're claiming they simply have fast metabolisms, only 1 out of 10 of the girls is telling the truth.
9) Check out mybodygallery.com: the girls at 5'4 and 110 lbs have gorgeous, healthy bodies. It's a great site that should give you some honest perspective about how you currently look.
10) Either cut down your exercise or ramp up your calorie consumption. In the short run, you'll feel like crap unless you do one or the other. In the long-run, you'll burn out. Guaranteed.
11) Clean your browsing history and your cookies. Why? Anything pro-ana needs to go, stat.
12) In the short-run, accept that feeling better trumps looking better... and trust that in the long-run, you WILL achieve both.
13) An idle mind is the devil's workshop: keep your mind focused and busy on something OTHER than eating. The time I was 5'8 and a rather sickly-looking 115 lbs (not something I'd recommend) was when I was so engrossed in finals for school while also starting a business. So yeah: throw yourself into school, pile on extracurriculars, and find a passion.
14) Know that even if you do reach your "ideal weight," you probably won't be much happier than you are now. Your life will not be radically different when/if you fit into skinny jeans. You won't get much more attention from men, and if you do, the right guy won't care if you're 110 or 90 lbs. In fact, a quality guy will want you to be at the healthy weight. The one that makes you happiest. And chances are, maintaining 90 lbs by being anorexic requires being pretty damn miserable because of the toll it takes on your health.
15) No health, no happiness. Know health, know happiness. Read: 90 lbs by anorexia = no happiness. 90-110 lbs by raw vegan = happy!
<3
Permalink Reply by Alexandra R. on Wow this is VERY inspiring. Thanks so much for this, it was something I realllllllllllllllllly needed. :)
Permalink Reply by melonhead on Eat more fruit! I come from an ED background and have found that the more fruit I eat, the better off I am- I feel better, been losing weight- but I have been wondering the last few days if disordered eating isn't related to disordered breathing. Meditation is such a powerful tool, especially when dealing with bad habits. Inhale, exhale, ahhhhhh... Good Luck!
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