I want this lifestyle; to feel vibrant, happy, slim, toned.
My only problem is that weight distribution after anorexia; my stomach is digusting--it jiggles, feels flabby, bulges, etc.
I'm active; exercising at LEAST an hour a day, if not more (usually running, swimming, biking, rollerblading), and I eat easily 95% raw; the only cooked food I eat is sweet potatoes and broccoli.
I've been vegan for over a year, and have been trying this lifestyle (though not getting 3,000 kcal, more like 1500 ish) since January, and it's so hard accepting this weight gain.
So, if you have an ED past, how did you deal with your weight distribution? It's driving me MAD. And it doesn't help that I'm surrounded by flat-stomach, perfect-figure teenage girls all day (I'm in high school), who have rapid metabolisms, while I'm stuck here with a fatso stomach eating barely anything.
wow, thanks for this insight jera. you described it really well, regarding why we have to allow ourselves to eat 'bad' vegan foods in the beginning. for mental reason, not physical.
I haven't been able to explain in properly until now, "But you know what? I needed to let myself eat all that stuff, because I needed to remove the fear.
I knew that when I was ready to embrace this lifestyle for reasons of true self-love; I would"
beautiful jera ! thank you
Hey, Alexandra! Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time with this. Sounds like you're pretty distressed, and comparing yourself to other girls, which, I'm sure, as women, we can all relate to. The eating disorder cuts down your self esteem, and may make you think you pale in comparison to others, which I'm sure is rather far from the truth. I understand where you're coming from, I gained ~30 lbs (am now ~110 lbs) in recovery, and I absolutely hated my body for the longest time. In recovery, your self esteem will get worse before it gets better, but you have to work through it, and give it a chance. I promise you, once your body trusts you again, and realizes it's not in a famine, the fat WILL evenly distribute. It took months for my body to regulate itself. I know you might be sick of hearing this, but once you start eating more, you'll feel more motivated, happy, energetic, etc. Right now, if you're eating only 600 calories daily, you're running on a calorie deficit, and your body will want to store fat more easily. The best thing you can do for yourself is to start loving yourself enough to WANT to recover. Most ED patients have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. I promise you, once you make health a priority, everything else will fall into place.
This does help; I'm definitely going to do more strength training! I'm thinking about getting p90X, but until then I'll do it on my own! :)
600 cals/day + p90x.. now that's a KILLER combo..
So here's the thing... I'm going to ask you something that will seem strange. If you take away the words "my stomach is disgusting" and just go to the feeling you have in your body when you say those words, how would you describe it? Can you describe the sensation in your stomach, your chest, your throat or your face?
Sometimes the story we have in our head has something deeper behind it. The words are not as important as the feelings and needs behind them.
Why not wear baggy clothes for a while
School dress code. lol.
But summer's 3 weeks away, and I certainly will. :)
Its gonna take some years before your health is good again. NOTHING you can do about it but live healthfully. Get on some b12 shots. Anorexic THRASHES the body.
Bit like trying to get a durian tree to fruit under 5 years. Aint gonna happen but you can pull your hair out trying.
Oh my god. That Durian tree analogy totally clicked something into place. It makes so much sense. Ah-ha!
Makes sense. In fact, I just watched your video on calorie resrtiction; it makes me want to cram bananas down my throat!
Thanks, Harley :)
Alexandra R., even though this book isn't 811-related (but it doesn't say anything against it either!), I highly recommend reading the book "It's not about food" by Carol Emery Normandi and Laurelee Roark. It helped me so much! Though since I've become 811 (eventhough I'm since 9 years clean from anorexia) I feel much more comfortable about myself and damn proud that I don't look like a model of this day in age (they're sad, ugly, disgusting, and undercarbed!).
Anyway, HERE is a link to these authors (who by the way also battled eating disorders in the past - and won).
Girl you are on the most healthy and vibrant and slim diet ever! Why not put some nice natural girls from forest living culture in your room?:)
They have different body than most undecarbed girl. I dont joudge any style, but I joudge obsessing about food. that is the problem, not the calorie or carbs or who per se.
How about eating to break the rock, instead to feel lady-ish?Coz this diet is storm, total zunammi, not a faith pray diet.
You have to get stronger and fitter, not excersizing to burn, but to run faster and with heavier weight on your body naturally(havier mass). Take is like a free weight stick to you, that will make you fitter and faster later, as you change it to muscle. Coz you are not going to run like this and be happy mood all the time in 50, right?
I know that you wanna be loved and have a bf. and sexy and to feel cool and so on. But back in then from high school I tell you,those who got it all werent those chasing boys and boy that chase girls, but those who work on them self get fitte, smarter, stronger!!!, mentally emotionally and in the same time werent obsessed with it but enjoy the love to life per se, so they sleep ok after the good day and then eat, eat, eat and eat to do more and learn more and live more.
You will feel good on little calories, coz you are love, but you wont get fitter at the same time, coz you are already slim that much, that if you get even slimmer, you wont be love trust me!
In my case it was opposite, I was slim and fit and one man shoud at me anorectic, while I was on the party eating lots of fruit(in his view, binging) and looking slim. So trust me, that hurt even more;).
Paradoxly now I am off the weight, cause of disease and I dont have even now that much energy to get fitter as you. But I still try and even if I dont try, I rather eat my fruit than to be starved on meat and vegetable diet and I rather look little unfit and big, than to more stress about food, coz even socially you will get more trouble, than just calorie caunting. But no metter the results you will always attract those who will want your results(you got later) and repel those, who will rather eat everything and little and chill, but be sick nearly everymonth.