I want this lifestyle; to feel vibrant, happy, slim, toned.
My only problem is that weight distribution after anorexia; my stomach is digusting--it jiggles, feels flabby, bulges, etc.
I'm active; exercising at LEAST an hour a day, if not more (usually running, swimming, biking, rollerblading), and I eat easily 95% raw; the only cooked food I eat is sweet potatoes and broccoli.
I've been vegan for over a year, and have been trying this lifestyle (though not getting 3,000 kcal, more like 1500 ish) since January, and it's so hard accepting this weight gain.
So, if you have an ED past, how did you deal with your weight distribution? It's driving me MAD. And it doesn't help that I'm surrounded by flat-stomach, perfect-figure teenage girls all day (I'm in high school), who have rapid metabolisms, while I'm stuck here with a fatso stomach eating barely anything.
Some with ED pasts find it less of a trigger to count carbs instead of calories. Tracking is the only way to make sure you are getting enough, going by hunger is just not reliable for at least the first year or so: 10 times your weight in kilos to calculate your basic carb needs, always add more for activity.
No you definitely don't sound stupid and whiny at all. You are being honest and vulnerable and asking for support to heal. That is awesome. :D
<3 <3 <3
second that response! you're defintiley not being whiny, you're just troubled by an extremely manipulitive thing... don't worry, many people have been through this, but the fact that you came on here asking for advice shows that you are brave and wanting to recover, lowering your calories is only going to make it worse... you must, deep in your heart, know that!
listen either way, you are going to have to accept the weight gain, especially if you want a wonderful, bright and healthy future. When I was gaining, and I still find it now from starting this lifestyle, that the healthier you become the less important a flat stomach becomes as all you want to feel is happiness and relief from letting go of the ed.... the ed no longer defines you. I have gained 5kg from my already assumed 'healthy weight' from my ed, but I could care less because I know it will not always be that way. Yes at times I feel self conscience, but I have learnt within only just a few years that my health is much more important than being thin. You have to work hard to achieve the ultimate body of your dreams and that comes with time, patience, acceptance and nurturing your bodies energy needs. Have you read Freelee's e-book? I just finished it an hour ago and it may help you rethink your eating behaviours at the current moment.
I really do hope you defeat your ed soon, because once you do, you will be able to look back and see how ridiculous it was. Don't waste any more time, your health is at risk if you do! Best Wishes to you Alexandra!
Thank you Dania and Juliana for your support! Definitely motivational :)
ps. If you are ever panicking about your body during it's recovery stage, then take a look at free lee and her body composition, I mean, who doesn't wanna look like that? :) even though I highly encourage ppl to follow this lifestyle motivated by the health aspect, then it definitely doesn't hurt that being a CONSISTENT 811'er means that you'll look like that !
I know that it's hard (you know that I do! Haha), but you're never going to fix your metabolism and live a healthy lifestyle unless you keep te calories up. It'll only make it harder for it to happen. And try to think like this: you'll have health and happiness in the long term. I promise. Those two things are more important than having a "flat stomach." The flab will go away after a month or so, probably even faster, because you exercise so much. And if you do more strength training, less cardio, you'll definitely improve your metabolism. More muscle means more calorie burn 24/7. But you need to eat more to gain muscle. I learned that. And remember that you're beautiful. Even if you think that you're not. I know that you probably don't believe me, and you think that I'm saying this just to support you, but you really are. Even more so, in my opinion, at a healthy weight of 100-110 pounds. I like you better that way. To be frank, you look too gangly when you're too thin. ;) Oh, don't eat too many dates; they're harder to digest.
Aww, thanks Shannon :)
I posted this awhile ago, though, and I never really feel like that anymore :D
I am 5'4.
I want to be happy with my body, but I just can't stand the rolls when I sit down and such.
Very true about us being hard on ourselves! Your response definitely helped, especially with your including your experience with little weight gain in your twenties.
I can vouch, at 5'7" I currently weigh 110 pounds and I have rolls when I sit down - rolls of SKIN, its very natural.
I think I'm way too thin and am trying to put on weight; I'm currently eating 3000-4000 cals HCRV per day, and the weight is still struggling to build up...BUT I FEEL WONDERFUL & alive finally!
Alexandra, I would suggest that you think about how eating so little makes you feel physically. do you want to feel tired, depressed or do you want to feel trully alive, glowing and healthy? Look at Freelee for inspiration, she is gorgeous, and slim and toned. If you want to look like her, follow her advice and get 3000+ cals each day from fruit, and although you may put on a little weight over the first year, think of the longer term goal and know in your heart, you will be slim for life after that :D
Good luck - please take care of yourself, the longer you starve your body of the nutrients it needs the harder it will be for your body to heal itself. x
Just last year I came out of a two year hole. Eating disorders are hell-- and so is the low-energy, depression, and self-harming thoughts that come with them.
I am 5'5'', and at the time (When I was 14) I was at 105 pounds. I think I have a big frame (even though people tells me I am small and skinny-- go figure right?) I would look at pictures of myself at the time and think how fat, ugly, big faced I was. Why could I be pretty and thin like all the other girls?
I went through the restriction. I was pulled out and forced to eat by my parents, and as I started to become more comfortable with eating (but not comfortable with my body) I began to feel disgusted with where I had gotten. How could I have gotten myself to this place? I was developing into binging on huge amount of vegan foods, to the point of physical distress and discomfort. Then I found the raw 80/10/10 diet. I was attracted to it initially by all the tiny slim perfect people following it. The ultimate diet-- where could I go wrong with this one? So I struggled with the cravings, but for the sake of skinniness. I crashed back on cooked and some processed vegan food. But you know what? I needed to let myself eat all that stuff, because I needed to remove the fear.
I knew that when I was ready to embrace this lifestyle for reasons of true self-love, I would. Now, I struggle with the cravings becuase I feel better and I know I'll just keep improving. I am free of self-hating thoughts-- I don't go "oh not hat was too much fruit" or "uhoh I should count my calories for the day, I might be under (when I know I'm doing it to make sure I didn't get too much) like I did on the diet the first time around.
Interestedly, with all the binges on cooked food and avocados and nuts, I did gain weight. But I'm not that big at all! In fact, the weight gain stopped at a little over 120 pounds (yeah, I weighed myself-- temptation at my grandma's house. I normally don't)! And people still think I am skinny and small. There was nothing to be afraid of.
The worst I used to imagine has come true. I gained weight. Guess where I am, at sixteen? I am in Hawaii, starting to take care of myself and committing to feeling good. Full of fresh foraged fruit, and when I eat some ketchup with salt and spices, I don't feel like my world is going to end. Quite the opposite-- I feel the world is opening up for me!
Not so bad for the worst thing in the world, eh?