At my new job I am noticing that the only way to really fit in is to party with my co-workers. They go to the bars frequently and are a tight knit group. Does anyone have a suggestion on what to do? How do you deal with the pressure to drink.. I just really don't want to hear that I need to sacrifice socializing with people who don't agree with my preferred diet. Life should be all loving and all inclusive.
Are you loving and inclusive by drinking alcohol? What are your actual ways of being loving and inclusive?
Don't limit yourself into an 'either or mentality' this is a trap mindset,
no need to exclude your self from being social---you don't have to drink,
just keep it real and be fun if you are a fun person to be around it really doesn't matter.
Generally cool people don't make a big deal if you wont. just a simple no thanks or just order water or who knows order some fresh fruity smoothie off the menu....
If you are good company, cool with conversation it doesn't matter if you are drinking or not. too many people however get stuck in the trap and try to make up for being social by being drunk or buzzed and annoying trust you don't want to be that person
Take it from me as a DJ -- the nightlife drinking influences are strong, guys and very pretty ladies are always trying to buy me drinks or get me to do shots/rounds with them but I still don't partake and its all good and we still party really hard.
What do you spin? My husband is also a DJ, I use to have a production company and people would always buy me drinks, I can't even imagine the strength you have for saying no!
a shout out to your Husband as he knows where its at.
I'm From Virginia beach but recently relocated to Omaha nebraska ---I mainly throw my own events and hook up/network with other DJs at parties and underground events,
I still DJ as a Mobile DJ and used to spin at a few spots in Virginia Beach, Virginia and threw my own drug free alcohol free raves and AR charity events called 'Electroveg' check out my page for pictures
Hit me up on facebook, like my raw vegan DJ page 'Raw Zombie'
I am currently 'in the lab' working on productions so will be updating my facebook with new pictures mixes and productions and raw recipes etc
People usually get all defensive and stereotype you as 'judgmental' if you go all deep and educating on them. you are there to have a good time, and they have heard it all before.
Its like telling a smoker that smoking causes lung cancer, how original i am sure they never heard that one before.
I doubt many people who ACTUALLY believes that drinking is somehow conducive to superhealth, we all know its poison, destroys your liver, etc. well except for the occasional idiot who says wine is 'good for your heart' just showcase your personality, socialize and have a good time, If they really ask then tell them. keep it short keep it brief, we are not trying to lecture and go all proselytizer keep in mind its people you work with. coworkers are very much different from friends and random people you meet who you will never see again so no reason to have people get all defensive and hostile as some do when their values are put into question. this is not to say that you are giving them your green light of approval but they are grown @$$$ed folks and do what they want.
If you feel you have to party to fit in heres your sign
I totally agree with this. Just go out with them, have a water with lemon....maybe a seltzer water with lemon if you're feelin' crazy ; ) and show them you wanna be part of their group by just being part of the conversation and having fun. If anyone asks why you don't drink, just smile and say you're currently trying out a special diet that forbids alcohol. I don't know of any mature adults (ie, people one would want to hang out with) who would press the matter. Who knows, if your colleagues really like to get drunk, they may be glad to have someone sober in the group...you will represent stability, wisdom and a safe ride home, to a greater degree the more drinks they've had : )
Just ask your colleagues a lot of friendly questions about themselves and about work. Flatter them and they will be a lot less likely to criticize you, because we all like someone who likes us ; )
I go out to bars & hang out at parties with friends a lot, they never try to pressure me to drink. We all make a big joke out of it & no one really bothers that I don't drink. Partly cause they probably remember the state I was in when I was drinking all the time & how sick I used to feel on days I didn't drink. But I just hang out with them & drink water or if I'm at my friends sometimes I'll throw some fruit in his juicer & have fruit juice.
Generally the people that are worth being around will accept the way you want to live & not try to force you in to living like them to feel more comfortable. Maybe I'm pretty lucky, because I've got a great group of friends & work colleagues but that's something everyone should strive for in life. Good people will always accept a person for who they are, people that are unhappy in their own lives & bodies will try to make everyone feel like them. My advice find the ones that are willing to let you be yourself & stay away from the ones that don't.
AA? LOL, this is how water cooler office rumors start
There really is no 'pressure' to drink, it's all a choice. We all have it.
If you want to drink to fit in, go for it! If you don't, don't!
Kinda weird how you say 'I don't want to hear I need to sacrifice... and all loving and all inclusive'. Well, there are some things you want to do and some you don't. You can't have it all, right? You can't go out and drink with the co-workers and have awesome health, right? It's a choice based on our priorities and values.
I completely agree with being loving, and the first loving thing is to be loving to yourself, take care of yourself. Love yourself first, all else follows. By succumbing to peer pressure you are not being loving, you are sacrificing your principles for the sake of others habits, rituals, addictions, desires, etc and seeking their approval. Not sure how loving that is?
There are many ways to 'fit in', many suggestions here already, if that's what you want. Personally I rather not fit with that type of a crowd because I don't have anything in common with them (other than work) and goes against all my principals and values. If they are respectful people, they will respect your decision not to drink or party. You can still enjoy the social aspect without drinking alcohol. Have some water or bring some fresh squeezed oj or grapefruit juice. If not, perhaps a different line of work is something to consider.
Bottom line is that we all have choices.
Wish you all the best on this!