At my new job I am noticing that the only way to really fit in is to party with my co-workers. They go to the bars frequently and are a tight knit group. Does anyone have a suggestion on what to do? How do you deal with the pressure to drink.. I just really don't want to hear that I need to sacrifice socializing with people who don't agree with my preferred diet. Life should be all loving and all inclusive.
Go to the bars, and order water (or juice, if you're lucky to be at a place where they squeeze OJ on the spot). I've been going to bars for years without ordering alcohol,, and it has nothing to do with 811, I just don't like it.
Just hang out with them if it suits you but don't let a petty thing like peer pressure make you drink.
You are strong enough to follow this lifestyle surely you are strong enough to abstain from alcohol.
Why do you want to fit in with them? It's more liberating and free when you are true to yourself.
This is a very good question. I am a "recovered alcoholic," as they say; meaning that I haven't had a drink for 5 years. I may be a skid-row bum tomorrow, but today I'm a "recovered alcoholic." That's AA talk. Alcoholics Anonymous is the place to learn about people who hang out in bars and pretend to be cool. You can find those same people a few years later in AA meetings--only then they are "recovered alcoholics" and they are "anonymous," like me--so nobody will suspect how bad the situation really is! If you want to learn something about how "cool" these people really are, I would suggest you go to an open AA meeting and talk to some people who were "cool" 5 or 10 years ago--but who are now "recovering from a hopeless state of mind and body."
Another way to learn something about alcoholics is to go to an alanon meeting and listen to their wives and ex-wives talk about the hellatious problems we/they have in relationships. Alanons cry, go to divorce courts, and try to correct the sad problems that alcohol has caused in their helpless families. Alanons are people who don't have a clue that alcoholism is a mental, physical and spiritual disease--that affects jobs, homes, families and mental health.
My suggestion to you is to be grateful that you don't fit in such circles. Maybe take some dance lessons or find a smoke-free, alcohol-free place to dance and socialize. Join the Y or a health club and meet some people who work out. Get a hobby that is "not cool" and is incompatible with drinking, and make some friends there....but stay away from smoky old bars and dance halls.
Lee Mack, (anonymous)
Hey Melissa i am also surrounded by social situations where the main focus is drinking and i know how tough that can be. If you still want to socialize in those situations still you have to learn to be the life of the party without "partying" wich can be tough i know from experience. lately i go to music shows and just drink water but still have an awesome time. you learn to really just enjoy socializing for what it truly is meant to be. And you dont have to be intoxicated for that to happen. Before i go out i like to reinforce why i am not drinking and why it is important to eat healthy, I hope this helps out :)
I ALWAYS rely on the "alcoholism runs in my family" excuse. It's not an overshare, but people tend to respect it. And as long as you are still having a blast and fun to be with, I doubt they'll care.
I forgot to add as well that I work in the film industry and social and work functions ALWAYS revolve around alcohol. I can't tell you how many important meetings I've had over drinks. I don't drink and just don't like it and it has NEVER gotten in the way socially or career wise. So I tend to think that when it seems like a big deal to not drink, it's really because in your own mind it's a thing. Most people don't actually really care that much and will hardly notice if you're confident in your own choices.
Once, I went out on 6 dates with a guy who drank frequently. And on the 6th date he was like... wait, you always get grapefruit juice, do you not drink? And I said no, but we were having so much fun he didn't care at all and neither did I. Just own it. Do whatever you want. People will get on board eventually.
You will come to learn what you and your friends are made of in such situations.
Just do what you want to do. :) Go to their parties if you want, have a good time, and if they offer you a drink say "no thank you". :) They'll see you can have fun without alcohol. Stay carbed up on fruit and maybe they'll see that's where the party is. :p
You could probably still go to bars with them and enjoy their company without drinking. It may seem odd at first to be in a bar and not drink but it would allow you to still socialize with them without doing anything you don't care to do. You may even be able to order a drink without the alcohol and chances are, no one will probably even notice you're not drinking but you could still have a drink in hand so as to not feel out of place. Sticking to what you want to do is important, though, and as long as you're not telling them not to drink, they should be cool with it if they're worth hanging out with. Good luck!
Do what you love and love what you do because those that matter do not mind, and those that mind do not matter! Durianrider has quoted this many times, and I try to keep it running around in my head in those situations.
I'm constantly in situations where I meet new people and only last night a guy said to me "so.. you're a vegan AND you don't drink? You're well boring then" He actually said this. We then went on to have a laugh over the course of the evening and any talk of whether or not I was drinking alcohol dissolved.
Your personality is more important than alcohol. People who still want you to drink even if you're having a great time are probably only wanting it to make themselves feel more comfortable about drinking when they know it's not that healthy.