The Durianrider 'sinbin'

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by cindy on September 7, 2009 at 8:14pm

DR,
I am not going to debate semantics with you, fruits and shoots buddy, i know your right and so does just about everyone else, but I wanted to address another issue.

I'm gonna be the first to officially declare myself #1 fan of your tough love approach, in fact it was a message from you that got my sorry ass of GI2MR and into some Doug Graham books, but it’s not necessarily the best approach to use if you wanna make friends, and I think friendships is exactly what this commUNITY at 30BAD is about.

I get your point, understand your message and am in no way offended by it, BUT that’s because you and me share the same communication style. And yeah sometimes I wish that the whole world has the same no-bulls*** approach as we do but the fact of the matter is that our attitude can sometimes be a double edged sword.

Life is pretty simple, but people aren’t. When you are dealing with people, especially on an emotional level, sometimes you just have to up the love just a bit so you don’t sound like a hard-ass banana Nazi.

There are many people on this community with many different communication styles that all make wonderful contributions to 30BAD and have different ways of expressing their passion for health and delicious fruit.

In the past 48 hours, 2 of our most wonderful members have disappeared. Not because of the semantics, but in a protest for tolerance in the 30BAD community. People need love and support if you want them to thrive, sometimes you CAN push too hard.

I write this to you as a similar situation is manifesting my own life. My partner has been looking for work for the past 6 weeks. He says he is trying as hard as he can, and I believe him, I just think he is lacking a little more drive and positive energy. I have been quietly keeping this to myself for as long as I could and today I confronted him and told him what I thought. I told him he needs to see the situation more positively and focus on the opportunities instead of worrying about how we are going to pay for this and that. I said I was disappointed that he seemed low and feeling like he had “tried everything” because there were 1000000000000000000000 more possibilities out there. He felt bad and left. He has been gone for hours and it is pouring rain outside.

I am not wrong for thinking what I think, I was wrong for the way that I communicated it. It was probably an expression of my frustration and probably a little worry too, but I lost control of my communication and I also lost a very valuable member of my community (i.e. my family). I’m not too worried because he’ll probably be back soon and we love each other and have made a commitment to each other and I’ll just have to apologize and explained what I have learnt from this experience. Nevertheless, an avoidable situation.

Why not tell him to get out of the kitchen if he can’t handle the heat? Because I want him in my kitchen, I NEED him there. Just like 30BAD NEEDS people like Neet and Michele if it is going to thrive. So iin order to build bridges and not burn them, sometimes we need to be a little more careful of how we word things. We all know your hearts in the right place and at the end of the day we are all fighting for thre same cause, it's just that some people have different ways of doing it.

I hope this finds you well,

In fruit and friendship,
Cindy

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Permalink Reply by DURIANRIDER on September 9, 2009 at 4:59pm

every body needs an anus to function.

if a forum doesnt have an asshole like me, it gets full of distraction crap pretty quickly!! :)

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Permalink Reply by pradtf on September 9, 2009 at 6:06pm

doesn't this put a tremendous onus on the anus?

in fiendship,
prad

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Permalink Reply by fruitsandnumbers on September 27, 2012 at 12:01pm

that's brilliant, prad!
but that's what an anus is for, isn't it?
it is a difficult and ungrateful task his, but also an essential one.
we should thank the anus instead of criticizing him.

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Permalink Reply by cindy on September 9, 2009 at 7:02pm

DR i think you just shat out a kidney

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Permalink Reply by Alexandra on September 10, 2009 at 9:05am

LOL I like that answer!

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Permalink Reply by DURIANRIDER on September 9, 2009 at 4:54pm

neet and michelle didnt want to be on here so they left. thats fine. if they want to be on here and come back, thats fine too.

we just dont want peeps to stay more than they want it themselves. be it on our forum, or planet earth itself. if someone wants to leave, who are we to tell them not too? people gotta do what they want. nobody can follow our heart for us.. :)

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Permalink Reply by Julie Groenewald on September 7, 2009 at 11:18pm

Thanx a million for you post Durianrider, I am also a newbie who wants to succeed on the LFRV mostly 100% fruitarian diet. I am new to your forum and have also seen the conversations that have been going on here.

Where I have made a post today for instance and nobody has even replied yet but instead like Free says some people like drama more, I guess that is why threads like "Why RGG has gone & left this forum" is getting more than enough replies while proper discussions are overlooked completely.

I agree with Durianrider and Freelea, lets work together and make this an exclusive Raw forum even if you are still like me working towards 100%. Lets help each other in a positive way, and add value to each others lives. Else, I think a lot of people will be leaving also.

Health is the only thing you cannot put a price on therefore let's be responsible and be of help to each other. Like Durianrider says there are people who are really ill and need professional assistance. I humbly ask as a newbie that if a person cannot discuss anything with quality and value adding weight in it, rather do not discuss anything at all. Lets all act as the adults we are.

peace
jules♥

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Permalink Reply by Sultana on September 8, 2009 at 2:32am

There's nothing like a Durianrider clarification/pep talk!

Thanks for re-setting the focus.

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Permalink Reply by fruit loves me on September 8, 2009 at 2:33am

Wait, is the durianrider sinbin going to be an actual (virtual) place on this forum? Like there will be a forum at the bottom that says deleted posts? Because that would be funny as hell.

Also, as a suggestion to help newbies (and not newbies) navigate this site better, maybe divide the general chat forum into general chat - health (or diet) related; general chat - non-health/diet related.

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Permalink Reply by TheBananaGirl on September 8, 2009 at 1:14pm

Also, as a suggestion to help newbies (and not newbies) navigate this site better, maybe divide the general chat forum into general chat - health (or diet) related; general chat - non-health/diet related
yes thanks nice idea Annex, we are working on improvements as like this

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Permalink Reply by fruitloverrunner on September 8, 2009 at 2:40am

Thank you for the post! I appreciate your sincerity to help the rest of us out here who are trying to live a healthy lifestyle!

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