Please help!!! Going to an Italian Restaurant 101..

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Permalink Reply by Lucas on September 30, 2010 at 12:58am

If you go in there with the mind set that you are not going to be satisfied with your "bland and fatty salad" you won't. If you go there with the attitude that this is going to be a great social experience, good food and good friends, it will. It takes awhile to deprogram yourself from past conditioning. If you truly want to continue with a LFRV lifestyle this will be a great test to your motivation and will power over other foods. Bring a bag of fruit to eat before you go in, it is real easy to order a plain salad at a restaurant I do it all the time. You just tell the waiter exactly what you would like on the salad and do it with a smile, most people are more than happy to accommodate you.

Good Luck

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Permalink Reply by Ivan on September 30, 2010 at 1:42am

Hi Rich, choosing this lifestyle will put you often in a position where you are confronted with such things (if you are social person even more)...

If you have troubles explaining your position and choosing what is best for you you are likely having a hard time stick to this diet... you will never find strength in compromising your eating habits - quiet the contrary... maybe all you need to do is to learn get over the first times and moments where you feel uncomfy and such,, face it... Its helpful to come from a active position rather than being passive there eating your salad in a shy way-- you will kinda "shock" them, have a bit of frictions here and there but people will actually respect you bit more in time..., they wont agree but you will feel ok afterwards... and its getting easier and easier youll see.

this diet is all about abundance and health, imagine a world of durians, coconuts, mangoes and sunshine...

ps.
grab some bananas and ask for a salad without dressing,, salt etc. you can fill up on tomatoes and cucumbers and greens and ask for a lemon too. italian restaurant usually have good quality of fresh veggies. you may even find fruit there!!

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Permalink Reply by Derek on September 30, 2010 at 2:44am

This type of thing isn't too hard.

a) You don't have to explain your diet to anyone. Leave it very open ended.

One of the reasons people will ask you about your and ruthlessly quiz you on it is because they want to know what they are doing is alright.

"I really like fruit." Theres an explanation. "I get my protein from the food I eat." If they ask where you get your protein from. Just come up with a lot of basic answers w/o getting in to a technical biological debate.

b) Eat a large meal of fruit beforehand. Order a salad and water at the restaurant. Usually the cheapest choices too!

c) Don't feel bad about it. You're there to enjoy the company of others. Not to debate over your diet.

Over the last week, I've had two cooked meals. One at a vegan restaurant and one at a potluck and I felt like I had a hangover the next day. These weren't 'binges' they were just going out with friend and being social.

I'm learning how to prepare for these events a little bit more and the social aspect of eating LFRV is improving as I'm placing a higher standard for myself on what feels good to me rather than being socially accepted.

It takes time :)

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Permalink Reply by Mini Rawvegan on September 30, 2010 at 3:19am

Rich
I take my own food to restaurants all of the time but I realise that it may not be for everyone. If I had to eat something cooked anything with grains would not be a choice that I would make as I feel that cooked veg does less harm.
I have given up alcohol as well (and I know that it is hard in this country) and I can assure you that after a while the only thought you will have is "why did I ever drink in the first place". I love being alcohol free and I enjoy a good party just as much without it.

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Permalink Reply by Ness on September 30, 2010 at 3:57pm

Hi Rich
Funny....i was asked out to an Italian restaurant a couple of weeks ago. I agree with the others above.
I ate a yummy smoothie at home before i left and asked for a green salad...no dressing. I also had sparkling water and totally enjoyed the fun atmosphere.
I lived with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Irritable Bowl for almost 5 years (and probably longer! 5 years ago is when i gave up stimulants like sugar, coffee, alcohol etc and not having 'the props' took me to the reality of how sick and tired my body actually was).
Anyway finding the LFRV lifestyle has been like a glorious gold key that has opened the jail door of a CFS existence!
I am in LFRV 100% and both feet in. I'm about 1 month in i think, and today, for the first time in over 5 years i jogged for 20-30 minutes! 5 weeks ago i could barely walk 20 mins! and that was only because i was HFRV.
I couldn't exercise for years let alone work up a sweat like i did today; it was so cool to see a red face in the mirror when i got home!
Anyway, the moral of all that is i have learnt to put MY health above people pleasing or caring about what other people/family/or friends think of the way i choose to eat. If i did, i would still be resting all day and living no life.
If people do ask, i usually say i need to eat a certain way for medical reasons at the moment. I usually keep answers very brief. Ladies (in particular) seem to stick their faces in my food and say "What ARE you eating?"....now i just say "a lovely salad with lots of goodies"....then they say "wow you're so healthy!!"...and i say "Yep" with a big grin on my face.
Anyway Rich i swear by this way of eating, it's like day and night for me, and others around me are noticing huge differences in my face already...my flatmate wants to eat more raw, plus she's totally into my green juices, so much so that she bought a new juicer!
Be confident in your choices and put your health before others' opinions.
You deserve good health and to live a full life.
You will most likely be a walking testimony of great health and hopefully help someone else out of a sick lifestyle
I find if i don't care and am confident in my choices then others care less. The more fuss and insecure i am around food the more people are around me also.

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Permalink Reply by Ayla on September 30, 2010 at 6:25pm

Your friends love you for the same reason we all love you, because you are you, not because of a SAD diet or alcohol consumption. Every single one of the people that love you wants you to be healthy and happy for the rest of your life. If you drink sparkling water with a slice on lime in it and order a salad without dressing and salty condiments, they not only understand, they actually support you. At first someone might be taunting you with regular food, but once you get to third dinner party, happier and better looking than ever, people are going to start ordering veggie pizza instead of "triple meat, triple cheese".
I always thought it would look weird to others, that wherever we go I'm the only one that gets a salad and ask for a piece of lemon to squeeze over it instead of dressing or ask if they have a fruit platter on their dessert menu. Turns out NOBODY cares. I'm drinking soda water with lime at a bar and everyone just thinks I have a Gin & Tonic in my hand. At the end of the night everybody is really happy that I can get the one person who got too drunk for his own good safely in a cab and tell the driver the correct address without slurring.
When they ask you questions just say "This diet just makes me feel amazing, I finally know what it feels like to not be tired all the time and suffer from really serious health problems. I can't not give this a try."
Instead of being defensive when they want detailed answers, like where is your protein coming from, smile and answer them "I had the same questions in the beginning, and was completely amazed when I found out it is vegetables in adequate amounts. The fact that I don't feel fatigued from some kind of protein deficiency convinced me."
Keep it light and easy and know that their questions are human curiosity, not attacks, even if it feels just like the opposite.
Smile and enjoy your dinner and your favorite friends.

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Permalink Reply by Jonathan on September 30, 2010 at 10:51pm

Hi Rich,

I think there has been alot of very good advice here. If I could add anything to it I would say don't put yourself under too much pressure. There is nothing healthy about feeling all alone and different from everyone because you eat some weird diet. But everything is healthy about feeling relaxed and totally confident in your choices by eating the best diet in the world, whatever the company. That takes time. I can be like it with some people and find it harder with others. Two things make a difference in how I feel socially - 1) I'm with my friends and family, and when i say friends and family I mean the ones that know you through and through. They're upto date with what's going on in your life. I can feel totally confident to eat however I want infront of these people because my diet is old hat to them. If I'm eating raw or if I'm eating cooked food I feel together and accepted/loved. - 2) When 811 is locked in ... you're not yo-yoing, is locked down. It's different with different people I suppose but with me it can take as little as 4 days raw if I've been eating very high raw previously or upto 7 days if I've been eating not so good maybe. The difference is here that I could eat 811 infront of anyone and feel relaxed, confident etc .... not because I should do, but because I am. Eating that way makes you like that. So what am I getting at here? I would previously try to eat raw slip up at home maybe, be invited out somewhere and think 'I have to set a good example' and eat 811, feel insecure, feel like I was totally seperate from people etc. The funny thing is about that is that people only see you at your worst ... it's a lie. You're not showing them what this way of life is like ... all you are showing them is your struggle with it. Go at your own pace. Order a pizza, ask for no cheese, more sauce and lots of veggies + get a salad too with the dressing. Once your friends no whats going on with you etc it'll get easier, bit by bit but you should never allow yourself to feel totally isolated, if you feel like that you're taking a step too far.

I'm not saying to just eat cooked food because everyone else does. You have to come out of your comfort zone for change to take place but it's ok to take that challenge in smaller sizes. I hope you some some value in my chaotic response.

And if I can repeat what Ayla wrote 'Smile and enjoy your dinner and your favorite friends.'

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Permalink Reply by Jonathan on October 1, 2010 at 3:51am

'+ get a salad too with the dressing' .... supposed to say withOUT!

That probably looked quite arrogant.

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Permalink Reply by DURIANRIDER on September 30, 2010 at 10:35pm

Eat a 3000calorie fruit meal before you go. That way you can crank out the passionate conversations and pull an all nighter if need be cos your carbed up and ready to rawl.

Ive had heaps of vegan pizza and pasta dishes with a tomato base. Funny thing was that 100% of the time I wanted something sweet afterwards..

I use to buy poor quality fruit cos thats all I knew. My mate Clinton introduced me to real quality fruit and then it just went from there.

Here is my recipie for a 3000cal smoothie.

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Permalink Reply by Rich 2.0 on October 2, 2010 at 11:16pm

Hiya,

thanks so much for all the advice guys. I'll defo find myself reading through this to help me get through my 811 apprenticeship :) By the end of the night I was so excited that I made it through it!

First of all, I ate my usual number of calories for the day, munched down on a few dates which I had soaked. (I guess they are still okay to have give my candida :$) We got to the restaurant, narrowly missed an encounter with some celebratory champaign, and ordered a salad to be made up. It was tiny!! It was the waiter's first night so he was very nervous, He just brought me a side salad with an extra two ingredients added in, and no lemon which I had asked for. Instead some garlic mayo... avoided like the plague :D

Sparkling water and juice saw me fit for 2 bars after, when we got to the second bar it was so noisy and drunken that after a while I really wanted to bale out.... I didn't. Stuck it out. By the time the night was done I felt like I was the drunken one, not the people around me. Hyper hyper!!! :D I grabbed a banana and strawberry smoothie on the way back, satisfy some hunger and had some dates when I got back.

So glad that I made it through, first full night raw and alcohol free. Feels like a milestone, especially in Ireland, the land of the drink!!! :D

Thanks friends,
Rich

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Permalink Reply by Derek on October 2, 2010 at 11:32pm

Excellent Rich!

That is definitely a great milestone.

Time for a celebratory drink... of water!

good job man and keep it up

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Permalink Reply by Rich 2.0 on October 2, 2010 at 11:40pm

Oh, and another thing, while I was in the second pub.. I had a bit of a revelation. My social life seems to be centered way too much towards going to the same pub etc every other weekend. Well, tomorrow I'm going to bring everyone who was in the pub with me yesterday out for a trek in the mountains, get out of the city for a while! :)

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