I broke up with my partner tonight.
It was horrible. I still love him, but it's not going to a place where I want it to go - now he HATES me. And I know he will continue to hate me....this kills me - I lost my best friend.
We just want such different things - we get along in so many ways but it's not enough to sustain it for me - please help me, I need support, I feel sick over this, I have never done this before. I'm 34 and NEVER done this! I feel terrible and awkward and like a horrible person - I just hurt the person I love in the worst possible way, and now he hates me.
I dunno what to do, I want to be sick, but I know nothing will change.
I'm sorry Fae,
I hope for the best for you.
Don't know what to say,
don't have any advice
just want you to know my thoughts are with you.
Im so sorry. It hurts to have to let someone you love go. You are not a horrible person, sometimes we have to put ourselves first and what we need at the top of the list. Perhaps take some time to meditate or take a walk in nature to clear your thoughts. xoxo
Love is many different things. If it were a true, deep love, you wouldn't have broken up with him. It could be a friendship type love, caring etc. Sometimes it's painful because we invested time with the person. You must've truly felt you needed a change, and that was your first step. I'm there at the moment but I've been breaking it to him slowly that this is no longer permanent, not to depend on me so much etc. I've withdrawn and yes, I feel the hate sometimes, which on his part is really hurt...which leads to baggage coming out from other relationships.
You can only take care of you, and keep reminding yourself that you're not horrible. The most horrible thing you could do to yourself is what I did, which was give and give and bend until there's nothing left. I was always the versatile mature one who could do that, and ended up having that 'expected' of me. One day I just said no more & realized I'd be dealing with another person's childish emotions and backlash. Just keep thinking "not my problem" and continue to be positive. Eventually, if he gets over the initial shock, he'll see your positive attitude & he'll have no choice but to accept you the way you are. Who I'm dealing with right now isn't vegan, he's not into health, he likes to drink moderately but still, it's a dead end I don't want a part of. Letting go is letting me live. The ones we break up with will find their own way. It gets better. It really does! Love to you & if it helps, I'm dealing with the same thing.
Thanks everyone - I am really having a rough time. I want so much for it to work - but I just don't see how it can - but the love is there. Is love enough? I don't even know what's normal because my whole life I've had messed up situations and I have no clue if what I have is normal or not....in some ways I know it isn't, but in other ways it's the best relationship I've found (I know I can trust him 100% for one thing) - now I am back out in the world of uncertainty....
When I found him, he was exactly what I was looking for. Now I don't know. If I hadn't changed, I wouldn't have left.
thank you so much.
we did talk the next day. he is willing to work on things.
it's a super weird situation, I was sure I wanted to leave, but the next day I was unsure, which led to us talking about it on an intellectual level instead of an emotional crazy one.
Thank you everyone for your comments, I value your insights.
Well I am sorry to hear that, but is it bc. of your lifestyle?
Well funny is I met an amazing guy rawfooder and ended up with not a rawfooder. I sometimes though how stupid I was, coz I am more connected somehow with the one I didnt end up finally. But I believe in my choice and I should stand it, it sais in good and bads. And I also come a bad time with my disease and he didnt left and could left for a "better".
Nope, none of my reasons were due to lifestyle - he has been nothing but supportive of my lifestyle and he has become full-vegan within the last few months (he was vegetarian before - he just wasn't anal about ingredients in things like breads, crackers, etc, and may have had cheese or eggs once a year).
There were other issues and he wants to work on them, so we are back together.
Love is the solution for everything. That includes loving yourself.
you didn't hurt him. he is choosing to be hurt. you are just choosing your path.
We all need to take responsibility for the pain we do cause others and ourselves,whether intended or not.