I may be traveling there in under 10 days and want to eat high fruit. Hear that the fruit is amazing but was wondering if any of you had firsthand experience doing 80/10/10 in India?
I'm going to be in the south for the most part. I need some beach and sun so bad!
Permalink Reply by SuperduperCucumberLover!..=) on the fruit sounds great but the other stuff sounds pretty shocking.. great info!
Permalink Reply by SuperduperCucumberLover!..=) on It's strange that people dont approve of public displays of affection and then you also have to worry about being grabbed and stuff.. Do you know if there is a part of India that is more western or less concerned with judging white people?
if you go to more tourist travel places there will be less obvious staring and judgement. but it is just a cultural thing. I see it in Canada and Australia to towards non-white people. It's our nature, we star at things that are not common to us.
I have been in relationships with african, indian, and lastly my nepali man. Each one solicited a hell of a lot of crap from strangers on the street, and I mean in western predominantly white countries.
Neither of us care about colour but there is no sense in pretending these issues don't exist.
It has to be realized that women are treated and respected in a different way in these countries. You would NEVER seen an Indian man grab an Indian women walking down the street. But really the portrayal of white women is disgusting in these countries.
Its like in Canada and the US, my generation and the one following me are growing up thinking that all brown skinned men with a turban or eastern women in hijabs or the like are simple minded terrorists. Obviously this is not true. I've yet to meet a muslim man or woman I did not find wonderful and interesting to be around. We know it is not true but it how they are portrayed in mainstream media so has become our initial sub-conscience response. If you grew up only seeing blonde, white women being the top prostitute flitting from man to man, you'd think the same thing. C'mon, even in our culture we see blonde women as "easier"! haha
It's a bit funny after a while and you get used to it. Just stay calm and do not take it personally.
Permalink Reply by SuperduperCucumberLover!..=) on why were people so concerned with you being a prostitute? and what is up with the marriage certificate? why was it their business?
Permalink Reply by Rachel Moore on Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to type this out!
I am probably going to be alone for the first bit and be in more touristy areas in Goa during that time. My boyfriend is Gujrati (India-Persia border heritage) but born in Tanzania and raised in Canada. He's very dark, definitely looks Indian...whereas I am very fair and have bleached blonde hair at the moment. I have heard that people will stare but that if I am with a brown guy I will get a bit more respect from locals. He speaks Katchi and Gujrati and a little Hindi.
Honestly I am nervous being alone in India for the first bit, I got so much aggressive unwanted attention in Italy that turned me off to the culture. But then also when I was with said boyfriend in Italy I also got a lot of weird looks from especially the older population. Lose/lose. lol. As long as I am not in danger I don't mind people having their opinions.
Ok...I do not want to dishearten you..but you WILL NOT GET MORE RESPECT.
I am sorry, but that is a lie. HE will get hyped up by the locals for "snagging a white girl" as it is seen as a very difficult thing, but you will not be seen or talked about in a good light. Some may accept, but most will not. It is the reality. This may be crude by I often had women go after my husband because they think if he can be with a white girl he has a big penis. It is the silliest and stupidest thing but it's a stereotype. But we got that A LOT. Enough times that it wasn't just a random joke.
It is such an old and sacred culture that for anyone to be with an "outsider" is a betrayal and shameful to the general population. You have to be strong and be proud while by his side. This generation is coming around and is more understanding, accepting, and respectful, but do not expect anything less than disapproval from older generations.
Is he traditional? If raised in Canada it may be easier for him. As hubby was born in Nepal and lived there until going to Australia for school sat 21 it is very difficult to show affection in public, and absolutely zero in his home country, in front of family he can barely acknowledge me. But such in the culture. What religion does he adhere to if any? Is he himself hindu? I am not familiar with Gujrati. I must say I am relieved to hear you will be accompanied by someone who at least looks Indian and can speak some hindu. Huge relief. Stay in the tourist areas until your boyfriend is there.
Really, I am all for female equality and empowerment but we cannot go to countries that do not have those social laws and expect them to conform with our wishes. I would not say they are dangerous places for western women to be in but you need to be aware and be careful. Once your boyfriend is there be a bit more carefree.
I know I may come off all doom and gloom but I do encourage anyone and everyone to go. It's a chance of a life time and really opens your eyes. All of the social aspects I talk about don't "have" to adhered to. I followed them all because I chose to marry into this culture and would prefer to have a civil and respectful relationship with my in laws rather than create friction because of my western upbringing. it's bad enough they hate me for being white I don't want them to think I'm above living the way Hindu people do and allowing my husband to keep his customs. haha
Stay at the better hotels and only go out in the daylight hours. Don't even let the thoughts of going out at night cross your mind until he is there with you. Visit the markets, keep on main roads, follow other tourists if you can, visit local temples, etc. Just keep it safe for awhile ok?
Have the best of times and keep on cherishing how much having a man from such wonderful part of world the can be.
- Adrienne
Permalink Reply by Rachel Moore on Yeah, I wondered about that myself. Thanks for clarifying...
He was born in Zanzibar but raised in Canada and very North-Americanized (but LOVES India and has traveled everywhere)...
You mentioned you had issues with authorities accusing you of being a prostitute but were saved by the marriage license. We aren't married. Should I be worried about this? I definitely am going to be super wary of showing affection in public but it's going to be obvious that we are traveling together.
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