Hey there my fruity brethren,
This is my first post on 30BAD and while I want to introduce myself and get chatty with all of the wonderful people I know I'm going to meet here, but my health comes first in this situation. I know it's a long read but please bare with me.
I've been vegetarian since I was 13, vegan for two years, HCRV since early this year, and recently 80/10/10 but for the past couple of months, I've had a strange feeling in my head. At first, I didn't pay any mind to it because the symptoms were common to me and it didn't seem all that threatening but now it is a full-blown nightmare that I just want gone immediately. The biggest issue I have had is a sucking feeling/feeling like there's a lack of oxygen in my brain. Everyone I've talked to calls it a 'headache' but it isn't one, not to me at least. There is very little pain, it just feels like my brain is swelling or in serious trouble, I know it is because it is so severe now and it affects everything. The next biggest issue is the fact that I've had many heart palpitations within the last five or so months. This was diagnosed firstly as stress/anxiety/panic attacks, since I've been prone to them in the past, but it's gotten increasingly worse over time and completely uncontrollable, I never know when my heart is going to self-destruct next. I'm just going to cut to the chase with the other symptoms I've been experiencing on & off during each day and list them here as there are too many:
If I left any out, then so be it, but you can get the general idea as to why I'm freaking out here. Last night I felt like I was going to faint, like literally faint because this brain issue got so bad, it's getting worse and worse every night. Something interesting here is that when I eat large fruit/green meals, the symptoms seem to be weakened for a few hours but then return immediately afterward and they are worst at night, before bed. It's worthy to note that I do have a vitamin D deficiency but I have been supplementing for almost a month now with 10,000 IU vegan D3 daily and getting sun whenever possible (it's cloudy as hell here for some reason this year). I recently had extensive blood work done to check on my current health. I have improved leaps and bounds going HCRV and the results proved it with everything reading perfect EXCEPT for my vit. D, however upon leaving the doctor I also noticed that my b12 was quite low at a score of 205 and even though I know the proper test to figure out my real b12 levels was not performed, I feel as if low b12 might be playing a role in all of this.
Late last week/early this week, I've had some scares with all of this. First, I woke up to heart palpitations (not out of a nightmare, just a strangely peaceful dream), which has never happened before and I immediately began breathing exercises to try and quell them. They did not improve, only worsened doing this and I got up to walk around and calm myself down. At this time, my left arm went numb and began to spasm. I thought I was having a heart attack but convinced myself it was just a severe palpitation and that everything was going to be alright but then my body went into chills and I started having tremors. So I drank some water and laid down flat, with everything off and the window open. Within around two hours, it was completely gone. The next incident was just that night as I was sitting in bed talking to my mother about what had happened that morning. Without any warning, I felt a lightning bolt (this is what it felt like to me) pierce my brain, then my heart and fizzled out down my lower abdomen. It was there and gone in an instant, but the pain I felt in that instant was unlike anything I had ever felt, it was so severe and scary. The last incident was two days ago when I went with my grandmother to an Asian buffet (they have raw fruit there) and right when we were about to pull in, my brain felt as if it were going to explode. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I don't blow things out of proportion or exaggerate in regards to my health. I am honest in saying that my brain felt as if it were swelling and my head was going to explode. I never, ever want to feel these things again and just thinking & typing about them is making my heart beat faster.
I have this eerie feeling that this has been going on for years but is just now coming to a head, due to the fact that I've been experiencing toned-down versions of symptoms like these on and off for many years, though they've always been passed off by doctors as panic attacks, anxiety, vertigo, paranoia, etc. I can tell you that the doctors where I live probably should not be practicing or considered professionals. I live in the south (U.S.) and here doctors are very quick to pass off symptoms as meaningless or they will generalize them. It's a "get 'em in, diagnose 'em, give 'em the latest drug, then get 'em out" type of medical environment here and I've had to go to Nashville (capital of my state) to get anything done in past years. My doctor didn't even pay attention to me when I visited him last week regarding this issue and was expressing my concerns and symptoms. His assistant even went as far as to argue with me about how I was wrong and had generalized anxiety disorder (don't get me wrong, I know it may look like that from a distance but it isn't if you bother stepping close and examining me). He insisted I see a cardiologist, even though in his words "There's nothing wrong with your heart." and I had to insist many times on seeing a neurologist until he caved. It's no surprise that I had to make the neurologist appointment myself and that he is taking his time on the referral for that particular appointment only. I never get angry but these 'doctors' are pissing me off. You can mess with me all you want, but messing with my health, especially when I'm in such a vulnerable position right now. I can even tell typing now that something is wrong with me. I used to be so articulate and now my words just seem jumbled together and dumbed down.
Anyway, I won't go any further and will leave it at that. If you read through all of this, major kudos to you and I love you for it. I will try and respond to comments but all I feel like doing right now is lying in my bed. Thank you for your help.
I just wanted to take a moment to respond to a post that you wrote yesterday. I have a dear friend who is going through some issues and finally ready to do whatever it takes to heal some serious candida and chronic pain. She just started the mono fruit thing 5 or so days ago at my suggestion. She has been really working on changing her lifestyle (including her livelihood and is training in a new career) and changing relationships, etc.
I sent her some links and she ended up joining this board and posting yesterday, that she was new to 80-10-10 and excited, and that she has a history of eating disorders and medications, and is in a lot of pain, and she'd love to get some advice and hear from people here who healed candida.
Durianrider responded a couple lines that it sounds like she trashed her body and she shouldn't get her hopes up—without knowing more than a few lines of her history. She immediately withdrew from this board and quit 80-10-10 (though she will continue to eat more fruit than she used to because it feels good to her) and now is back to taking fistfuls of acid pills with every meal and trying to figure out where to turn next.
Durianrider I know you probably get discouraged by people with lots wrong with them and not willing to do enough, or maybe in some cases healing is not possible. But she didn't even have terminal cancer or something (which people do heal from sometimes btw). Just history of EDs and drug use and candida.
I have really been enjoying the community here but this attitude centered around immediately assuming someone's possibilities for healing are so limited, seems pretty lame. Or did we both misinterpret your meaning?
Dania, I know your post was directed to DR and I understand where you are coming from but you can't blame him directly for your friend's actions. "Durianrider responded a couple lines that it sounds like she trashed her body and she shouldn't get her hopes up—" If she ran away at the first sign of opposition and is back on taking fistfulls of this pill and that pill and being frantic, then she should not get her hopes up and I will tell you why. She has done years of damage to her body by abusing it with the things you mentioned and she is obviously looking for a quick fix- She will find none. 80/10/10 is never a quick fix for anything and as DR mentions above, it might just take years for her to recover. Your friend must change her mindset if she truly wants to heal from this and understand that quick fixes don't exist.
Chivalry, Thanks for the reply and the interesting perspective. And yeah that's true, blame isn't right. Sorry DR. I think his feedback was just the final push for her to give up because the pain hadn't improved in a few days (although she did notice her digestion was wayyyy better). I was just pretty surprised by the lack of encouragement. She wasn't looking for an overnight fix but looking for signs she was going in the right direction or testimonials from others who had recovered from a bad place. Too bad she didn't get to read any. Well I guess she'll find her way back to raw if she's meant to.
I understand and I hope she does find her way back to raw and hopefully 80/10/10. I feel like crap right now, but I'd dread to think of what I'd feel like with this and not being 80/10/10, it's just a fountain of healing and maybe your friend can see this in due time. DR & Free really do care, they just practice 'tuff love', which I know can be easily misinterpreted by many people. It's good she has a fruity friend like you to support her in the meantime, though.
amen DR. I do struggle a lot and I do turn it on and off whenever I get focus on the diet and lifestyle, but I was a moron and didnt want to change lifestyle coz it cause me lots of friends loss and love and so on. But I hope it worth it:).
Your comment moved me, KB, thank you so much. I am most definitely a spiritual person. Reading this took my mind off the extreme discomfort of all of this and that is priceless right now. Prayer has definitely been a staple in the road to recovery for me so far, I feel better when I pray for guidance through this, even if for just a few minutes. You aren't disregarding my issues at all, you're only doing what you're meant to do obviously, be a guiding light. Thank you again, I would love it if you would pray for me, that means a lot.
What is your state of consciousness like when these things come about? Does it pull you out of the world and into your body? Are you constantly monitoring physical sensations in your body, fearful of the next event?
Hello, Chris. I wouldn't say that the issues themselves pull me out of the world and into my body, but more-so I have to pull myself out of the world and into my body to deal with the situation because it is so frightening at that moment. I'm not constantly monitoring myself, no, but if I notice something especially irregular in my body, I do take note. I am fearful of the next event but I try my best to just stay in the here and now and deal with the issues as they come, this has helped a lot so far compared to the past where I might just panic over something like this.
I would definitely have more tests done for B12, 205 is on the very far end of normal! If you haven't read "Could it Be B12" by Sally Pacholok, I would highly recommend it.
All of these symptoms sound awful and I hope you figure out what this is! :)
Thanks, Corrtney, I really do agree with you that such a number is nowhere near normal or healthy, I just need my docs to see that too so I can get a perscription and get the b12 rolling in. That book is actually on my list of reads. I can't read awfully long rows of words at once at the moment due to this affecting me so greatly but I'm sure it will come in handy for giving others advice on what do to later on. I appreciate your concern. :)
Why wait for the doc prescription for B12, just go to the nearest store and get some sublingual B12 if you need B12. It works.