Hi there :) I struggled with anorexia for 8 years before i was able to put my health before my weight and commit myself to eating unlimited calories from fruit (bare minimum of 2500 for me as a female). As soon as i started, however, it was no struggle at all! it is amazing what adequate fuel to our cells will bring us. I had never believed that I could overcome my disorder, the obsessive thoughts, the depression and anxiety that came with it. I was soon convinced completely otherwise. I do believe that overcoming my disorder took a huge amount of emotional work; i had to first get to a place where i valued myself enough to believe that i deserved recovery, even if that meant gaining weight. but once i was in this place, i don't believe anything would have taken me the next step of true recovery outside of a high-carb, high-carlorie diet.
I also used to exercise a lot more, and feel an absolute NEED to do so, or else I felt i would just simultaneously melt and explode with the anxiety of not siphoning off my nervous energy. i no longer feel this way. i believe that this is because i was running on adrenaline for many years. when we under-eat, our bodies run off of our adrenal glands, and we are amped up as our bodies are looking for food. Sometimes, when i haven't eaten enough, i get that feeling come on again, like i'm in fight-or-flight mode and my body is ready to move, but it is a very distinct feeling from a healthy desire to exercise, it feels almost empty, like i'm running "on an empty tank" which honestly used to be extremely addictive, it was a kind of high. Now, when i feel this way i just eat some fruit and feel instantly calmed, my cells get fed and the flight mode gets turned off.
I hope some of this helps :) if you want to chat i am more than willing to talk more!
What a great testimony Hannah!
I also had anorexia many years ago, and what you describe with the need to exercise, and the running on an empty tank as being addictive, etc, in fact, everything you describe I have felt it too! That´s fantastic that you have recovered!
thank you :) it is truly a new life. Like i said before i do think there is much personal work that goes into recovery, but I believe eating out species-specific, carb-rich diet is indispensable!
Yes, this diet helps to not be afraid to eat. Although I had recovered from anorexia before I even heard of the raw diet. But I know what you mean. Thanks for the links to your videos :-).
Wow, so I just went back and found this post that I started almost 3 years ago and realized that I never replied to you! 3 years later and I'm still struggling just as much as ever and I really need some help!
I would love to chat with you if your offer still stands!
i wonder if i have exercise issues. I run at least an hour a day i cant live without it. it helps me keep my sanity but i question if i do it to much. i feel just fine great even. I just question it. If i dont run i get really antsy really edgy and honestly straight up pissed off.
but ions of people run dialy and are just fine so to say I have a problem i'm like well do they all have a problem too?
curious what the definition of compulsive excercise is really.
it depends, do you run to lose weight, or because you enjoy it?
When I had anorexia and "had to" exercise and move all the time, it wasn´t a pleasure, it was an obligation. And like Hannah writes "I used to feel an absolute NEED to do so, or else I felt i would just simultaneously melt and explode with the anxiety of not siphoning off my nervous energy."
So, do you run because you are very anxious that you will put on weight or not lose weight otherwise?
Be careful that you are not running on adreline. Otherwise your body will crash one day: burn out.
I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to running-I tend to do it whether I feel like it or not. If I can't do it for some reason, I get really bad anxiety and guilt and start restricting my food intake. Any suggestions?
I know it is hard, but you need to let go of this fear to put on weight. I don´t see an other way really. Stop exercising so much, even if it means you will have the feeling that you are going to explode! Every person who has really recovered from Anorexia/ bulimia had to accept to put on weight at some point. I know, I have been there!
I really relate to your struggle. I am a gratefully recovered compulsiver eater (over/under) and exerciser. I went though a patch of running twice a day an hour at a time and completely buggered up my shins, but couldn't stop. I now help others recover as part of my service of gratitude. I really relate to your story of obsession - my life was so run by it that there wasn't a lot of room for anything else. I've posted a link to an article I wrote recently about this very topic, if you're interested. It's more about food obsession as opposite to exercise addiction, but IMO they have the same root cause, which is what you have to address.
Happy to help you and anyone else struggling with it in any way I can.
Thanks Dandelion. I would love to hear more about how you managed to completely overcome these mental struggles.