Help! I've relapsed!!

So I know in my heart that this lifestyle is the solution. I know it's the right thing to do.

It's just so hard!

I know nobody likes a whiner, but I was taken by suprise I guess. When I first started this things were going great, I felt better, had more energy, and was excited about this adventure. It was a very drastic change from my on-and-off SAD diet, but I enjoyed it. I loved the dates, the bananas, the orange juice, everything. I was eating about 90% raw most days with a few 100% raw days thrown in there.

I'm really not sure what happened. Maybe none of you do either, but I just wanted some insight I guess.

I can't stand the idea of any fruit. Bananas and dates are repulsively sweet and mushy, I can only drink about 8oz of OJ at a time, and I simply have no desire to eat this way.

If it were up to me, I would probably be fine with that, but my stomach hates me ever since I went back to eating this way. I literally have a constant stomach ache. This was the main reason I started this lifestyle. I am lactose and gluten- intolerant, and although I have given in to the temptation to eat meat twice over the past week, it made me feel disgusting and honestly I just don't really like the taste anymore.

But that hasn't stopped my 24/7 binge on cooked vegan food (and eggs). Gummy worms, starbursts, super salty fried tortilla chips, gluten free waffles, chocolate, basically anything but fruit that we have in the house. I can feel my candida explosively growing, but I don't know how to stop.

I know how stupid this sounds, really I do. If I just went back to HCRV, all of these problems would be solved. It's just my willpower. Suddenly I am compulsively giving in to every impulse.

So is it this hard for everyone? Because people are always saying how it's hard to find fruit, and venting about the ignorance of the SAD people, but I've never heard that it was so hard just to eat the food.

Am I just not cut out for this lifestyle?

Tags: Struggling, an, is, understatement

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Permalink Reply by TheGirlWithOneArm on June 24, 2012 at 8:30am

Wow I didn't expect so many replies! Thank you all so much, it means the world to me to have your support. I just bought a watermelon to bring to my friend's house for dinner. I think I'm getting back on track.

peace, love, bananas,

Sadie

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Permalink Reply by Isabella Tomberella on June 24, 2012 at 8:47am

:) That's awsome. That's why we are all here, for support!

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Permalink Reply by Kristi McKee on June 24, 2012 at 8:01am

I hit this wall before. 5-10 times that i tried. I had tried fruitarian OVER AND OVER and kept going back because "fruit disgusted me" after a while.

I sit here today MIRACULOUSLY 100% Low fat raw vegan for 1.5 months and doing well BECAUSE of one VERY simple tool.

A Blender.

Honestly, once i started blending, my world opened up. Trying to be LFRV while EATING bananas and dates was absolutely repulsing to me. HATED it. NEVER ate enough calories, NEVER ate enough fruit. Only wanted things like salads, heavy raw foods, and would eventually go back to cooked (furthest i had ever gone was 12 days LFRV and i was SOO craving foods because i was eating like 8 bananas a day with some berries here and there.

NOW what i do, BLEND 15-20 bananas, OJ and berries, or other fruit together, into a BIG awesome beautiful COLD smoothie. Honestly, it has made a WORLD of difference. Make sure your fruit is RIPE but not OVER ripe. (noone likes fruit thats pudding-y and tastes fermented)

I am eating roughly 1,500 - 2,000 JUST for breakfast now. I am able to back in WAY more fruit, and i am NOT disgusted by it. I crave it now. I was a HUGE HUGE HUGE candy, cheesey, JUNK eater before. Obese, unhappy, SICK, having FREQUENT gallbladder attacks, vomiting often due to illness. A typical day for me BEFORE would look like:

Breakfast: Eggs, vegetarian sausage, fried potatoes, toast with butter and jelly, and oj to drink. ALL of it covered in ketchup.

Lunch would be like a veggie burger with cheese, ranch, fries, all fried and mayo and mustard and lots of condiments.
Snack would be like chips, cookies etc.
Dinner would be ... fettucini alfredo, with cheesey texas toast or mac and cheese, bread, or phad thai from a restaurant and dessert almost EVERY night was a pint of haggen daz ice cream. with ZERO raw fruits and veg. and ZERO anything healthy

Now my day looks like:

Breakfast: 15-20 bananas, with some orange juice and berries or pineapple, mango, strawberry and papaya blended into a smoothie

Lunch: Cucumbers with a homemade 1/4 avocado dressing to dip in (sort of like a raw guacamole with less avocado) (maybe 3-4 cucumbers worth)

Dinner: 6-8 Nectarines, or 1/2 a watermelon. Or more smoothie (depending on what i feel like eating)

Honestly, i had to make myself realize that that other Sh!t is not an option. Its not food. It doesn't fuel me. Its making me SICK and killing me. (was getting pre-diabetic symptoms, feeling REALLY sick, at the point of surgery to remove gallbladder)

This lifestyle can be as hard or as easy as you make it. Allow yourself some cooked transition food. Potatoes and rice. Allow yourself salt. Let yourself eat a bit too much fat. There IS a transition period that you can use. Its better to eat a bit more fat in nuts, avocados etc than eat potato chips, fries, and candy. Just remember, it took a LONG time for your body to get this way, and it will take just as long to get out. it WILL become second nature to do it. Just remember, this is your LIFE. There is no "falling off, relapsing etc" Sometimes you do something a little off, sometimes you do it right.

Just look at the fruit as if it is the BEST thing in the world. Blend, make recipes. Just eat as low fat and raw vegan as possible.

Honestly, if you need any help, support, advice, just private message me or anything like that. =] Good luck, i know it SEEMS hard, but eventually, it won't. you will feel awesome and look awesome and that other food will look like the junk it is. <3 good luck