So I know in my heart that this lifestyle is the solution. I know it's the right thing to do.
It's just so hard!
I know nobody likes a whiner, but I was taken by suprise I guess. When I first started this things were going great, I felt better, had more energy, and was excited about this adventure. It was a very drastic change from my on-and-off SAD diet, but I enjoyed it. I loved the dates, the bananas, the orange juice, everything. I was eating about 90% raw most days with a few 100% raw days thrown in there.
I'm really not sure what happened. Maybe none of you do either, but I just wanted some insight I guess.
I can't stand the idea of any fruit. Bananas and dates are repulsively sweet and mushy, I can only drink about 8oz of OJ at a time, and I simply have no desire to eat this way.
If it were up to me, I would probably be fine with that, but my stomach hates me ever since I went back to eating this way. I literally have a constant stomach ache. This was the main reason I started this lifestyle. I am lactose and gluten- intolerant, and although I have given in to the temptation to eat meat twice over the past week, it made me feel disgusting and honestly I just don't really like the taste anymore.
But that hasn't stopped my 24/7 binge on cooked vegan food (and eggs). Gummy worms, starbursts, super salty fried tortilla chips, gluten free waffles, chocolate, basically anything but fruit that we have in the house. I can feel my candida explosively growing, but I don't know how to stop.
I know how stupid this sounds, really I do. If I just went back to HCRV, all of these problems would be solved. It's just my willpower. Suddenly I am compulsively giving in to every impulse.
So is it this hard for everyone? Because people are always saying how it's hard to find fruit, and venting about the ignorance of the SAD people, but I've never heard that it was so hard just to eat the food.
Am I just not cut out for this lifestyle?
I can totally relate to this!!! I recently made it to my 19 month anniversary of 100% Raw fruity living & somehow lost my way and spent an entire week shovelling in all sorts of rubbish. I even slipped back to vegetarian :(
In that week I ate zero fresh fruit & vegetables - it was 100% processed crap!!! I feel like a drug addict who's been clean for 19 months and I've had a hit and now the cravings are back!!! For me, it's a matter of all or nothing - so here I go again Cold Turkey. Just remember how good you felt compared to how bad you feel now. Right now i'm chowing down on some golden kiwifruit and they seriously taste sooooooooooo much better than any of the junk I ate during that week!!! If you really are tired of sweet then try making some savoury meals - Zucchini Pasta with Sweet Chilli Sauce and Sweet Corn is my favourite go to savoury meal. The sauce is just dates, tomatoes & a little chilli blended and poured over zuchini noodles and some fresh corn kernels mixed through.
Focus on your health and think of it as your job to take excellent care of yourself and taking excellent care of yourself is not bingeing on processed food!!!
I believe you are (we all are) cut out for this lifestyle. Listen to your whole heart next time you go to eat something that's less than optimal - our heart really does know what is best & as you said - you know in your heart that this lifestyle is the solution!!! and it really is!!!
Right there with you, just spent a weekend stuffing my face with SAD food after almost 2 years perfectly Raw.. in the last 3 days I just couldn't even think about eating any raw fruits or veggies, but cooked veggies were supper appealing.. hitting reset button and starting fresh in the morning.. ugghh.. here we go..
Don't worry, I've been through the same, i'm also trying to attempt to recover by myself, from an ED, unhealthy mind.
It's okay to fall, but it's mandatory to get back up. Don't feel guilty for the relapse, have a warm or cool bath, relax, and begin the next day as nothing ever happened.
We fall when we stop trying, not when we trip.
Try different fruit. Sounds overly simplistic, but it works for me. I love papaya, for example. Bananas and dates are nice calorically, but juicy fruit is a whole different ballpark. It makes raw pleasant again when you're tired of high density low volume fruit like them dates and nanas.
Quote : " I can't stand the idea of any fruit. Bananas and dates are repulsively sweet and mushy, I can only drink about 8oz of OJ at a time, and I simply have no desire to eat this way."
I call this "hitting the wall" and I've also experienced it. What brings down the wall for me is when I start experiencing the symptoms that I left behind from when I was a SAD eater. The return of the SAD health consequences gives me an increasingly strong desire to get back to eating healthy again. Unfortunately, sometimes it can take a while for the cause --> effect of the SAD to get crappy enough to want good health more then processed food but eventually you will feel bad enough on SAD food that it will motivate you to get back to feeling good again.
Here's a motivational video that was posted recently that I like very much :
i think....don't judge your self and whats happened, maybe step back and think to your self... was there something that happened in my life that made me want to? was i just bored and wanted to eat? was i emotional...
just learn from it and move on, it happened and you can change if you do it again but cant change whats already been done!
it's happened to me too and one thing i have noticed is when you are eating so cleanly...when you do have those junk moment you realize that sugar makes you crave more sugar...its seriously a vicious cycle!! so for nothing else than getting you past your craving, i find it easier not even to TASTE something you know you shouldnt have rather than try it then fight with your self about how much you are going to let you self have! :)
Hope that helps!
just keep honoring your body by putting in the good stuff! :)
Mind if I chime in with some sciency and not-so-sciency stuff that might shed light on what might be happening?
I worked at an obesity clinic for a couple of years, and there was a counsellor there who successfully had lost a great deal of weight (like in the hundreds of pounds). I was curious about relapses and asked her about why people, who are seemingly successful with weight loss suddenly relapse back into their old ways, even though they are proud of their accomplishments. Her response was interesting. She remarked that people who have overcome a huge obstacle, like massive weight loss (and I suppose massive health improvements), frequently still have a nagging question in their heads about their self-efficacy: Was adhering to a dietary program the cause of the weight loss? Or was is some sort of fluke? That is, the person questions whether they really have control over themselves by the decisions and actions they take, or whether it was by some uncontrollable fluke that they met with success?
This woman commented that people will often revert back to their old ways to find their answer. They need to confirm that they are really, indeed, in charge of their fate. Does that make sense? Could it be that, when you met with what might be considered unexpected success with 811 you needed to go back to confirm your finding?
Secondly, a physiology article I read tells of a fat hormone (leptin) which functions more-or-less like a fat thermostat in the body. The deal with leptin is that when someone overeats on fatty food, the more that leptin is released, and the more leptin that is released the more you crave fatty foods. It's a vicious circle.
So, could it be that when you returned to your old habits you set off your leptin levels and now it's making you want to stick with these same fatty foods (and steering you away from lfrv) for the satisfying stimulation from the leptin? Accordingly, the antidote is to refuse all fats for several days so that your leptin level can reduce. That will help in decreasing your desire for fatty foods and possibly recover your desire to get back on track.
Very sciency, I know. But maybe understanding what's going on psychologically and physiologically, you can gain greater control over your decisions once again.
Hope this was helpful........ana xoxo
I didn't know the science behind it, but I think we can all say that cooked food is addictive - once we have some, we crave more.
The first part you wrote is interesting as well. :)
Next time you're at the store, get your favorite fruits. Splurge on that. Something you might not usually get. If you mess up, hey, it happens. Keep trying. You've got a lot of people here for you.
Just remember, for your next meal, one fruit at a time. You can have cooked whenever, it's all up to you. Just take it one meal at a time.
If you have a cooked meal and regret it, guess what? There's another meal in a few hours, or in the morning, for you to choose differently. Speaking of morning, I recommend starting with breakfast. The day often follows accordingly with your morning choices. :)
You can do it. Good luck. :)
Thank you, that was really helpful, I think you're absolutely right about that whole thing
What stands out to me is that even though you're eating cooked, processed food, a lot of it still seems to be sweet. Almost certainly because that's what your body's craving. But, like Marco said, maybe you just need some different choices. Or, like Nadia said, try eating more savory things. More salads, more zucchini noodles. Try and transition yourself back into eating more raw foods, and maybe your tastes will change? I'd suggest trying to do that sooner than later, though, as the longer you go without fruit, the harder it's going to be to come back.
For a while, I was flip-flopping from SAD vegetarian to HCRV every two to three months. When I was eating cooked vegetarian, I barely wanted anything to do with fruit, so I know how it goes. At my absolute best, I was having one small smoothie a day, and the rest was pasta, bread, cheese, and more cheese.
But now I'm more than a year and a half into full-on 80-10-10, and feeling fantastic. I hope you find your way to whatever the best outcome is for you, too!
Hideaway, I've been in your shoes for the last 3 weeks. My new boyfriend is a SAD'r and is a "bad influence" on me. But today, I have made myself 3 smoothies for work and packed strawberries and lettuce, I will also have microwaved popcorn. It's a start on the right path again for me.
Have you tried smoothies? You need to remember how bad you feel from cooked food. I also am allergic to gluten, I see why you had tortilla chips and all that candy, no gluten. You can't live on that forever. Go back slowly. You can do it.