four years on...

THE CHALLENGES AND THE REWARDS

We've all had a different journey to get here, we've all had to deal 
with a different set of "character building" challenges, I had sunk to 
the lowest point in my life and I really doubt there was anyway I 
could have gone lower.. I stick the diet and lifestyle because of 
where I've been, I know what I stand to loose by straying, I mean what 
would it matter if I just had one bite of my flat mates beans and 
sausage, or just one sip of my friends" lovely" vegan milk shake.. 
but i never do because the memory of where I have been is enough, 
believe me.

811 is magik, it turned my life around, but it's far from easy, you've 
really gotta want it and not just like the idea of it but really 
really want it for yourself, cuz you've gotta earn it, your gonna have 
to do it for three meals a day every day mostly by yourself surrounded 
by people who eat normal and who will tempt you every step of the way, 
and not only that but your own mind will try and sabotage your 
efforts !! for me the cravings have never gone away, I haven't eaten 
anything "normal" in over four years and still it looks like food, 
still I want it, still I think about it !! But worst ov all I didn't 
realise how special sharing food actually was, when I had it I didn't 
appreciate what it was, to sit and eat the same food at the table, 
sharing... sharing, oh I miss it so so much, even if you are 
surrounded by similar people, what you eat is so important.. maybe 
it's just me and I'm blowing it out ov proportion but a few months 
back I visited someone and we shared some fruit, and it was totally 
amazing, we ate a few boxes of lychees and a tonne of lettuce, and it 
was amazing, I hadn't shared that moment in four years, four long and 
quite lonely years..

So is it worth it..??.. the price is so high, the effort and self 
control needed is beyond most, but the rewards..??.. what can I say to 
convince you, there isn't anything I can say.. all I can say is that 
as hard as it is I stick it, as boring as it seems sometimes (I'm 
actualy satisfied eating the same dam meal over and over and over).. I 
don't cheat or stray even when every fiber of my body is willing it 
and everyone around me is trying to convince me I'm gonna wither away 
and die and that one bite doesn't make a difference, and when my own 
body is saying that my life is not complete without that "whatever"..

It's like what dr doug says, "if you want what other people have got, 
then do what other people do".. and you know what, they don't have 
what I want, none of em have what I want, so why do what they do, why 
listen to what they say..

Why do I do it, why do I try so hard, why do i single myself out..?? 
plain and simple, its the rewards, 811 has given me what I always 
wanted, what I always knew was missing, what I had never felt but 
always knew was out there right there just out of sight and just out 
of reach.. its radiance and energy and hope and passion and love for 
myself and the world around me.. but it's not for everyone, only for 
those who are tired of their old lives, who want something more, who 
want to feel alive and in love with life and themselves, but most 
importantly its only for those who are willing to give things up, pay 
the price, cuz nothing is free and if it offers the best then you can 
dam well be sure it costs the most.. I'm willing to pay the price and 
I'll do it alone if I have to, but it would be nice to make this 
journey they call life with others, I'd love to hold someones hand and 
not feel so alone.. and that's why I say to you, come join me, it's 
totally worth it, to see the world through these eyes, to see yourself 
this way, it makes all the difference, it has turned life into 
something to be excited about, something actually worth living.

Gareth