Do YOU spank your children???

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rawbert on August 11, 2012 at 10:57pm

Share it with people who do..

Permalink Reply by PK on August 12, 2012 at 2:58am

Rawbert,

I will review this later as I have to run out today.

However, I do not agree with spanking.  

First of all, it seems very hypocritical in the society I live in would lock someone up in jail for assault and battery, and sometimes for years, if they hit a stranger on the street or abused another adult the way people abuse their children.  

But get this, in my local school system, they sent home a note saying spanking was not against their rules as long as it does not injure or leave a mark.

I almost flipped my wig.  I had some friends who lived in Eastern Europe during the days of communism and during the cold war.  A few of them survived the concentration camp type of prison they had over there.  One of the techniques of torture was to beat someone with a rubber hose in such a way it does not leave a mark.  

Sigh.  

I wish we lived in more open and relaxed societies like primates do or some tribal people do.  Children should be free to play and run outside and make messes and get dirty.  We have set up our homes like museums and if  Jonny breaks the glass or goes running through the house, he gets spanked.  

Children are very curios and should have freedom of speech.  And yet sometimes when they simply question their parents as to why, they get slapped for back talk. 

And now our educational system.  In tribal systems, what we might label as special needs kids and try to conform to a traditional classroom, would be allowed to roam and play free.  

Thats my rant and I am sticking to it:(

Peace, PK

Permalink Reply by Craig Plunkett on August 12, 2012 at 5:35am

I really feel quite silly and peevish responding to your message just for the following reason, but I just feel a sense of duty in doing so.

I just want to say that the USSR was propagandised to be known as Communism, for the merits of association. 

I'm sorry your friends had to suffer that abomination. 

Permalink Reply by PK on August 12, 2012 at 5:54am

@Graig,

They were not from the USSR.  

Perhaps not everyone under communism suffered, but religious people and political activists did.  In this country, Christians and Muslims were persecuted.  

BTW, my friend from the USSR did see churches and mosques bulldozed including her own.  When I share these stories, it is not from a media or text book point of view, but from people I have actually known.  

Peace, PK

Permalink Reply by Craig Plunkett on August 12, 2012 at 8:39pm

OK, I'm not disputing any happenings or events - just saying that this tyranny is anything but communism.

Permalink Reply by Peter Csere on August 13, 2012 at 3:46am

The clarification is indeed important. It would be like if someone used the American economy as an example of capitalism! I would be enraged. So thank you for making this point Craig, as unnecessary as it may seem to some. 

Permalink Reply by PK on August 13, 2012 at 6:52am

@Peter, 

I am not intending to make a blanket statement about the system of communism.  Rather, I was stating the policies of several communist countries at that time. 

Peace, PK

Permalink Reply by Craig Plunkett on August 13, 2012 at 8:56pm

It wouldn't be much like that, really. Capitalism necessarily equates hyper-consumerism, the theft of an individual's labour value and corporate fascism. 

http://libcom.org/history/one-day-july-remembering-1934-minneapolis...

Permalink Reply by Rawbert on August 16, 2012 at 1:30pm

PK,

I was born in 1978 in Romania (in Transylvania as a Hungarian minority) and I was 11 when Ceausescu's dictatorship ended.

Child an wife abuse was all over the place back then.

We got beat up in the school on a regular basis. Spanking, pinching, hitting, kicking, whatever the preferred method of the teacher was.. they used rulers, pointers, pens, chalk sticks, bare hands, etc.. every teacher had different methods.. our 1-4 grade teacher used a wooden pointer and if it broke on your back YOU had to bring a new one.. some kids were beat up so badly they were bleeding and a lot of them lost their fingernails..

Back then violence was the norm.. men beat up their wives, men/women beat up their children.. police beat up anybody for even a 'bad' political joke.. You got beat up on the streets if you spoke other than the state's official language.. etc, etc.. it was a crazy place/time to live in, yet it seemed 'normal' to us at the time because that was the only reality we knew.. a few years later things changed and I healed but can't say it didn't leave any marks.. so this is why I feel so strongly about these issues because I grew up with violence all around me and I know damn well that it doesn't do any good to any children or adult..

There is always a better way, there is always a peaceful way and at least we as vegans who don't harm animals should use and promote non-violent practices when it comes to children..

I agree with you that children should be brought up in a relaxed and free environment, the current state prisonschool system is a horrible place..

Permalink Reply by Mary TG on August 12, 2012 at 4:04am

It goes against everything natural, I just can't imagine.  My views on physical harm to children solidified the day my first child was born and my in-laws were trying to get him circumcized while I was in recovery.  My husband asked me and I said 'over my dead body'.  From there was born my no harm to children policy.  The absolute very hardest thing for me as a mother is seeing the physcal harm they do each other!!

There is a society that has been created, at least in the US, where children are treated as second class citizens.  You can hit them, though it is illegal to hit someone your own size!!  Makes no freaking sense.  Kids are taught that their opinion doesn't matter, only adults know what's going on.  Only adults can make decisions, do difficult things and make rules.  No wonder so many people grow up hitting their kids.  Change in our society should start with how we treat our children.  With respect, love,  and regard to their developmental stages.  Meeting the needs of the children, not spanking them into submission, that's the way.

 

@ "I wish we lived in more open and relaxed societies like primates do or some tribal people do.  Children should be free to play and run outside and make messes and get dirty."

PK, you'd like it at my house:)

 

Permalink Reply by PK on August 12, 2012 at 5:49pm

+1 Mary.  It seems I already do:D  Peace, PK

Permalink Reply by Lilie on August 19, 2012 at 11:16pm

Respect and love is the wonderful way. In my early childhood I would fight and constantly verbally abuse people. I was a very angry child. At first my mom did spank me. She had a custom made leather spanking strap that would always hang outside her door. She grew up learning that you must spank your kids to discipline them and if you don't spank, then your children will never respect you or learn from their mistakes. In response to this, I would just get worse. I felt anger towards the whole world and even towards my own mother! There was a constant presence of fear and resentment and I was only 7!

Then she stopped. I don't know why, but she did. For the past seven years, she has been just sitting me down and talking to me. And it has made the world of a difference. Now, we both share an extremely loving and close relationahip, contrary to the stereotypicalness that teenagers are known for in regards to relationships with parents. Now that I look back, I am amazed at the patience and love she had, and still has, o be able to stay calm until I understood something, in stead of just "hitting me till I got it." It makes me feel like I matter to her. She is now a constant and healing presence for me as I go through my teen years.

So, bottom line: it works and I agree with you that the change starts with the children. :)

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