One of the more common types of posts we see here on 30BaD belong to a certain type of approach, and I'd like to take a moment to explain why it is nonsense.
We see over and over again the idea that "I failed, fell off the wagon, slipped up, gave in, caved... and now I'm starting over!"
Let's have a look at this and see if we can't help correct this flawed approach.
Say you set out to climb a mountain, and after an hour of hiking you step on a loose rock and slip. You stumble and fall and scratch your knee. For a moment you hold your knee, wipe off the blood and then you stand up. Now, upon standing up, do you say to yourself: "I failed!! I fell, and now I have to start all over again!"
Of course you don't. Because even though you fell, you're still an hour into the ascent! You're not back at the beginning; you're not back to selecting the mountain or buying your gear, or driving to base camp. You're an hour into the ascent! And so you pick yourself up and continue climbing, knowing that all you lost was a few minutes and a little blood and sweat, and being a mountain climber you know it's totally natural to stumble here and there, and totally natural to lose a little blood and sweat along the way.
The essential problem with the "I failed" approach is a psychological one, and all that is required to correct it, is a little tweaking of our perspective. When you feel the first stirrings of 'failure mentality' creeping into your thoughts, remind yourself of where you are, how far you've come. When you go a week of HCRV and then you have a cooked meal, remind yourself of the week of HCRV, put the cooked meal (the scratched knee) behind you and continue on, unabated!, all the more experienced at climbing!
So this is my message to all of you who beat yourselves up, who falsely imagine that the cooked meal you had last night was akin to hitting the reset button, and the message is this:
Stand up, dust yourself off, and keep climbing! The rest of the ascent is still in front of you, and the summit still awaits!
"The only failure is the one we name as such"
See also: Why it's ok to "screw up" at first, by Apollonia
this is great!
This is a concept I learned during my recovery from my ED. The "all or nothing," "success or failure" way of thinking that is so problematic and anxiety producing. The less anxiety you cause yourself, the easier it is to get over your little bump in the road and make good choices.
You're right. And every mistake is an opportunity to learn something very valuable to the overall success of this lifestyle.
Nice analogy Jon..
Wonderful post!! Thank you for this simple and inspiring truth.
Great post!!! =D
ugh I fuggin LOVE THIS!!!!!!!
Perhaps sometimes one can look back and say they have to re-climb every mountain they've ever journeyed. I think your analogy is spot-on. Thanks.
Excelente articulo! felicidades.