One of the more common types of posts we see here on 30BaD belong to a certain type of approach, and I'd like to take a moment to explain why it is nonsense.
We see over and over again the idea that "I failed, fell off the wagon, slipped up, gave in, caved... and now I'm starting over!"
Let's have a look at this and see if we can't help correct this flawed approach.
Say you set out to climb a mountain, and after an hour of hiking you step on a loose rock and slip. You stumble and fall and scratch your knee. For a moment you hold your knee, wipe off the blood and then you stand up. Now, upon standing up, do you say to yourself: "I failed!! I fell, and now I have to start all over again!"
Of course you don't. Because even though you fell, you're still an hour into the ascent! You're not back at the beginning; you're not back to selecting the mountain or buying your gear, or driving to base camp. You're an hour into the ascent! And so you pick yourself up and continue climbing, knowing that all you lost was a few minutes and a little blood and sweat, and being a mountain climber you know it's totally natural to stumble here and there, and totally natural to lose a little blood and sweat along the way.
The essential problem with the "I failed" approach is a psychological one, and all that is required to correct it, is a little tweaking of our perspective. When you feel the first stirrings of 'failure mentality' creeping into your thoughts, remind yourself of where you are, how far you've come. When you go a week of HCRV and then you have a cooked meal, remind yourself of the week of HCRV, put the cooked meal (the scratched knee) behind you and continue on, unabated!, all the more experienced at climbing!
So this is my message to all of you who beat yourselves up, who falsely imagine that the cooked meal you had last night was akin to hitting the reset button, and the message is this:
Stand up, dust yourself off, and keep climbing! The rest of the ascent is still in front of you, and the summit still awaits!
"The only failure is the one we name as such"
See also: Why it's ok to "screw up" at first, by Apollonia
Permalink Reply by Viktoriya on Thanks for posting this! I'm definitely guilty of the "I fell and I'm starting over" mentality but I realize that that is not the way it works. Your words hit the nail in the head!
Permalink Reply by Macuilxochitl on It's even more simple than that. Life unfolds in moments, so at any given point, you're either doing raw or you're not. It isn't an achievement issue like climbing some mountain.
Permalink Reply by Jon Fergus on Hi Marco. I disagree. That's exactly what leads to the "failure mentality" I'm speaking of... imagining that life is to be judged moment to moment instead of by its totality. A person who judges their success not on the accumulated journey, but solely on an individual moment falls into the trap of being either a 'success' or a 'failure' in any given moment. Whereas, a person who judges their success on the basis of the accumulated journey will see that there is always continual growth and change and that static moments matter not when placed aside the dynamic movement of their life.
And what we're talking about here are people who have set goals for transforming their lives, which obviously is an 'achievement issue'.
Permalink Reply by Macuilxochitl on Nah, you can only judge yourself as a failure or a success when you're inside the achievement trap. Being rooted in the present moment means that there's nothing to achieve in the first place, since now is all there is. It's up to you what you make out of it.
Permalink Reply by greg6ft6 on I think this is always an interesting approach, the whole "now is all we have" idea. And believe me, I understand the concept (I meditate regularly, read the "Power of Now", etc). It's just that now is not "all there is". Because if you truly wholeheartedly believe it, that there is no future or past, then why make an effort now? Are you some masochist who just enjoys the pain, blood, and sweat without any expectation for the rewards they create? Of course not.
As beings with a mental capacity able to project into the future, we have to have tools to reign in the "doom and gloom" that sometimes occurs when we slip. And yes, even you have to make plans Marco (how else would you know to buy the next box of bananas in time? Hmm?). I agree that you don't want to stare at the past/future and forget to live now. I just want to remind you that as normal humans beings we have to at least *glance* ahead to make sure we're headed in the right direction.
Anyways, my two cents. Great post Mr. Jon Fergus
Permalink Reply by Macuilxochitl on Think you got me wrong here. I'm not talking 'bout actions (like buying bananas or putting money aside to save), but about the way you process life emotionally.
Permalink Reply by Sofie Kovalenko on like!
Permalink Reply by pradtf on what we're talking about here are people who have set goals for transforming their lives
transformation is a journey not a destination, so your analysis is quite excellent jon!
even 'brownian' progress doesn't necessitate hitting the reset button!!
though we must admit that windoze users do necessarily have an unusually high propensity for doing so.
in fiendship,
prad
Permalink Reply by Jon Fergus on though we must admit that windoze users do necessarily have an unusually high propensity for doing so.
Haha... true, true. :(
I'm thinking there's a computer analogy in here somewhere... maybe a programming one - a person sets out to write the code for a program, gets to the beta stage and realizes some part of the code didn't work out right. Instead of starting over, they troubleshoot... find the part that's not working and fix it, then run the program again.
How's that for an HCRV analogy? No reason to start over if our beta trial doesn't work; all we need to do is come to 30BaD to troubleshoot, then run the program again ;)
Of course, running a program right depends on a decent OS... can't blame the program for a faulty OS, can we? ;P
Next discussion: who can come up with the best HCRV analogies :D
Permalink Reply by pradtf on I'm thinking there's a computer analogy in here somewhere... maybe a programming one - a person sets out to write the code for a program, gets to the beta stage and realizes some part of the code didn't work out right. Instead of starting over, they troubleshoot... find the part that's not working and fix it, then run the program again.
that is actually excellent, jon!!
it relates perfectly to your op because in a way your dietary choice is a parallel to your os choice.
hcrv is like linux. it is sleek, fast and function! if you don't do it right, you don't have to start over, you just need to pick up where you left off and do it right from there!
sad, crapaleo etc are like windoze. you can't do it right, so you'd better hit the reset button! in fact, starting over won't get you too far, so you'd better switch to a different os! :D
(there's a funny story about micro$oft accusing the russians of stealing some parts of windoze code and they just asked in astonishment "why would we do that?")
you've really done a superb job with the concept in your op and the evidence for this is demonstrated in the numerous posts of appreciation. i suggest your thread be featured (you should be able to do this yourself as a pks i think - imho, it is deserving and you have no reason to feel modest about the insight you have brought everyone here!)
your thread may be exactly what jennie_raw claims it to be in a later post:
http://www.30bananasaday.com/xn/detail/2684079:Comment:2468318
good show!!
in friendship,
prad
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