Okay so for a long time I have dreamed about travelling and trying all these different cusines (particularly going to Korea and finding the best kim chee...) and I also want to have my own breakfast cafe when I'm older.... and be that mum who makes the best chocolate cookies for her kids.... and cook every recipe in my collection of cookbooks..... well at least I think I do.
See, before I found this lifestyle.... I wanted all these things (and I'm sure many other people did to.... well except going to Korea and finding the best Kimchee... haha)... but now, I don't know and i'm stuck in a very 'depressing' situation because I feel so confused whenever I eat something or whenever i'm asked: 'so what do you want to do in the future?'
Right now I am one month into an INTENSE six month baking course. I don't eat anything I make (except the bread... when it's vegan)... but I really enjoy what I am doing. I love getting my hands into the doughs and batters, or rolling out hand made puff pastry and then watching them bloom in the oven and transform into this completley different edible object. (by the way I signed up and paid for this course two months before I found this so there is no way i'm bailing to find my true 'purpose')
A typical day for me is fruit for breakfast, snacks and dinner and for lunch I will have either cooked rice or 2 rye sandwhiches with a bit of avocado and salad. I Love eating fruit (and I eat alot now!) .... but I feel like I am missing out on so many missed oppurtunities to connect with my family and friends.
I have grown up with thinking meals are to be celebrated and shared... and when I don't eat with my family, or what has been cooked.... I feel lonely. Today my sister prepared a vegan tofu and soba noodle vietnamese salad for both of us for dinner. Despite noticing a bloat after eating it (due to the salt in the soy sauce dressing), I felt happier because I enjoyed the meal... and was able to eat it with the comfort of my sister who so kindly spent her own time preparing it for us.
I just need some help. Do I stick with eating this fruit diet? Is it for me? how do I know? Do I give up my dreams completley? I am so lost and confused!!! =(
Permalink Reply by Morgan on Are you married? So do you cook for your family occasionally? I'm sorry, but not matter who it is, to say they won't try a meal you labor over is pretty stubborn. Don't carry their problems on your back. If they are unhealthy, that is their choice. Believe me, I had to leave some major negative influcences behind and I know - it wasn't easy, but life now w/out the negativity is freaking glorious.
Take into consideration, they're weighing you down and if it's your parents and you are living w/ them, well def. time for a new place, :) imo. ..
Permalink Reply by Juliana on married! lol.... i'm only 18. they're not weighing me down.... as I have mentioned earlier they're supporting me, supplying the fruit for me and are allowing me to experiment. They're just stubborn because they don't understand, that's all. I think I have confused you. As I said, once I start reeping the benefits then they'll begin to understand =)
Permalink Reply by Justin on Oh, honey . . . I totally understand. A couple years ago, I felt I finally discovered the passion in my life: food. I became absolutely obsessed with ingredients, cultural practices, techniques, the history, and even the science behind it all. In person, I'm not much of a talker, but, through food, I felt I could properly express to others the deepest parts of my soul in a way far superior to a thousand conversations.
What truly intrigued me was baking. I even felt I established a connection with my German heritage by developing my very own recipe for laugenbrezeln -- the true pretzels. (However, mine are pretzel bagels . . . and contain much less salt than most.)
I've been pondering this the last few days, actually . . . Creating baked goods, especially the bagels, makes me happy. It makes me even happier to see something I have made with my own hands make someone else happy, even if just for a moment. I decided. As long as what I create makes others happy, I don't need to consume it. If they think it tastes wonderful, I don't need to taste it. I still want to start a business where I can just bake, but . . . that business might also have a few healthier offerings (green smoothies, fruit sorbet, date-based confections, and, perhaps, with time, HCRV versions of meals), as well. :) I can't expect everyone else to convert. However, when that next customer on the SAD diet is buying a bagel, I could suggest trying one of the healthier items, as well, and maybe, just maybe, that might cause that person to consider a new, better path. Hey, maybe they can take one of those brochures on the counter, as well . . .
In any case, I do hope you find the path that truly makes you happy. :)
Permalink Reply by Juliana on thanks... but isn't it slightly i don't know the right word... hypocritical? giving people food you won't eat because you know its bad for your health? i mean as i mentioned, i'm still transitioning and so occassionaly eat bread... but in the long run, even though baking makes me happy ... i struggle to see the benefits of endorsing something that may make others sick... but if i do have my vegan cafe.. i would be doing exactly that...
on the other hand... you might want to make this sometime... http://www.wildyeastblog.com/2008/08/28/saltless-tuscan-bread/
Permalink Reply by Justin on Oh my . . . perhaps it is.
How I saw it was that I'd be offering something that's healthier than what that person could have had. (I was imagining competing in the market nearby with the fast food places that are too popular with the locals. The healthiest non-greasy option for food-on-the-go here is Subway. Instead of the usual for lunch one could try a pretzel bagel and smoothie, for example.) Then again . . . maybe I'm just desperately trying to justify baking since it's the only way I've been able to connect with people all these years, haha. Golly, this thread's really had me thinking lately. :)
Oo, I've been wanting to try a bread without salt! Those loaves are beautiful. I might try that! Thank you. Until I make up my mind, I'll try experimenting with the bagel recipe to remove the salt.
Permalink Reply by Juliana on totally understand what you mean about making the healthier option. but i'm sure baking isn't your only mean for connecting with people... riding bikes, family picnics with lots of fruit, an afternoon of charades or arts and crafts, going to a farm picking fruit, going to the beach... plenty of other things we can do to get our minds off baking.
then again... i'm making the saltless bread tomorrow! >./p>
Permalink Reply by Paulina on I almost went to culinary school :) But after I went raw I realized I started to feel really good and I knew that eating SAD food would only make me stop feeling that way. And I still love food as much as I did before (actually probably more so!).
Food is definitely a great way to connect with those you love, but you can still do that! Share what you learn with your friends and family and maybe they'll be up for diving in with you. You can be the mom that gives the best food you can for your kids :)
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