Hello. It's me again.
6 years batteling with ED :(
i am starving ... afraid of eating and drinking anything besides water coffee and sodas...
i do not know anymore what to do, hm... I know what to do but I can't do it...
it is so so annoying, it is so sad and tiring.
I am exosted I have a nervous breakdown, lack of energy, all day in bed.
My closest family are helpless. I was on a 1,5 month close therapy it was tougher but I love to eat so I was the only one that don't abuse there.
But after that I back on my stupid track with "not eating alone" "with bit eating with my boyfriend "
how to stick to my own lifestyle-> vegetarian/ vegan with no fears.
i know and i want aging weight! I must gain about 13 kg...but I don't know how without feeling guilty after everything
Dear Karolina, I am truly sorry for your suffering. I want to give you some ideas. I am going to be blunt also because I think you need it. You must take responsibility for your eating habits! Must! Or you will die a VERY PAINFUL death! You will suffer immensely! You need to start watching some cancer struggle videos ASAP! You have already seen that NOBODY can help you with this. Your family has tried and failed. It will be the same with everyone else. This is something you must overcome! This is your life! This is your challenge! Take up the challenge! Get mad! Get frustrated! Ask questions! I am here to tell you that having a victim mentality will NOT serve you! Obviously death is not enough for you to change your mind. You need to ask yourself the big questions. What does your health look like 5 years from now if you don't change? How much suffering will you have endured because you were too stubborn to change your mind? Wake up! I WANT YOU TO HAVE A HAPPY FULLFILLING LIFE with lots of children and you get to grow to become a grandmother! NEVER GIVE UP! Make a list of what you need to do. Implement the list into your life. DO IT.
first person for me wwho tell so much truth.
it hurts me very much, but you're right ...
on a daily basis I forget about it, I know when the "devil" achieves what he wants, that is, I do not eat .
i do not know if your are understand me bc i am from Poland and i am learning english all the time :)
i hate beeing anorexic, i hate it, i hate "her"....
So sorry you are struggling! Maybe something outside the box will help.
This Mom understands food, raw foods and does healing, maybe reach out to her and see if she could help you or what she might recommend:
Hi girl... I have been struggling with ed as well. I find it not to be about food, but about love... and neglect. when we were neglected in childhood we learned to neglect ourselves. And now we are stuck in a loveless place, surrounded by people who doesn't really understand and love us for who we truly are. Maybe you can try understanding how hurt your own inner child is, and scared to eat, and try to give your inner child some love, and understanding. Embrace yourself and your ed. Your ed is not the issue, you are using your ed to survive all the hurt you are feeling inside. Try getting to the root cause of your issue, which is a loveless place inside yourself <3